SMALL IS BEAUTIFUL

Yes, its an expression that, “small is beautiful” but, “Big attracts more.”

There is a Latin expression, which I must have quoted a zillion times: “Obscurus fio” it means, “when I am struggling to be brief, I become unintelligible.” Hence expressing your views on twitter in that small window of 140 characters is next to impossible for me. Therefore, I am back to the blog to elaborate my point.

Expressing your feelings is not restricted in the form of writing alone but even in music, if you go back from the 17th to the 19th century, some of the most famous classical music composers forgot if they had ever known the principle called, “small is beautiful.” For example, Joseph Haydn the father of symphony followed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart wrote several symphonies which are long musical composition for orchestra, usually in several movements and not only him but Beethoven, Schubert, Schumann, Tchaikovsky, Mendelssohn et all followed the same pattern.

Shahid Afridi’s symphonies are short and brief and when he is on song, he is a treat to watch, it is like a “simple harmonic motion.”

A motion that is neither driven nor damped, it simply oscillates. The motion is periodic and repetitive without any standard intervals in a specific manner which goes on Boom-Boom with brute force and there is no damping.

In physics and engineering, “damping” is mathematically modeled as a force with magnitude proportional to that of the velocity of the object but opposite in direction to it. Thus, for a simple mechanical damper, the force F is related to the velocity “V” :

F = -CV

where “C” is the damping coefficient.

Similarly, the letter “F” in aFridi, stands for “Force.”

Most people on this blog know that I support Shahid Afridi. YES I do BUT, not blindly. I do righteously and forthrightly like a ‘straight-shooter.’

As a matter of fact, I am a very good ‘skeet-shooter’ (clay pigeon and trap shooting) and it is one of my favourite sports and I love it. I am fortunate enough to have inherited some of the best guns in the world, NOT a Holland & Holland but, John Rugby’s 28″ double barrel 12 gauge hammer-less shotgun from my father. Plus a Mauser .320 bolt action rifle and a .375 H&H Magnum Belted Rimless Nitro-Express which is a piece of art.

Don’t wanna boast much, but being a narcissist this is enough for me to stir a debate and to get some sarcastic comments from Afridi haters and my foes.  I would love to see their envious response and the venomous comments after they have read this blog.

Anyways, I am not going to shoot a partridge, pheasant, a sand grouse, a tiger here, or even a “duck” like Afridi lays too often which is the other side of his madness and that is kinda rejoicing for his haters and saddening his supporters, but today I am here to endorse the truth that Afridi is the Force!

I have been ranting since ages, that there is no player like Afridi in the whole world, especially in the ODI and T20 format. He is not just good playing on the subcontinent tracks, where he definitely has a very good track record. But, in SA and Australia too he has scored with brutal force, hitting monstrous sixes in Perth, Melbourne and Johannesburg.

Often his critics refer him as a flat track bully or a one trick pony! They have said: He is gone, he is finished, he is a spent force, he should not be in the team.

And, his biggest hater Waqar Younus said, “Afridi should not be in the squad.” What a personal grudge Waqar, shame on you.

Time and again Afridi has proved his critics wrong and some of them have to eat their words and “chew the cud” like a humble cow and admit that: “Yes, Afridi is one of the most talented cricketers in the world, he showed us his batting prowess. But, very soon they will forget about this achievement.

When Afridi is on the ground there is a buzz in the stadium, people are on their toes, holding their breath.

He is one of the most charismatic, enigmatic cricketer in the world. His bowling mesmerizes the opponents his 348 wickets in ODI’s speaks for him. His fielding is amazing and has held a few sensational catches, that catch of Styris:

On another occasion his catch of A.B. “Deliver”  that is how our Pra Waqqa pronounced his name as A.B. Delivers. I am sure Abraham or AB de Villiers … pronounced as “Dee-vie-li-A” would die of a heart attack if he hear Waqar Younus calling him a “Delivery Boy!

The only reason Afridi’s prominence is obvious now is because, he is not under someone’s shadow or at the mercy of the captain and the coach i.e., they have always played yo-yo with his batting order and team selection. Very often he was rested or dropped without any justification and that hampers anyone’s confidence. But, the tiger when he gets wounded gets more ferocious and comes back with more vengeance. ‘Vengeance is food that’s eaten cold.’

This time he is back in the team with so much pressure from everyone, including the media and I remember reading this: “This is a last chance for Shahid Khan Afridi to prove his worth, or he is dumped forever!”

Wow, this is how a hero is treated in Pakistan. Poor are the nations that do not have heroes, but beggared are those who have forgotten them. Afridi is not only alive but a playing member of the team with lots of cricket remaining under his belt unlike the spent force Misbah who fills in the gap with “a blank.”

Its an insult to Afridi to compare him with a nothing player like Misbah. One cannot even compare him with the little master Tendulkar because, they are in a different class. The way Afridi plays cricket makes him unique in his own way, there never was any player like him, there is no player like him and there will never be any player like him, ever!

IF Tendulkar has records for his consistency in scoring highest runs in ODIs, Afridi has records which are peerless, un-parallel, unmatchable and incomparable to anyone, his two fastest ODI centuries, 37/100 still a world record

His 308 sixes (still going) in ODIs, can never be achieved in the next 50 years, his 348 wickets and 7197 runs in the ODIs makes him the 3rd player in the world to achieve that feat and he is the ‘one and only’ Pakistani to do that, yet we have haters like Waqar Younus.

Unfortunately, there are so many Pakistanis who hate him from the bottom of their heart for no ‘bloody’ reason. Jealousy is at its best and we see this among our own people, because ‘we are like this only’.

Suddenly after this fantastic innings of Shahid Afridi in the 3rd ODI, his 88 in 48 balls with 7 Monstrous sixes and 5 fours at a strike rate of 183.33 has made the same senile media go ga-ga over his Boom-Boom batting prowess and now they are suggesting the coach and captain to promote his batting order.

Just leave the guy alone, let him play his natural game, he is a living legend and people must learn to respect their legends.

I am waiting to see the reactions of my fans! My fans from my hate club.

Ps The best time for planning a blog is: When I am cooking something very special i.e., because I enjoy cooking, the aroma of the spices and the sizzling of the cuisine creates new brain cells and I come up with new ideas hahaha… oui c’est vraiment.

Urdu is Pakistan’s national language, only a few Urdu speaking sects mainly found in Karachi, the salees Urdu or the shusta zubaan that once used to be the main language in the courts of the noblemen in Delhi, Lucknow etc., is kinda rare now. What we see, hear and talk today in Urdu, is the aam bol chaal which is not the same Urdu as before.

Anyways, after reading this blog please don’t challenge me or, point out my mistakes, because to err is human. LOL, yet I am criticizing others and yes why not? We need to criticize each other rather than being complacent or shy or, say its not my business. It is our business to correct and to protect our language.

My intention here is not to ridicule anyone instead, I would like the Ghazal singers to take note of the basic ingredients when they are reciting or singing a Ghazal.

Ghazal is a Ghazal and it is not GAJAL

Mai Ghazal hoon, mujhe Raagaon se sajaya jai

Narm Awaz kay Jaadoo se Jagya jai

Mir aur Ghalib ne sanwara hai Ghazal kay fun ko

Mujh ko Nadaanaon kay hathaon se bachaya jai

Meray Gham jo aapko Miltay, tou aap apne hosh kho diyeh hotay

Yay tu mera dumm hai, jo muskurati hoon mai,

Garr aap hotay tu ro diyeh hotay

My advise is to my fellow non-Urdu speaking singers is, when you recite a Ghazal on stage or at a mehfil private or public, I am sure you must have practiced it, rehearsed it a few times or, even composed the music as in case of a few renowned singers, composers and music directors like A. R. Rahman etc., so my advise is:

1. Check out the pronunciation of ALL the words in that Ghazal, avoid Hindi version of J for Z. And, not just Gajal, but Jindagi, Firr etc., pls avoid Hindi words in Urdu Ghazal.

2. Check out the meaning of the words in that Ghazal and in what context it is used by the poet? For example the famous Ghazal, “Aaj Jaanay Ki Zidd na Karo…” almost all the famous singers have used it as a benchmark to prove they can sing it better (than others) to name a few: Habib Wali Mohammad, Shafqat Amanat Ali, Farida Khanam, A R Rahman, Richa Sharma, Gopa Chakarbarti etc.

I would rank Habib Wali Mohammad’s as the best from every perspective, the words, the accent, the emphasis on words, stretching the words in such a melodious way that has struck me as the best.

What is wrong with Shafqat Amanat Ali? aNo, nothing wrong he improvised it with classical music and ragas, its my personal view and my personal choice that he is after Habib Wali Mohammad. Earlier he used to say “wakt ki kaid may zindagi hai magar…” later he corrected it to, “waqt ki qaid may zindagi hai magar.:

Farida Khanam a great Ghazal singer but the same problem of “Qaaf” and “kay” its not Taaluk but Ta’aluq. I know a lot of ppl admire her, adore her worship her but, not my choice, and I’m restricting this only on this Ghazal, Aaj jaanay ki zidd na karo…

A R Rahman, great voice but he messed up this Ghazal aaj jaanay ki zidd na karo with a couple of blunders.  One, he started with “hai” murr jayenge, its not “hai” it is Haaayee murr jayenge. “Hai” means I have and “Haaayee” is a kinda Aaaah, a woe the feeling of melancholy, the feeling of pain and even the thought of the departure of my beloved. So, when he said “HAI” it changed the meaning of that verse.

The second mistake he made is, “Ruk lo” aaj ki raat ko. Whereas the correct word is “Roke lo” aaj ki raat ko. Now, Ruk lo means “you stay put” whereas, the poet is not asking the beloved to stay put, he is saying, hold the night, stop the time, roke lo aaj ki raat ko, meaning stop the time!

I mean how can you do that? Especially, a person like A R Rahman should have thought about it. Perhaps its due to the fact that Urdu is not his mother tongue.

Some common mistakes even among the Pakistani Punjabi Ghazal singers like, Ghulam Ali etc is: they keep repeating the words Tallak, Tallafazz, Kismet, Kaid etc., in stead of Ta’aluq, Talafuz, Qismet, Qaid.

The worst thing Ghulam Ali does is, he thinks the audience are idiots and fools, he starts explaining the meaning of difficult (in his view) words that he recites. Once in Dubai at a CitiBank sponsored concert, he was booed ‘coz he was explaining too much in between the Ghazal not just the meaning of words but, also on how to emphasize them, when and where? Come on Ghulam Ali that was a concert and not a teaching class for the novice students, people have paid money to listen to you. That was my one and only Ghulam Ali concert that I had attended.

Some other Indian notable singers like Gopa Chakarbarti, despite being a PhD in music cannot express the proper Urdu words, like the French ignores the letter or alphabet “H” or do not pronounce it especially where it is needed, she too has missed out the word “H” in her Ghazals, its neither Gajal nor, Guzal it is Ghazal. The Urdu alphabet “GHaiN” cannot be pronounced in Hindi. Surprisingly the letter R in French sometimes sounds like the Urdu letter “GHaiN” e.g., the car Renault is pronounced as “GHuNoo.”

You may challenge me for saying Renault is pronounced as GHuNoo but, its a fact that  a few years ago I met a French lady from France (not Quebec) and she introduced herself as Elisabeth GHuNoo, and I was kinda awwww??? (First of all the first name Elisabeth not Elizabeth never mind that, what was that noon GHuNoo? :b ? She said, like the car GHuNoo, I asked her you mean Renault? She replied, “Exactement” Exatly!

The Quebecois and the Latinos who speak French, they pronounce R as R and not as GH, lie our Urdu ka Ain, “GHAIN”. Whereas, when the Frenchmen or women from France, when they say France or Francais, they say “Frrnce” and “FrKHansay.” Its more like KHAN.  Anyways, I don’t want to drift from Ghazal to GHuNoo or how the correct French is spoken? Its an old story and not the subject here.

Richa Sharma: I have no clue about her background, she has impressed me with her singing skills and her improvisation abilities and the correct pronunciation of Urdu. She needs to be focusing more on classical than filmy songs and she should be conducting concerts all over the world including Pakistan.

Ps. I have made this blog longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter.

One foreign journalists wrote, “Pakistan is a country where nothing is permissible but, everything is possible.” Its true, it happens not only in the government, politics but in sports too. What is more surprising is everything is controlled in a dictatorial manner in the name of democracy.

The Pakistan Cricket Board or the PCB is one such organization which is supposed to be an independent and autonomous body is run by the President of the country who is the Patron in chief of the PCB. Reportedly he appoints the Chairman and the Chairman is not accountable to anyone but to himself. Because, the President of Pakistan has no time to look into the day to day affairs of the Board.

In the past we have seen so many Chairmen who have played cricket in Boardrooms like a Chessboard and that too in Poker face style. They have no experience of man management and no knowledge of the game. They came, they ruined, they got busted, booted and Butt-headed. The ultimate loser is the game of cricket in Pakistan. Yet, we have seen so much talent among the players that with all the odds they have been playing well internationally – they could have done better had there been better management and less politics in the PCB.

We have witnessed that in the event of a loss of series or a big tournament, there is always a change in the captaincy but, never at the Board level. The fault is not with the players but the fault lies in the management. The people working in the PCB are not bunch of jokers but, vultures. They are there to make money and they look after their own vested interest.

We have also seen cronyism is at its best in the PCB, the talented, the capable, the deserving is always ignored and the one who is selected is a friend of my friend or, he who has a political backing and a clout. The total team selection is based on regionalism and cronyism. Not only the team but the officials too are selected in the same manner.

We have seen corrupt players who have been banned from playing cricket for life by the Justice system of the country have been recruited as officials in the team. Example, Waqar Younus, Mushtaq Ahmad, Ejaz Ahmad and now there is a news in the market that Saleem Malik has been tipped as a batting coach for the national team?

Is there any morality left? How can they even think of appointing Saleem Malik as the batting coach for the Pakistan national team? I would like to quote here a link from the  Daily Tribune, our friend Umair Qazi has written the Malik Saga in detail i.e., how Malik used to toy with the opposition and with our own team. Here is the link:

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/14612/say-no-to-salim/#comment-159442

What is Saleem Malik going to give to the young players? Tips on how to fix a match? How to bet and how to get your partner runout? Some people are not aware of the fact that Salim Malik had an account in the defunct bank BCCI where he used to keep his “money” the bank was closed in the early nineties hence, easy come easy go.

Therefore, whoever knows Salim Malik besides his cricketing abilities and his talents should also remember that he brought a vulture culture in the dressing room where every player was affected from the cancer of betting and match fixing. Now that the dressing room is clean from all the ills, why is the PCB interested in bringing Saleem Malik back into the game? 

Therefore, YOU ALL should say NO to Saleem Malik’s appointment as a batting coach for the Pakistan National Team. PERIOD

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money I write with a lot of passion whether it makes sense or not but I don’t care about that, but I convey my point to you, did I or did I NOT?  I write like others breathe. 

Yay, this is the 100th thread that I have written on this blog alone, and thousands and thousands of comments.

Ahemmm, let us discuss with the members of our Politburo and then we will release an official statement. In the mean time please delete that blabbering, it was nothing but a loud thinking. So, please wait while we get back to you.

Ummmmm OK, we have now discussed it with our comrades at the CCI Politburo and we would like to make an official press release especially for you: ” The PCB Guys and the Pakistani public who are making a big hue and cry for nothing.”  And, you Mr. Ijaz Butt, you have lodged a baseless protest against us. In our opinion it is a diplomatic blasphemy on your part so it is about time that, you better amend your blasphemy laws in your PCB constitution.

For your kind information, the decision to nominate the player of the year award, especially the long list of players who were nominated for this award was decided by a panel of 32 independent jurors. Do you understand how many are 32? It means three tens and one + one.

And, before that, the longlist was prepared by not one man like Ijaz Butt, but a five-member very able Selection Panel headed by Clive Lloyd and it included Clare Connor (England), Tom Moody (Australia), Carl Hooper (West Indies) and Marvan Atapattu (Sri Lanka). See, there is no Indian in this panel, because they like to do the backseat mothering.

Now, also for your information, in that panel of 32 member INDEPENDENT jury, you have two of your very own ‘disabled & mistrusted’ people. One is a former test player and a former Chief Selector of the PCB Mr. Aamir Sohail and the other is your own journalist Mr. Majid Bhatti both were also the jurors of that panel. So, the mistake of not choosing Saeed Ajmal is not ours but, your own. Therefore, the next time if you lodge a protest Mr. Ijaz Butt, the Chairman of the PCB, you get your facts correct. Kapish?

You are saying that,  Saeed Ajmal, took 72 Test wickets between August 4, 2011 and August 6, 2012 – the qualifying period for the award – including 24 wickets at an economy rate of 14.70, and Pakistan swept aside England, the then NUMERO UNO side in the world. And whitewashed them 3-0 in January 2012. Ajmal  climbed to No. 3 rank in the ICC Test bowling rankings and is the highest ranked spinner. So, let us check our records before we correct this anomaly and we will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thursday Sept. 06, 2012:  OK there you go, YES we have checked the records and somehow our records show that NOW a Pakistani bowler called “Shaheed AQHmal”, has become the top bowler in the ODI rankings.  How is it possible? How can a Pakistani bowler and that too a spinner can be better than Graeme Swann of England? Let us check it again with the help our subsidiary “ICCB” (read reverse) and their top IT gurus.

Alright, something similar happened in the year 2010 when Swanny was not in the long list and our sister concern BCE (British Clowns of England) pointed out this error and we realized that was a genuine over-sight on our part. Because, Swanny is a great bowler. So, we had to include him in the  nomination. That is another matter that he lost to Bhagwan Sri Sachin Tendulkar, because we don’t want to “diss-please” ICCB because they support us whenever we need them.

But, in Ajmal’s case there are a few hindrances and obstacles, like he did not play on the hard bouncy wickets of Australia and South Africa, so we don’t know whether he will be as effective as he is in the UAE?  Besides, UAE is like an extended province of Pakistan. They even import the soil for the pitch from Pakistan and that is why their bowlers bowl well on those pitches and they keep on altering the pitch according to their needs. Fast track, slow track, medium track, bouncy, SurrSurri etc. etc.

Anyways, Mr. Ijaz Butt, the Chairman of the PCB must not give us threats of boycotting the ceremony because, they still have to come to Sri Lanka to play the T20 World Cup.

According to the official press release receieved from the PCB, Mr.Zaka Ashraf is the new Chairman of the PCB since January 2012. However, our (CCI) records indicate that Mr. Ijaz Butt is still the Chairman of the PCB. We will ask the ICCB techno savvy gurus to help us in amending our computer programming system.

Shaheed AHQmal has also violated the code of conduct laws by giving an statement to the media that the CCI is nominating player of the year award based on likes and dislikes and not on the basis of performance! How can he say that? Under the penal code no. 302 section 144 paragraph 3-4.7 clearly says that any player especially a Pakistani player IF he insults the CCI or CCIB directly or indirectly shall be banned for 7.382 years.

“After our discovering the error in our CCI computer system when we announced that Shaheed AQHmal is now the Numero Uno bowler in the world for ODI’s he is apparently over the moon.”  The picture below was taken by The Curiosity Rover from MARS.

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. I write for free and for fun, and this piece is written in total zest to amuse cricket lovers not because its a funny story but, its a truth that a real good bowler ~ Saeed Ajmal, who performed better than everyone else in the world,  is not being considered for an award by the ICC ~ And, that is a real shame.

SHAHEED AQHMAL IS OVER THE MOON

Dubai_Sports_City

IF you ask this question why Pakistan lost the ODI series against Australia? There could be a thousand reasons and a million different views on this subject. So, whoever wishes to express his views here is most welcome to agree or disagree with my views:

FIRST ODI

There was a collapse in the top order thereby giving Misbah and his rookies a free licence to start their tuk-tuk Battery. Even though the middle order sustained because of two partnerships, first between Misbah and Asad Shafiq putting up 49 runs together followed by a 61 runs partnership between Asad Shafiq and Umar Akmal both scoring 50 odd runs, it wasn’t enough to put on a decent score, they were bundled out for 198.

The slide started in the batting power play when Shafiq departed. Pakistan were 159 /4 and they were 198 all out, losing SIX wickets for 39 runs and that is not new. A couple of decades ago under Imran Khan’s captaincy, Sri Lanka and New Zealand used to get out like that against Pakistan. Even Lara’s West Indies was in the same league. Now, its Pakistan’s turn to get out in heaps and bounds within a space of 25-30 runs.

Australia were able to achieve that target of 199 in the 49th over which wasn’t an easy sailing for them despite Clarke’s 66 and Bailey’s 57 they seemed to have some difficulty in facing Ajmal who got rid of both Hussey’s and Maxwell as well. Australian win wasn’t that convincing.  IMO things would have been very different had Pakistan scored 30-35 runs more.

SECOND ODI

Australia scored 248 which wasn’t a bad total to defend, thanks to Ajmal again for his 4 wickets haul supported by Junaid Khan’s 3 wickets otherwise OZs could have scored 280+ runs. The onus was on the Pakistani openers to score quickly and Nasir Jamshed played a good knock, unlucky that he fell 3 runs short of his century. His partnership of 101 with Azhar Ali was the key and Pakistan won the match comfortably in the 44th over.

THIRD ODI

This was a crucial match and the series decider. Pakistan lost it because of their own stupidities and serendipities. First, when the opening pair added 129 runs at a good strike rate, they did not capitalize it and ended up adding only 115 runs losing all 10 wickets after that. This is so weird, when are these batsmen going to learn from their past mistakes? It seems like a “NeverEndum” conundrum for Pakistan, showing sporadic brilliance and then back to mediocrity the next moment.

Secondly, it was the unpardonable blunder by Ajmal. Out of all the players, Saeed Ajmal the bowler himself unexpectedly refused to call for a LBW referral for Hussey and no one knows why he did that? Most of us, including myself when we saw the ball in real time said, “Its Plumb LBW.”  But, Ajmal thought the ball wasn’t hitting the stumps, OR he was over confident that he will get Hussey the next ball or in the next over and disagreed with his colleagues to call for a referral.

However, the slow motion replay and Hawk-Eye revealed that Hussey was OUT. The match would have taken a big turn from there, Hussey went on to add 50 odd runs to his personal total. To add fuel to the fire, Azhar Ali dropped a sitter of Maxwell, who went berserk after that to finish off the game in no time, he added 26 runs to his personal score.

To talk about the performance of Afridi or Misbah’s captaincy to play a half fit Afridi or, sending him at number 3, or questioning Misbah’s decision to remove Ajmal after 3 overs when he gave only 11 runs for 3 wickets or finger pointing at the Akmals once again for a suspected conspiracy or, blaming Billy Bowden for not raising his crooked finger when Hussey was plumb, these are all lame excuses and an exercise in futility.

The fact is, the over all batting, fielding was “disgustipatingly” pathetic there wasn’t any discipline in the team to focus on their follies, Misbah as usual was seen disconnected with the team members, not going near them or talking to them except for standing alone with a #FacePalm and hoping for the match to end (i.e., when Azhar dropped Maxwell’s catch). Anyways, this ended the role of Misbah, he must be back home to watch the 3 match T20 series in Dubai from his living room on a TV set.

Hafeez, the Captain of the T20 team and, the so-called Professor has not been so good and effective as a captain and it seems that he has lost the ability of flying. After a long time he played a good knock in the 3rd ODI but, his bowling was pathetic. The sixes scored off his and Junaid’s bowling by the Australian openers gave them the confidence they needed, once again Ajmal was unplayable and bowled very well.

Afridi, is not likely to play the next two T20′s because of the split web injury he got during the 3rd ODI. Without Afridi, there is more vulnerability in the bowling department because, Afridi is good in his first 4 overs and, one can hope that Ajmal will mesmerize the OZ’s? IMO, its asking too much from the magician to get half the side out in his alloted 4 overs.

Its very likely that Shoaib Malik will play in Afridi’s absence. Imran Nazir and Abdul Razzaq have also joined the T20 garrison as reinforcement, with all this once again the question arises about the team selection and what is the playing XI for tomorrow’s T20? I think, Azhar and Asad should sit out as Nazir and Razzaq are more suitable for this format and Malik to replace injured Afridi.

Hence the playing XI will be:

Nasir Jamshed, Imran Nazir, Umar Akmal, Mohammad Hafeez, Kamran Akmal, Abdul Razzaq, Shoaib Malik, Sohail Tanvir, Junaid Khan, Saeed Ajmal, Umar Gul (His name is in the T20 squad, but not sure if he is joining the team?) Otherwise, it will be Yasir Arafat who will be the player to fill in the 11th spot.

Pakistan has 7 batsmen in this team which is more than enough, and in T20 you really don’t need so many batsmen, even 6 are fine. If six batsmen cannot score 150-160 runs then they should no play at this level.

Lets see how they play the first T20 tomorrow?

IMRAN KHAN THE LEADER

My dear friends, brothers, sisters, my elders and well wishers of Pakistan.  This cricket blog is turning into a new blog from today. As we have decided to change the course and the subject of our discussion from cricket to cancer. We all know that our cricketing hero Imran Khan has been targeted by a few of the opposition political parties. I have never been into politics in my life and I have no desire to be in it ever. The only reason I am writing this blog is I watched this video, which is so ugly and so disgusting and it provoked my conscience and I am sure a million other Pakistanis must have thought the same as I.

http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/13160/keep-cancer-out-of-politics-khawaja-asif/

After watching the above video in which Kh. Asif has shamelessly accused Imran Khan for misappropriating the funds of Shaukat Khanam Memorial Hospital for his personal use, I have taken this task to mobilize One Million US dollars for SKMH with the help of my on-line friends and followers also from those who are not my followers.  And, I shall also be using my personal contacts and friends all over the globe to help us in this noble cause. Initially this may look like an impossible task maybe some people may laugh at me or make fun of me. I am least bothered about it. Trust me my friends with hour help and with the help of Allah Almighty this is not difficult to achieve.

As a banker I have taken much bigger tasks and targets in my banking career and not only achieved them but surpassed them.  All we need is a first step followed by the second and the third for no one can climb a mountain with one giant leap. Please do not under estimate your power – the power of the people and with the power of twitter, face-book, emails, blogs sms and most importantly the word of mouth, we all can definitely achieve this target, Inshallah.

Charity begins at home, I will be the first one to start with a humble donation of $1000. I am not trying to be a show-off here, I can afford to donate this money and I will donate it, may Allah give me even more money and resources to increase my contribution further.  I shall be very happy to see even a ONE DOLLAR contribution from you because, an ocean is made of drops and your contribution will be more important than many others who are very rich.

No man is so poor as to have nothing worth giving as well might the mountain streamlets may say they have nothing to give to the sea, because they are not rivers. Give what you have, to someone it may be better than you dare to think. So give, give generously, give according to your status or your will and your desire to give.

This is not a trot and, we don’t want to prove it to anyone that we are doing this in retaliation to Kh. Asif & co. We should consider this as an opportunity to rise above all the other trivial people who are involved in mud-slinging on Imran Khan and trying to challenge his honesty, integrity and loyalty for the country.

They are doing this because they themselves are very corrupt and they have amassed billions of rupees through illegal means and they have kept their illegal money in off-shore banking accounts, they have cheated and looted the country and deprived the poor people from the basic needs of life. Now when they see that Imran Khan is going to bring a revolution in the country they are stooping so low by going on TV channels and splattering filth. This is their job, this the best they can do. They know this will be the end of their era of corruption so they are scared and doing every thing possible they can to spoil the reputation of the hospital and more than that of Imran Khan in particular.

We don’t want Imran Khan to say anything against them. Like, as a cricketer he used to say: “the best way to silence your opponents and your critics is to perform and win.”  At his level Imran Khan is performing and we as a part of his team, as well wishers of Imran Khan and as good citizens of Pakistan, we need to do this job not just for him but, for the country and for the people of Pakistan more so for the cancer patients who need this money most.

Let these people blab that Imran Khan has transferred the zakat and charity funds abroad and placed it in off-shore banks for his personal benefit, because they will not stop criticizing him. They are blabbering this because, themselves they have done this, they have acquired illegal wealth by hook or by crook and they think every politician is like them.

If a purblind nocturnal mouse sees not the sunlight, it is not the later to be blamed. But you my friends you now have a leader who has a vision and through him you can see not only the evil intentions of his opponents but, beyond that. And beyond that is our dream and our hope to make Pakistan a better country to live. Let us make this dream a reality.

With your support, we should be able to achieve this target which will be a beacon of light, a ray of hope for the cancer patients that together we can do it and, I am sure we will. Then, it will be a proof from the people of Pakistan wherever they maybe in Lahore, Karachi, California, Dubai or Montreal that Imran Khan is a leader of all the Pakistanis who are living within the country or, abroad.

Please do not doubt about how we will raise and collect this money and how we will transfer the proceeds to SMKH? We will ask Imran Khan and PTI to provide us bank account details of SMKH in Pakistan and abroad and even if needed we will ask our banker friends in Pakistan and Dubai to help in opening an exclusive bank account of SMKH at different locations only for this purpose to collect the money and transfer it to SMKH. Will this be a slap on the face of these ugly people? No, they don’t even deserve a second look, so why should we slap at them?

WE need to advise people through this blog or, through twitter and facebook, so that we bring awareness among people to defend our leader Imran Khan, he is respected by a majority of the people of Pakistan and he is the future hope for us for making a new Pakistan. If Terry Fox can run a marathon on one leg to raise funds for cancer research, you are 170 million and the immediate goal is only $1 million.

Terry Fox The Legend

I hope you all will agree on launching this campaign, if you do then you will see it will create ripple effects and the message will be conveyed to millions of people all over the world in just a few days. So, brothers, sisters and friends please join us in this noble cause i.e., to raise funds for fighting cancer. SMKH is doing a wonderful job, they need your support.

Even if you do not wish to contribute any amount, at least forward this message through emails, twitter and face book. This appeal is for all the 170 million people of Pakistan minus the handful of political miscreants, the crooks and criminals.  We don’t need to say Pakistan Zindabad or Imran Khan Zindabad. We simple need to work honestly, sincerely and truthfully.  I would like to thank you all and congratulate you all in advance because I have faith in you all, together we all can do it. Inshallah.

You may start writing your pledges on the  blog and collection of funds to be done later by authorized bankers and we will advise details later. Please be honest, sincere and loyal and please do not make fun of this or write jokes, this is very serious. We are talking about cancer and God-forbid,  it may happen to anyone of you or your friends, relatives, colleague neither you nor I shall be spared from this dreaded disease. Say YES and, be positive, spread love and not hatred.

“LOVE knows no limit to its endurance. No end to its trust, no fading of its hope. It can out last anything. It is in fact the very thing that stands when all else has fallen.”

I am posting my photograph here on the blog for you to know that its me and I am real, my name is real.

Sincerely Yours

JAVED ALI KHAN

Get that SMIRK off your face Salman Butt

Here comes the third liar SALMAN BUTT and, he thinks the whole world is stupid? What can you do, if you live in PAINDOOSTAAN and a few of your Chamcahas and Friends tell you not to speak the truth because your image will be tarnished? If only there is any image left?

The thing is Salman Butt believes that, if you persist on lying that you did not cheat and you are not a thief then, may be “ONE DAY” the World will believe you?  Unfortunately this does not happen in real world.

I was expecting that Salman Butt will come up with the same lies like Mohammad Aamir and he did not disappoint me. I am disappointed to see that he has not grown a beard. After hearing the inside stories about his religious behaviour in the jail that he is reading his namaz  and Quran regularly without missing any. And, when he will come out of Jail after the full term of his jail he would come out like a mini mullah. Perhaps because of this unexpected and early release from the jail he did not get enough time to convert into a Full Mullah.

We remember, he used to prostrate (Sajda) on the ground after making his hundred and constantly used to mutter duas before facing every ball and, then the news about his reading 5 times prayers and reading Quran so regularly, one would have thought, he must be a changed man now? Unfortunately nothing has changed, he was a liar and a pseudo religious person and he still is.

Salman:  Your body language confirms that you are lying, so don’t you have any shame in acting out the whole episode? Whether you agree or not, you’ve ruined the image of the country, reportedly you’ve coerced a young fast bowler to commit the same crime you did, that ruined his career, reportedly you were the ring leader of that match fixing, spot fixing saga and yet you claim that you don’t know anything about it to claim your innocence?

If you have any remorse “Ghairat” you should dive into a “Chulloo Bhurr Paani” and commit suicide. Instead you still carry that SMIRK on your face. I have never seen such a shameless person who is not willing to learn from his past mistakes and vehemently denying all charges against him.

Your ego is as inflated as a hot air balloon and there is no substance in the words you have uttered in the past and even after coming out of the jail, and you have the gumption to announce that you will hold another big press conference to explain us (dumb, idiot, dimwit, dolts – the uneducated and contrivers) that you are not guilty but innocent? You are saying that the whole of British judiciary is incompetent?

You claim that the whole system was against you and they planned and plotted a conspiracy against you? Go ahead and please say in your so-called forth-coming press conference that is a JEWISH conspiracy! And, we will all believe you and join you in the name of Jihad.

In the above paragraph I have mentioned that you have ruined Aamir’s career which may be true but, that does not mean he should be pardoned and allowed to play for the country. In my books, ONCE A THIEF, ALWAYS A THIEF.  But, if you have coerced him then the fact doesn’t change, you did ruin his career.

For the sake of young players please admit that you are guilty like hell.

Being older than Aamir, you must compel him to speak the truth, because, like you he too is still lying and he has shifted the blame on you that you coerced him and he is innocent.  Now, it is a mud-slinging game. By admitting guilt the facts will not change but, sympathies may pour in. We all shall be saying at least he has admitted the crime he did so, lets forget and move ahead.

Ahead we all will move, change will come, no one can stop the time but, Salman Butt,  if you do it for your own “Aaqibut” you will be a relieved person. How can you carry the burden for the rest of your life? Remember you have a son and may be because of him Allah may have created the circumstances that you are out of the jail sooner than later.

So, for YOUR SON’S SAKE be a true Muslim and not a pseudo and STOP denying that you were not involved in it. Because, there is no smoke without fire.

If you are so religious, let me give you a “religion ka vasta” and I hope it works ????

Otherwise, this burden of guilt will kill you.

I would like to quote the first 4 verses from Surah “Adh-Dhariyat” or The Winnowing Winds. Chapter 51 – Al-Quran.

“By the scatters scattering, 
By those carrying a heavy burden, 
By those running and flowing easily, 
By those who subdivide a matter.”

If you read the ayat in Arabic, the four words, Adh-Dhariyat (those that scatter); Al Hamilat (those that carry heavy burden); Al-Jariyat (those that speed lightly along) and Al-Muqassimat, (those that distribute).

When pointing to the physical phenomenon it may stand for the vapours that rise from the oceans, carry the clouds with rain water, blow gently then, cause rain to fall on dry parched and burnt land and then turn it into blooming, blossoming and smiling earth that bear flowers and sweet fruits.

Spiritually, the meaning is different, these 4 words mentioned above stand for those righteous men who drinking deep at the spiritual fountain that our Holy Prophet caused to flow after assimilating and impregnating the teachings of Quran, went forth to all 4 corners of the globe, carrying the blessed burden and scattering the revealed word of the Almighty not with sword but with love and peace like, the winds that blow gently and carry rains to withered lands and release the burden.

I hope when you have released the burden that you have been carrying for so long, you will become a relieved person. Because, if the intentions are good then the result of relieving the burden should bear good results and bear sweet fruits. Hence you need to become Al-Muqassim i.e., the one who distribute.  

Distribute, love, affection, humility, compassion etc., etc., and ALL this can be done if you are a honest, sincere and a truthful person. And, you can never do this if you keep lying again and again and again. 

I think I have touched your conscience but, not stirred it. Get real Salman and stop being a pseudo.

The Pakistan Cricket Board is full of nincompoops and jokers, they don’t know anything about cricket and they don’t know anything about management. Each time there is a new tournament or a new tour, the team selection is pathetic.  Earlier I used to get surprised and shocked but, not any more because, you can always expect the unexpected from these goons.

Number one, they are biased and select players and captains on the basis of regionalism, nepotism and cronyism. Number two, they don’t care about the game or the future of cricket in Pakistan, they are interested about their future and how much money and fame they can get in making a fast buck. Hence, they select the “Parchee Players” like, Shoaib Malik, Faisal Iqbal, Imran Farhat who are backed by their respective Chachas, Mamas and Father-in-Laws.

The appointment of the Captain is so sacred and so holy that he must be from the holy-land only otherwise he cannot survive. I was wondering what was wrong with Shahid Afridi Captaining the ODI and T20′s side and he did a pretty good job in gelling the wounded “langree-looli” team after that SPOT FIXING incident and under his captaincy he made it to the World Cup semifinals and we all know what happened during that match in Mohali and the reward for making it up to the semifinal which was a feat that was achieved after more than a decade was, ‘stripping him off the captaincy job’.  This happens only in Pakistan.

Making Hafeez the T20 Captain “just for the Sri Lanka tour” is another joke and a Frankinstein experiment. Hafeez has been playing cricket for almost a decade and in between he was lost and forgotten during the days of Inzamam, Younus Khan captaincy. The person who rediscovered Hafeez is Afridi. Afridi as a captain gave Hafeez numerous opportunities to open the batting and bowling for Pakistan at international level. He actually made Hafeez what he is today by building his confidence. Now, they make Hafeez the Captain and make Afridi play under him?  Obviously it hurts to anyone be it Afridi or anyone if such a musical chair game is played where he is demoted for no reason.

WE all thought that anyone who will replace Ijaz Butt would be a better Chairman but, Zaka Ashraf having no experience of the game or even that of man management  appears to be a puppet and a toy in the hands of the old regime of bureaucrats, he does nothing and his main goal is to bring a club level team from Canada to play in Pakistan to prove to the nation that he has restored international cricket in Pakistan? If he does so it shouldn’t be a feather in his cap but, a shovel in Ijaz’s Butt.

Now, look at the team that has been selected for all three formats, Hafeez is the captain of the T20 and Misbah remains captain for Test and ODI’s. How farcical and how comical? And, on top of that the news that  ”Misbah stepped down from T20″  Why the F is he playing cricket? He should retire and play Carom Board in Mianwali.

As regards the players, they are either Sifarishi or Sialkoti.  Count the number of sifarishi players and the Sialkoti players, is it 73.87%  ????  :-)

Most appalling inclusions are of Shoaib Malik, Sohail Tanvir and Yasir Arafat in the T20 squad.

For ODI, Sarfaraz Ahmad the wicket keeper should not be in the team. That is my view because, I have not seen him doing anything with the bat, even that Asia Cup final score was nothing to write home about it was more of a pain than a pleasure. Farhat is back again with a pain in his whatever and that is because he got a new Parchee, for Tests, Taufiq Umar, Faisal Iqbal are a drag and Who is Mohammad Ayub and Misbah ul Haq?

If the writing is honest it cannot be separated from the man who wrote it.

YAARI HAI-ZARDARI HAI AUR CRICKET KI BARBADI HAI

WHY is Mr. Asif Zardari poking his nose in cricket? Just because he is the sleeping patron in chief of the cricket board in Pakistn does not give him the right to do so.  In politics, he used ALL his resources to come into power and sneaked in through the backdoor. The PPP got sympathy votes because of BB’s demise and Zardari bulldozed himself into power. Ever since he came into power he is bulldozing the country, which is almost flattened by corruption, lawlessness and disasters.

Recently he went on a YATRA to INDIA and came back looking holier than the COW. He seems to be looking very inspired by Manmohan Singh and wants to follow his footprints. Also, talking too much about developing bilateral ties between the two countries.

I hope its not going to be a “Kawwa Challa Hans Ki Chaal…”  or, follow the sheep or the PiedPipper story? You created IPL, I will create PPL and you roar, I fart.  Why the HELLO Pakistan needs to follow the footsteps of The BCCI? They can do weird things, adapt strange policies, demand extreme measures but, the PCB cannot do the same. They are in no position to demand, they have everything to lose and nothing to gain i.e., if they further antagonize the ICC, they will be isolated. Is this what Mr. Zardari wants do do before he takes another permanent one way flight to Dubai?

Zardari himself is always in “Chay-Oss” (this is exactly how he reads Chaos – so now his speeches are written in phonetics.) and he sought advise on cricket from 5 ex-Chairmen of the PCB and one of them is the “Buffoon” Ijaz Butt.  (By the way its not me but Malcolm Speed the former Chairman of the ICC called him “A Buffoon”).  And, why is DNA not in this committee? That is because he is a sensible person and he is the one who gave the PCB a written constitution for the first time in 60 years?

I support this rule  i.e.,  the ICC has set March 2013 deadline for all its affiliated members/boards to make their system more democratic and to ensure that no kind of interference is done in their affairs by their respective governments. The maximum punishment for not following the instructions could amount to disaffiliation of the PCB from the ICC.

Pakistan is already isolated from the rest of the world. Not even Bangladesh wants to come to Pakistan to play cricket in Pakistan. What a shame this happened during Zardari and Ijaz Butt’s time and neither of the two has extended their apologies to the Sri Lankan government, their cricket board, nor the players or, the people of Sri Lanka for that horrendous terrorist attack in Lahore.

Since then Pakistan is still playing International cricket outside their country and are at the mercy of the other board’s schedule and their moods. Right now they are at the mercy of SL and Australian cricket board and waiting for a reply from them i.e., to the SOS that Zaka has sent it to them saying, please, please, please accommodate us in your schedule and let us play a couple of matches with you in Sri Lanka.

Pakistan, if they remain adamant in their stupid approach will soon become an ORPHAN in the cricketing world. Paani may reh ker magar much say bair? Kimpossible.  Neither Zardari nor Zaka or any of their cronies are able to see what they are doing? Zardari and Zaka will soon be gone it will be left for others may be Imran Khan to flung the Dung left by these Buffaloes and Cows.

Well, the PCB is a cash cow and that is why they are all hovering around like vultures and they have not wasted any opportunity in damaging the game of cricket in Pakistan.  To make it to the British theater, you need to be White, middle-class, Oxbridge educated. And this is not just a single person’s opinion but, has been highlighted in the last 12 months by people all over in the UK.

Likewise in Pakistan if you want to make it to the national team and if you ant to be the captain of the Pakistan cricket team you have to be an elitist from the province of Punjab. You don’t need anyone to vouch for this bold statement, its known to everyone and everyone who is not from the Punjab is saying this. Well this blunt statement may hurt some of the people who are involved in it and they may say its not true but, history is there to prove it.  Shall we start digging out the names or, shall we leave it here for the grave diggers to their job? Just for info: I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done!  :-)

The best thing for Zardari is to become a janitor at the mazaar of his ex-wife.

ZARDARI'S FUTURE IS AT BENAZIR'S SHRINE

I am talking about reading  

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Through “most deniable“ resources I have come to know that a deal has been made between “IFs & Butts” that Mr. Shoaib Malik is “the most logical and deserving choice” to be appointed as Captain of the Pakistan team for the forthcoming T20WC tournament to be played in Sri Lanka in Sept. 2012.

Although Butt Sahab ka kehna hai kay, “Misbah noo hatanay di koi zaroorat nai — laikin — firr V agar hatta-nai hai tou, Malak noo laao, whore koi nai!” In fact half of his statement is definitely coming from the horses mouth called Ijaz Butt because, it is in the newspapers.  The other half is Khayaas Aaraiyan, meaning speculation.

Lets see the need for this “logical choice” and dissect it like the toad Rana Tigrina or what was its generic or species name, Hoplobatrachus tigerinus? The one we used to dissect it in the biology class. The worst part was not in cutting it apart but, to pith it and that too, IF Chloroform (CHCl₃₎ or trichloromethane was  not available to anesthetize, then we used to stuff  a spoon full of  BABA ZARDA in the poor Toads mouth to create that anesthetic effect.

I wonder how many of you have done these dissections in high school or at College level? It is something that I will never forget. But, I was so good at it, that I used to help my friends who were scared to even touch it.  The cockroach and earthworm dissections were a joke but, toad’s were serious.

NOW, I am ready with my imaginary tools such as the scalpel, a pair of scissors, eyedropper and a pointer and lets lay the toad in a tray full of wax and pin it up first.  :-)  Oh poor toad, may be you are not just a toad, but a prince in disguise, may be you re waiting for a princess to come and suck the Baba Zarda outta your mouth?  No, no this is very cruel to do all this. Yes, I have done it when I was a student but, now my heart is soft and tender hence, I must change my mind, instead of dissection I must do some analysis.

The word analysis rings the bell and takes me back in to the Chemistry class and it reminds me of those experiments we used to do in the lab i.e., separation of a substance into its constituent elements to determine either their nature, the qualitative analysis or, their proportions — quantitative analysis. Perhaps wee will discuss the nature and leave the rest for the bloggers to go out of proportions and out pants, which some of them are good at it.

I am not sure if we do the quantitative and qualitative analysis or go for the simple mathematical analyis involving differential and integral calculus, sequences, and series and concerned with limits and convergence? To be very honest I hate calculus and higher mathematics, I am basically a 2+2=5 kinda person. And, that’s the reason I ended up in finance and banking. You may have noticed that I am good in addition and bad in subtraction or deduction.

In Mathematics, they say that,  “the method of proof in which a known truth is sought as a consequence of a series of deductions from that which is the thing to be proved.”  And, I don’t think I can prove anything substantial using any mathematical formula, especially which is not my domain.

So, to sum it up, I cannot dissect because its too cruel, I cannot analyse chemically or, mathematically ‘coz its too complicated so, do I have to deal logic with logic? I guess so. The Urdu expression, “Loha Lohay Ko kaat ta hai.”  But, the logic that Butt Sahab has ‘arted can only be caught with a fishing net.

Besides, I am not Aristotle to define logic as ‘a system of reasoning.’  Because, there is no reasoning here, this is just a “obiter dictum”. Jaisay Baadshah Salamat ka Farmaan Nazil hoa, “Hum nay Kaha ho jao, ho gaya!”  Its just like Butt’s Fairy God Mother with her magic wand has influence over ZAKs.

Its seems like ZAKs has no opinion of his own, he is easily convinced with magic words such as Abracadabra, Hocus Pocus, Shazam etc. Not only him but, the selectors also get complacent in team selection as long as one of their blue-eyed boy creeps into the squad. And, this is happening since ages. And, it is called cronyism in cricket and parchee ka wasta, telephone ka zore, Zardari ki pukaar all this have more weight in team selection rather than going by the merit.

In your comments you are more than welcome to not only choose your captain but, also your playing XI with reasoning and justification.

After this  irrelevant, boring, blabbering, braggadocio of mine which must be very hard for some pseudo-intellectuals to understand my dry sense of humour. Therefore, let me finish off this thread on a lighter note i.e., why someone can qualify to be a captain and —- not qualify to be a captain?

Q. Misbah, people are not happy with your tuk tuk style of batting and they are saying, you should not be leading the T20 team in the forthcoming world cup? In fact they say you should not be in the team.

A. Peepal who say this have not played cricket so they don’t have the right to comment! And that is ground reality.  P.E.R.I.O.D. After all Butt Sahab is still sporting me, he has V-yen and he must have seen some kwalty in me, right hai kay rang? And, I have to claim my Rayal-Tea with this Tuc Tuc Biscuit walay because they have copied my name without my permission.

Q. Shoaib Malik, there is a big rumour that you will be made captain of the Pakistan T20 team, do you have to say anything about it?

A. You see my middle name is rumour, people have created so many rumours about me in the past, even in my personal life they have interfered and mujhe unhon nay ‘baal boy’ tak kaha. Laikin, but I told them give me a chance and I will prove. And, I proved it in FBT20 that I am the best all-rounder and best captain of the domestic team and domestic tournaments. Internationally tou sab he fail hotay hain kon fail nai hoa? Aur insaan agar ghar may accha hota hai tou bahar bhee acha hee hota hai. Ask my wife I am very good at home. So, the choice is obvious — no one is better than me! This is called self-proclamation.

Q.  Shahid Afridi, You are looking very tired today, what is the matter? Are you injured? Or, are you not happy that they are not making you a captain of the Pakistani cricket team?

A.  Yar, I was doing Gym in for 2 hours and then Gym out for 2 hours. So, I am vary tired and also I am vary hungry. Hafeez, Gullay koi sabe, kayla, shayla hai? Nai, Shaid Bhai nai hai. OK gimme the ball, Khuch, Khuch, Khuch….. array, array, array????? Yar chup reho sabhi khaatay hain!

So, the real choice was very difficult, but the logical choice is very easy. The middle name creates rumour and the rumour does not have wings, but it still fly like the French says, it goes from mouth to mouth.