LEGSLIP

F I N A L L Y …

haha @ munir’s excitement!

Sweetie …

‘haha’ Yaa Phhir “Haa Hai” @ my excitment

There is no picture on this V-Talk 10 page

Where is Aamir Iqbal aka Abdul aka ‘Spining King’ these days ??

Munir, he & Javed kissed & made up & went on a vacation! LOL

Does anyone know where Javed is? I have some pressing questions for him. Have tried the email route but no reply.

Fanx
xox

Sweetie tum bhee Tuna Kin Tin pay tou guzara nahee ker rehi ho aaj kal? No LOL.

Sana khair tou hai? I am here, where else will I go ? Sweetie is creating rumours that I am on vacation. I will take a vacation and go off somewhere when she wants to be here in my city.

Javed, u know i hate seafood. hehe

Javed, u wont go any where when i’ll pay u a visit. muahaha

Quote (joke) of the Day …

In this form it is better to take it easy and have fun. It is like WWF.
Pakistan captain Younis Khan continues to campaign for fun in Twenty20

Javed, sent a reply to your mail – hope you can help kid! Have a good one whilst i top up my tan. Masalama.

kiddo I have replied to your email.

Salaam and hello to everyone. Hope all is well.

Khansahab- Don’t ask me how, but I ended up going to the cinema to watch Star Trek last week. Even though I vowed I would not :p

It was ok.

khansahab

Why would DRC enjoy “ghatya shayari” in Urdu? She’s doing a degree you know…

The only thing which kept me entertained was the Russian controller dude. He was funny.

If anything, I went in with an open mind and after all the reviews, I was expecting something rather spectacular. I remember the programme from my childhood, and that had more substance than this film. All that glitters is not gold; just because this film was a multi-million dollar production, with good effects, gloss and gadgets does not make it a good film. It has to have substance too. So if anything, I was expecting the film to deliver more but this did not happen.

Wah, kya baat hai. Ghatya shayaru:D thanks for the warning!

Awas…I have done it now and I am unemployed for the time being, so I might as well ‘enjoy’ the ghatya shayari

DRC

welcome back KURI PUNJABAN

I thought you ran away with Rani Abdul Mukerjee

Hey DRC, how are u?

Javed, where’s Theo?

Sweetie kharboozay ko dekh ker kharbooza rang pakarta,
DRC ko dekh ker tum bhee chupke say nikal ayeen

I think Theo has gone after abdul

Wow Aaj Tu Saaray Puraanay Paapi Majood Hain

BTW, where is Theo ??

Welcome back DRC, how were the exams ?

Javed Khan, you said, “I think Theo has gone after abdul”

So is this why Theo used to praise Abdul adn rub him the right way ??

BTW, we are missing Abdul’s expert comments on the latest cricket games

U da Kharbooza!
& i thought it was you who went after/ with Abdul. hehehe

Sweetie, me an Akhroat not a kharbooza.
Btw, I am as straight as a Jalebi.

lol.. i get the pic @ straight!! haha

You got the picture or the Jalebi?

No Javed, she got the picture ‘OF THE’ Jalebi

South Africa exposed by Indian spinners, Pakistan especially Younus Khan should note this. Younus Khan should try Fawad Alam too, because the South Africans couldn’t score even against the likes of Suresh Raina and Rohit Sharma who are not even their regular spinners. May be it is the wicket that helped but, South Africa has a tendency to choke in big matches especially their batting.

Pakistan if they win the toss must bat first and score at least 160 runs and then apply the pressure. If Pakistan bats second it will not be the same because South Africans bowl well and also field well.

Javed

:p What ever gave you the impression I had ran away with Abdul? I have not totally gone mad yet.

Sweetie

I am fine alhamdulilah. How are you?

Munir

Exams went ok. I think I get my results in a few weeks. Not looking forward to that.
How are you?

Where is Maulana Theo? I need his expert advice :p

DRC

You need not to say anything, because I already know what advice you’re seeking, it’s about hunting and fishing, right? Ok, for Deer hunting you need either 0.22 caliber or 30-30 rifle. You aim at the critical organs located just over front legs. Take a sharp knife with you and clean out the intestines at the spot so you can drag the now light weighed Deer to your truck. Chop the head off and precisely cut the skull to keep the points (if it’s a buck) as a trophy. Take a lot of small towels to clean the blood. I hope that will help. I’ll give you fishing advice some other time.

Sweetie and Munir

Ishq-e-Natalie aor Meagan Fox mien aise dobe hien janab
Hum ko khabar he nahin upni ke kahan hum rehte hien
Julne wale humien akhroat kaha kerte hien

Khansahab

Thanks for the Meagan Foxd link, that’s great news for love and World peace. You know I think Meagan tries to copy Angelina Jolie. She wants to be the next her but except for her sheer beauty she doesn’t have much talent. She should definitely date Angelina to learn some skills from her. Can’t wait for June 26 Transformers 2 opening show to critically analyze all of Meagan Fox’s physical features.

Meagan thee woh keh Nagan thee woh
Dus gai mujh ko upni aankhon se jo
Mien ne poocha dinner per chalogee?
Han kaha usne aor I am agree howee woh
Laiken eik shurt hai boli mujh se woh
Dump kerna padega Natalie ko subho
Mien ne kaha keh Natalie ko bhe invite kero

OK DRC, I take back my words, but I would like to rephrase it “Theo ran away with Rani Abdul Mukerjee” Howzzz Daat?

LOL theossa, Natalie aur Meagan kay chukkar may tum nay Rani Abdul Mukerjee ko dump ker diya! Zulam hai Zulam.

Javed

You know, it’s not nice to fuse Abdul and Rani Mukhar Jee together. Do you think Abdul is Do Dhud Wala Buchcha?

Theossa

Nai, Ek Dhud Wala Buchee !

Javed

Tum ne Abdul ke mohabbat Rani Mukharjee ka atmaan kiya
Us per usse phir eik dhud wale bucche keh ker badnaam kia
Abdul tum kis baat se durte ho jub Rani se pyaar kerte ho
Aajawo V-Talk 10 per uggar tum mujh se I am agree kerte ho

lol … Theo, how do u come up with this ‘Looney tuney’ shaiyiri ?

Sweetie

One Canadian dollar coin is called Looney (that’s because of the duck on that coin)
Two Canadian dollar coin is called Tuney (that’s because it is two and rhymes with looney)

Last time when Theo came to Canada he collected a lot of Loonies and tunies in a Mushaira competition.

Some people are PK Tun
Some people are Tuna Kha kay Tun

That is how the shayers say “Aatay hain peechay say mazameen meray aagay.”
Peechay hai Meagan uskay aur Natalie uskay aagay.

Sweetie

I thought you could see the intellectual depth and the emotions flowing like a river during flood in the poetry I and ur BF Khanshab has been posting. I consider poetry to be an outlet to let go the hidden suppressive emotions and feelings. When the moon is full and soul is empty these thoughts fill my heart with joy and sadness. It’s deep baby.

Javed

Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup, the improbable task
The Gods of Ice Hockey the mighty Canadiens did not

No, I’m not PK tun or na kha ke Tun, I smoke optimum to get tun.

OR

Some pretty eyes, my addiction make me tun.
Mir en neem baaz aankhon mien sare musti sharab ke se hai

Javed:D

Much better!

Theo

:p

No. Believe it or not, I did not want to know that but nevermind

Javed, it’s Loonie & Toonie. Looney tunes however, is a cartoon series. lol

Theo, i can see ure jazbaat flowing ( & BFs too) but i don’t get it sometimes. I told u im not good with shair shairi…

Sweetie tum cartoon dekhti ho mai paisay say khelta hoon that’s the difference

Sweetie

Javed Bunya paison se khelta hai aor farigh waqt mien upne T***e tolta hai

Theo tum jaltay ho, paisay say aur Mehbooba dono say! And, on tolna it takes one to know one. Do you place them on Avery Scale?

Ps

Such poocho tou meri nazar humesha saamnay hoti hai, neechay tou mai dekhta hee nahee!

Javed

@ Do you place them on Avery Scale?

No, I have a Bunya to do that for me

At Theo tum jaltay ho, paisay say aur Mehbooba dono say!

Not paisay se, because I’m doing very well and I just don’t boost about it but Mehbooba se, yes, let me meet her just once and she’ll be here in Pittsburgh making desi ghee parathay for me

At Such poocho tou meri nazar humesha saamnay hoti hai, neechay tou mai dekhta hee nahee!
Why? Are your kapoore located on your face, Ball Chino! LOL.

HAHAHA LMAO!!

LMAO……. that’s because you don’t have TxttxS

Javed, plz spell correctly, i cannot read between Xs lol

Sweetie in Latin there is a saying (forget about the spelling) Nemo Dat Quad Habit. It means no man can give what he has not got. In your case you don’t have that and that is why you were slightly handicapped I won’t spell it out more clearly and explicitly because its not nice.

Javed, whats the point of saying something (pointed towards me or about me), which i don’t get?

Sweetie

Which part of Javed would you kick to make him bow to you? Yeah that’s the one Javed is talking about

In case ure talkin about my butt, hmm what can i say.. u wouldn’t know about them, now would u?

Oh i get u now Javed. I wouldn’t call it a handicap. I was just blessed/ substituted with something u men go NUTS over!! hahaha

Sweetie

That’s wicked!!!

Leme remind you what Christ once said:

“Blessed” are those who have not seen and yet believe

Lol @ Theo!

Awas.. u know me.. Wicked Witch of the West!! =)

Awas, it depends on whats there to see lol & they also say ‘ Seeing is believing’. hehe

Sweetie

You better ask Christ that…you “un-believing” heathen, you sure will burn in hell along with that anti-Christ Theo.

I’m with Jumma Din here

Sweetie

LOL, true, but I would rather not comment further. Let Javed come up with something about his little peanuts

Awas, if Theo will be in hell with me, i know i’ll have good company & i’ll be lmao! hehe
U however, will be with Javed… hmmm hmmm …..

Awas

Haven sounds boring as we’ll have women like Mother Teresa there. On the other hand hell will have women like Meagan Fox and Natalie Portman. I would rather get roasted and date the said ladies compared to hanging out with the ones I don’t feel any physical attraction towards. Would you make out with someone like Mother Teresa?

haha Theo, ure as wicked as i am! ahhh HUG**

Sweetie

Mentioning Javed going to haven, you gave me another reason not to go there. Just imagine him and all those mullahs making the life miserable there. Yeah, you are welcome to join me in hell, you’ll date guys like Baldwin

Theo, im sure some Bhudda khoosaat wouldn’t mind Mother Teresa lol…

Theo you got to see your optometrist Man, from which side do I look like a Mullah? If all Mullahs look like me then this world would be full of handsome men and, LOL @ Mota Bald – win.

Sweetie I can bet that no Mullah, no real man would like to go after that sucked out mango or sookha khajoor faced called, Teressa. Btw, Mullahs prefer choozay!

lol @ Mullahs.. Lucky for Abdul there aren’t any here..haha

Sweetie …

So you think Abdul is a ‘Chooza’ ?

Munir, “vo kabhee chooza aur kabhee choozi” just like a convertible cabriolet

Chooza Ho Ya Choozi, Hum Ko Tu nicely cooked roast chicken Sey Mutlab Hai

Munir, if by ‘chooza’ Javed meant a kid, then yes that’s what i had meant too. He’s a teenage chooza (no offense Abdul). hehe

Sweetie

Tum itni Bho…………….. Lee buchi kab say bun gayee ho?

Ps

Aur yae tumharay naam kay sath jo “Katariyaan” hain na….¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ yae sab bata tee hain kay what are you up to?

Javed, if u did mean something else, then plz enlighten me, cuz i for sure did not get u.

Mere naam k saath kia? What the hell is ‘ katariyaan’? & what do they tell u about me? U might as well make me aware of it too lol

Who is “Abdul” ?

Aamir Iqbal, abdul is a transoo aka, Rani Abdul Mukerjee, he has stopped coming to this blog now. Good Riddance.

LOL @ “Katariyaan”

Aoa, sorry to paste economic news on a non-political page. Worth reading. If total debt is $119.9 billion and GDP is $170 billion. Then total outstanding debt rises to 70% of total GDP and not 57.6% as mentioned in DAWN news. Best Regards!

“PAKISTAN LOCKED IN DEBT CYCLE: ECONOMIC SURVEY”

http://www.dawnnews.net/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/news/business/11-pakistan-locked-in-debt-cycle–economic-survey–il–04

* The budget documents and the figures available in Economic Survey of Pakistan for 2008-09, revealed that Pakistan has now trapped into vicious circle of debt repayments as debt liabilities have been exceeding the estimates of total foreign receipts.

* the government is raising debt to pay debt…

* Interestingly, the IMF first loan tranche of $3.1 billion and during the same timeframe, the government has paid $3.65 billion on account of debt repayments; $550 million more than the IMF loan.

* The total outstanding debt is therefore $119.9 billion dollars; roughly 57.6 per cent of the total Gross Domestic Product (GDP).

* Keeping in view these statistics, Pakistani citizens per head debt is about 55.2 per cent of the per capita Gross National Income (GNI).

* With total population of 165 million, each Pakistani at end March 2009 owed about $591 in public debt (domestic and external debt).

hiii abdul howz u i knew ur a gud guy nd avery gud cricketer whom do u think shud win today?

hi abdul hes ma classmate a claasss cricketer nd a fantastic bowler hees d captain !!!

he gave me dis link nd i thank him soo much

Ladies & Gentlemen …

Go to ‘Cricket Page’ and Cheer your Team

No it’s not! loll

Congrats to all of you!

Sweetie

…this has filled my heart with joy and…

Sweetie …

Yes, it is

Congrats to YOU TOO

And?? plz make my day! lol

Khansahab

@

Haseena ki pyaas meray mann sey naa nikli…
Reject kar diya mujhe aur bol diya, “I am disagree”

Abbe yeh Haseena thee ya keh Coke ke bottle jo tukhe us ke pyaas lug rahe thee?

Jawabun urz hai:

Haseena ke chehre per uggar nazur hotte aor gurden se neeche nahin
To who kehte tujh se, “I am gree” aor “I am disagree nahin”

BhengeeGurl

Walaikum salam kaise ho?

I am liking Abdul, he is ma favorite kid on LS, I know hes a class player and a intelligent blogger. Thank u sooo much 4 commenting, u did good.

LOL theossa

You bet bingagurl wouldn’t know what Bhengee means? But, you are right the way she admires abdul she must be bhengee.

Oh, btw where is abdul? The other day our new blogger Aamir Iqbal was also asking who is abdul? And, I said, he is a transoo aka, Rani Abdul Mukerjee and left the blog, so good riddance. But, even then abdul did not respond. My bad why did I say that?

Javed

Abdul ke hazaar roop aor behroop hien, like that Mystic girl in the X Men movie who can shift shapes. Aamir Iqbal shaid Abdul ka judwaan buchcha hai muggar es baat se anjaan hai kionkeh wo nadaan hai. But it doesn’t change a thing that we all miss Abdul and his ocean deep analyses of cricket matters.

Ok, just in case BingaGurl doesn’t understand bhengee eyes, I will explain to her that it’s a compliment which means eyes that are very focused. Since she is Abdul’s friend, she must be a cutie as well.

khansahab

LOL at this funny “ghatya shayari”…

It definitely brings out Mirza Ghalib in you

Nice Joke …

Dhoni to his Mom: Maan Aaj Aap Ne Mujhe Plate (Saucer) Mein Chaai Kyun Dee Hai ?

Mom: Kyunke Beta Cup Tu Tumhaaray ‘Baap’ Le Gaye Hain

BF & Theo, u guys need to quit shairi. Else u both will be leading a life of celibacy, like Awas!! lol

Khansahab

@

Haseena ney iss dill ko tora aur apna moo mora
Akhir kyun zulm kiya, yeh insaaf sahi?
Hum ney uss sey kaha, I am agree ko socho
Uss key bola, tera dill hai ashiq, koi sheesha nahi…

Bohut khoob Khansahab bohut khoob, aap ne kia upne juzbaat ke turjumani ke hai. Dunya walon (Awas) ke baton mien na aawo aor haal-e-dil ka izhaar kero. Mien bhe bohut dukkhee hon aor tumhare durd ko samujhtha hon.

Mien jawabun irshaad kerta hon aor tumhien upne dukh bhare daastan sonata hon:

Woh boli romantic dinner per chulte hien, tum se Theossa humien mohabbat hai
Hum ne bola os Haseena se, Bass Fish spawning is expected, fishing ka mosam hai
Naraaz howe woh mujh se baghair kisse wujha ke, wah re kia dewaangi ka alam hai
Dost se phone per kaha hum ne, humara dil udaas howa, aajawo cigarette phoonkte hien
Ub batawo Khansahab, Javed, Awas, aor Munir, kia huq tha us haseena ko, hum yeh poochte hien
Agar hum fishing per chale jaate to kia qayamat aajaate? Kia Bass spawning her roz kerte hien?

Sweetie

Kuch tau rehum karo…I never caught a fish like Theo does. He is now teaching BF some tricks of the trade.

Sweetie

Tum en durd bhare dil ke jazbaat aor aanso bhare Shaiyre ko kya sumjho gee kionkeh tumhara dil to Patthar ka hai.

Hum ko un se wafa ke hai ummeed, Jo nahin jaante wafa kia hai
Sweetie to baatien bohut kerte hai, aor nahin jaante cooking kia hai

Awas, then u need to become an apprentice! lol

Reham? Mein kiun reham karon?? Mujhe kia miley ga? hehe

Sweetie

“Mujhe kia miley ga?”

Nunnery!

Nah Awas, Nunnery isn’t for me!! U, however should be singing..

You consider me the young apprentice
Caught between Theo & BF
Hypnotized by you if I should linger
Staring at the ring around ure finger

I have only come here seeking knowledge
Things they would not teach me of in college
I can see the destiny you sold
Turned into a shining band of gold

I’ll be wrapped around yre finger
I’ll be wrapped around ure finger

LOL

Theo k bachay! No paey, nihari ,haleem waghaira for u!! hehe

Sweetie you are here to seek knowledge?

My bad, your teachers are Theo, Awas, your BF and moi? I am a very bad influence on many, so exclude me from that list. Remember Rani Abdul Mukerjee is an example of a would be runaway bride! Even Aamir Iqbal was asking who is bul bul and what happened to her/him/it/whatever?

Javed, read again what i said!

Sweetie, haan haan jaisay tum roze hee usay Paey, nihari, haleem khilati ho? Tuna kay tin kay dubbon say uss nay Naher wala pull bana ker Maeghan kay ghar ka raasta par kiya. He is not going to fall for your fishful nihari, haleem and foundations.

And, btw Munir keeps wondering kay Sweetie ka tou sirf ek buccha thaa yae doosra theo ka kahan say aagaya?

Javed, foundations? of? Roz kon baywaqoof paey aur nihari banata hai? lol

foundations = Paye
Language = Zubaan

Paye also known as Luttaan.

Roz sirf baywaqoof hee banatay hain laikin roz khanay walay ‘aqalband’ log hotay hain !

BM, ure eye sight seems to get weaker by the day. I said Theo k bachay, NOT Theo mere bachay! haha

Sweetie meri aqal tou lakdi ki hai 100 baar bhee parhoon tou samajh na aye!

BB – go aankh may jumbish nahee
hathaon may tou damm hai

Seriously Javed, get it checked. Im talkin about ure EYE sight not ure Insight! LOL

Javed

@
He is not going to fall for your fishful nihari, haleem and foundations

I think if I was single I would definitely hit on Sweetie, pretty eyes and skills to cook paey, nihari, and Hallem, what more can I ask for? On the other hand if you were a chick I would hit on you too, poetic, smart, and excellent cooking skills

Sweetie last time optometrist say aankh check ker waiyee thee ….. uss nay meri aankhaon may aankhain daal ker dekha aur chukra kay girr gayee….. you wanna try? I am serious too!

No thanks, it wont work on me. Was she Paro? lol

lol @ Theo hahahaha

Theo tumharay haan “ch” sounds like “D” ?

In that case you won’t be disappointed in getting one!

I never new that ParoNoiya still haunts you! Btw, she wants me to visit Isb now, since she moved from Dubai ‘coz of ARY.

Well Theo got something he wanted. Aren’t you happy?

Sweetie, it will work on you for sure TRUST IN ME…….. remember that song from Jungle Book by “KA” ? I can mesmerize and hypnotize without looking into your eyes!

Shudders *** ewww It’s Paro PHOBIA ! Good luck with her.. ishhhh lol

Javed

You got a D**k? You seem more like a guy with peanuts and a nunnah munnah sa bhindi, LOL. In anycaes I don’t need one as I got my own, but you can bend backwards to get it where it belong s

LOL, Javed, trust me, if any thing u’ll be sittin there singin, ‘ soocha tha kia , kia hogaya.. kia hogaya. dhoondho mujhey mein kahin koh gaya…’ LOL

You see, you still copy her isssshhhh

Once I told her its not isssshhhh but, Pissshhhhhhh and you know what happened?
guess!!!!

Theo

It took sometime for you to reply by using your walnut brains and I never knew that you liked that bhindi so much that it reminds you till date. Never mind the only thing men boast about smaller things is their cell phone.

No i am NOT copying her. Im tryin to talk u out of goin to ISL after her, by saying ishhh & NO i don’t wanna know! lol

Sweetie, you know that I “dona dona lyke” cheap indian songs. That is why I never appreciated that isssssssh.

ahhh Javed. I always thought that’s what u fell for! haha

You may not agree but, the truth is she haunts you. That’s ‘coz she took that Teddy Bear from you called Bhaloo.

Theo

Tum kya field trip per chalay gaye without LOTA?

Don’t give me a akhroaty reply. Say something more decent

Naah Sweetie ‘NayWar’ that’s why it was JaanWar

Javed

Aor bhe ghum hien zamane mien tujh se ulfat ke sewa

Yuck @ Bhaloo. She don’t haunt me, i just couldn’t stand her ishhhing ! lol

LOL Theossa

Are you talking to Natalie in your dreams or is this just a hallucination at work? Or, a field trip without a lota?

Aur bhee Dukh hai zamanay may Natalie kay siva
Khaanay aur bhee hain zindagi may Tuna kay Tin kay siva
Mujh say pehli si fish, meri Meagan na maang

Sweetie, even Theo, khansahab and Awas have seen her photo and they all like her in fact khansahab has gone ga ga over her “seskiness” Vaisay mujhay bhee vo itni buri nahee lagti, I wonder why you feel so jealous about her?

Yuck @ Bhaloo?

Array kitna “endsome” hai sala, dekho check ka coat, stripe ki tie, gold ka chasma, balon may jail, (gel) laga kay kaisa hero ka mafiq pose maarta? He sent me that photo he sent it to you. LOL ek dum pukka vo bhee KharaDar ka Memon lagta….. Bus moonh may Paan ki Gilori nai nazar ayee uskay! That is why you liked him?

Javed

I was talking about yours and mine century old ulfat on V-Talk page. Like Munir said once, “Pyar bhare do sharmeele dost”.

Murta kia na kerta, too Ishhh ko na miss kerta
Score kerdeta jo, to aaj yon aanhien na bhurta

Theo

Oui, vous avez une raison!

hum tou teray aashiq hain sadiyoun puranay
Chaahay tu maanay chahay na maanay

Aakhir ko dou Bay Sharam Pathan jo thairay!
Ek Afridi Ek Shinwari.

miss kernay ki baat hee nahee hai yara
There is an open invitation even till today!

Koi Isshh ko chahe to ki Bhaloo ko chaahe
Theossa Meagan ko nahin to Aaloo ke chaahe?

Who told u i liked him? U do know i don’t like short bald men! & ure the one whos raving about his looks? lol

Paro… ahhh i never said she was ugly. lol She was just a prick, tats all! haha

Theo Khaloo ko Aloo kha ker Aloocinations aa rehay hain
Wo bhee Din Daharay! Kabhee Meagan kay tou Kabhee Natalie kay

Invitation per jaane ka too soch bhee mut
Bhabhee se chapair pade ge she’ll go nuts

I would have stayed away if she was a prick……….. in fact she has beauty that is deep down! And even on surface she is sesky!

Theo

Do you think I am as akhroat as you are, that I would tell her everything like you blab out about Natalie and Meagan? I will tell her that I am going to meet her Dad. Don’t ever try to act like an Indian hero and tell everything about your affairs to your bitter half.

“He who keeps his secrets controls his affairs.” Omer Ibne Khattab.

Too muray ga eik din Ishhh ke chukker mien
Herpes lagee gee tujh ko, barsat ke mosam mien

&

Hum ko maloom hai Meagan ke haqiqat laiken
Dil se kia kahon, khaloo ka aaloo uchcha hai?

Tujh se yeh kis ne kaha keh mien upne zoja ko dil ka haal batata hon?
Mien koi pagal hon ya suicidal hon jo upna kia karam kerwata hon?

Abne Theossa

Theo

Paro is not Natalie or Meagan she is a different piece yar. May be you get her piece from them, I learned my lessons from a Sardarji (I hope you know that joke, why a sardar cannot catch sti?) Take care, I gotta do work now.

Dil se kia kahon, khaloo ka aaloo uchcha hai?

Theo

Iss Bokhara kay Aaloo ka ab Murrabba bana lay
Bottle may daal ker ek label bhee laga lay
Theo ka Murrabba hai ya Aaloo Bukharay ki chutney hai
Ander say kuch hai aur baher say kuch hai

Under se ho mien uchcha, bahir so hon mien suchcha
Chul kaam kerle dhung se, Javed too hai buchcha

Happy Lunch, Long Live Tuna!

Awas, are you still singing ( the song above)? haha

Sweetie

You are not trying to lure me into something…..are you?

**squints**

No, i am not, but the question still remains…. are u still singing? lol

Awas, I do not lure ppl. Im the Wicked Witch of the West, i cast spells !! lol

What kinda spells…are you up to something??

Why Awas? U feeling something? hahaha

Sweetie

Yeah, only heartache from a spell from the last one.

That was a CURSE, not a spell LOLL

Farrah Fawcett passes away. She had too many teeth in her mouth which she left behind. She was only 62, died of cancer. Sixty two is not old these days since the average age is mid-seventies to eighties in most developed countries. But, it is better to die young rather than dying when you are too old and frail and living at the mercy of others.

Another notable loss…Michael Jackson.

An icon for many worldwide and a household name. In recent years he has been dogged by allegations and problems in his personal life, yet nothing could touch the phenomenon he was. His music was uncomparable. His style was second to none and may tried to copy him. His moonwalk dance kept me and my cousins and siblings entertained for hours. We tried to emulate it and had much fun. I guess he was a legend of his time and his music will always be remembered.

May he rest in peace.

I know thousands of people die each day but it is shocking.

Same with Farrah. Her struggle with cancer was awful and hope she can rest in peace now.

DRC

Yeah, millions of people die but the rich and famous death appears more shocking. Anyways, Michael Jackson was young to die at 50 is really a shame. He had a massive heart attack. Who says only FAT people die of cardiac arrest?

How are you? LTNS………. busy busy???

RIP Michael Jackson!

Some of his close friends reckon he died from stress related problems.

There were two sides to his personality. One was his music and dancing which was incomparable as DRC mentioned. However, on the hand he was also associated with controversial scandal issues such as child assaulting. Consequently, he did spend time in custody.

But today is a time of dedication to the world’s most famous singer.

abdul

it is not “assaulting” it is abuse or, abusing. Laikin bucchay tum ab na ghabrao kion kay Theo hai na.

Just a Thought …

It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others …

What’s more important is that you should be able to forgive yourself too.

Khansahab

Subhanullha Khansahab, bohut khoob, bohut khoob. Baja irshaad furmaya hai.

Os ne kaha ye hum se, “Sweetheart, movie per chulte hien”
Mien ne kaha “I am agree”, Transformers 2 dekhte hien
Who jul ker boli, “Meagan Fox ke ilawa bhe tumhara koi kaam hai?”
Mien kaha Sanam Jee Theossa bila wukha he budnaam hai

Munir

Ubbe too kia kerta raha hai keh logon se bhe mafian maang raha hai aor khud se bhe maafi maang raha hai? Too ne Turkey ke hamam mien koi tamasha to nahin kia?

Husband: Agar meray haath may hukumat ho tou mai Mulk ki taqdeer badal doon.

Wife: Pehlay jaa ker apni patloon badlo jo subha say ulti pehni hui ho.

A tiger and a tigress were lying under a tree and a dog came and started pestering them. The tigress was getting worked up, she growled a few times, but the dog was persistent, kept on hurling abuses at the tigress and she got fed up and charged at him. The dog ran and the tigress chased him. The dog ran a distance and then he went through a very tight tunnel, the tigress followed the dog and got stuck in the tunnel. The dog came from behind and screwed her.

After a while the tigress somehow managed to pull herself back and came back to the tiger and complained to him by saying: “what kinda King of the jungle you are that you couldn’t protect me from a dog?” The tiger looked at her and said:

Acha tou tum Murwa ayeen?

The tigress was a bit shocked and asked, “How do you know that?” The tiger replied:

Subha say 4 baar lay chuka hai sala meri.

LOL, what can I say, cheap but funny jokes.
Here is some more battle of sexes.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Theo

This is not a joke but a real incident. Its been raining for 3 days and a desi couple walks out of their car from the parking lot they went into the Mall. There were puddles in the car park and the lady pulled her shalwar a little up to prevent it from getting the “payenchas” wet.

When they came inside the mall, the husband told the wife:

Tusi Shalwar Thullay Ker lo

She asked: “ithhayee?”

The husband was a paindoo but, she had a good sense of humour.

LOL, O Paijaan tussee kithon ae jokes kud ke lande o? Aor Awas aajkul kitthe rolla panda honda ae? Omer ne te ajkul LS te khup pae howe ae, tusse te Khanshab udhe naal nimto

I told you its not a joke, it actually happened, I was behind them and I couldn’t stop laughing and the reason I said, the husband was paindoo because he was looking at me with his paindooish looks and wondering whats so funny? Whereas, the wife was smart, good looking and she smiled and winked.

Btw, Omer is not a logical person. According to Sweetie, he is a JHAKKI and I don’t disagree with her.

Ps.

Awas is ghumGeen these days, hence I wrote those jokes for him to cheer up!

LOL @ Javed Kay Jokes.

LOL @ Theo Di Punjabi.

Where are the ‘Kuriyaan’, Bala Diyan Puryaan ?

Javed and Theossa

Thank you for trying to cheer me up with some jokes but Theo they are more reality than jokes…come on. They are nothing like “ghatya shayari”.

Yeah, I’m almost “ghumGeen” and wish I was lost forever. I can only repeat these apt words of someone “Pain that still exists, but has no power to hurt”.

Munir, the kurees are still here… just look around! hehehe

Awas, wrapped around my finger & still ghumgheen & wanna be lost?? hehehe

Sweetie

I feel funny when you smile and bat your eyelashes to utter such words ^^;

Let the Buddha go after his Nirvana )

*Blush**
& his Nirvana would be? hehe

ummmm….pass

lol

What can i say….

Sweetie

Awas’s nirvana would be a “Pichchal Peri” from Mughrib. My guess is as good as yours but I heard from some munjhe howe, ghisse howe, aor pitte howe wise men like Javed that she will cast spell on Awas using her eyes, sweet talk, and smile to suck the remaining soul out of him

Awas

Nice move playa

Tere zindagi mien yonh to kai ghum aayenge
Jub Sweetie muskuraige to ghum bhaag jainge

LOL @ Theo… Poor awas though!!

Tere zindagi mien yonh to kai ghum aayenge
Jub Sweetie muskuraige to ghum bhaag jainge

Theo

Bhagoray hee bhaag tay hain, Awas is like a Sher who would stand firm on his ground and will face it.

Ranj say khoo gar ho insaan tou mitt jaata hai ghum
Mushkilain mujh pay pareen itni kay aasaan ho gayeen.

Aur thanks for saying: “munjhe howe, ghisse howe, aor pitte howe wise men like Javed.”

Mai vazahat ker doon kay jis anvil pay mai ghissa kerta thaa vo Theo ka hee pichwara hai issy liyeh uska backyard itna manjha howa lagta hai.

Btw Nirvana is like that game of “snakes and ladders” isn’t it?

I was reading on the Internet that Natalie and Megan are going to open a Tantric Massage Parlour, Awas you should book it, that will make Theo feel good. only oooper oooper say he will smile.

Javed, Nirvana is the feeling of joy, or harmony.

Javed

I thought you asked to be decent on V-Talk page? I’ll let your “pechwara talk” go as “strike 2” but you know next time I reserve the right to hit back and then don’t come to me complaining like a little girl

sweetie

it means you are not sure hence you are saying OR

Nirvana hai kya? can you explain?

Not sure? it can be used in either sense is what i meant.
Nirvana is the state of supreme happiness, joy & peace.

Buddhism The ineffable ultimate in which one has attained disinterested wisdom and compassion.(from the dictionary).
Now u get it wise man? lol

Theossa

pichwara = backyard whereas, you often use profanity in your comments and you were informed to refrain from using profanity. As regards rona dhona its just your imagination or you are referring to Rani Mukerjee? Anyways my comments were in response to your ghissa pitta and manjha howa comments.

Javed

I know what “pechwara = backyard” is and I know what “munjha howa, ghissa howa” means. Let reader be the judge. I do not often use profanity as you claimed and if I felt I did then you know I did apologize. Don’t make double standards what you can write others can’t.

Sweetie

I knew you would run to wiki.

Without referring to the wiki or the mother of all the wiki’s, I will tell you what I heard from one of my colleagues when I was working for a bank. Every organization has some kinda corporate bullshit philosophy and they try to exploit their employees by preaching those so called words of wisdom and using some buzz words in it. Hence one guy tried to equate the ethos of the organization by narrating what Nirwana is.

He said, the Nirvana is like a few circles and imagine you are in the outer circle and in this life when you do something good you are promoted to the next circle and you are a better human being and then you do better in the next life, you get promoted and so on till you reach the inner most circle and then you become an AVATAR or an Angel. However, if you do something BAD in the second last circle you go back to Zero. You are even demoted from a human to a dog or, an ass or may be a pig.

So, after listening to that crap from him, I said, this seems like a game of snakes and ladders to me. And, I am not trying to ridicule any religion but that is how I felt like saying. Even when our Mullah’s say at the sermons that God will burn us in hell fire for 70,000 times. I asked him ‘do you think God has nothing else to do but BBQ each human 70,000 times imagine there will be a 100 billion humans by the time the Day of Judgment is and 99.99999 billion will be in Hell.

So, where is the supreme happiness, peace and joy?

Javed, i did not have to look at wiki. The part which i took from the dictionary, i DID put in brackets!
Niravana was a band too. (just so you know)

Javed, it lies with in ureself, just try lookin for it.

“…till you reach the inner most circle…”

Humm that’s what I seek.

I’m glad Javed and Sweetie are getting enlightened too whilst discussing Nirvana and I guess Sweetie has already found it within herself.

Awas, U’re still seeking? ???:
& how do u know i’ve found it?

Awas, lemme first get rid of the HELL with in myself, Nirvana.. ahhhh i wish…

Sweetie

“…get rid of the HELL…”

Do u need any help?

you just do what Theo suggested…it could do wonders

Hmm was that suggestion for me or some ‘pichal pae’?

Sweetie

There was nothing “suggestive” about anything I said…just a sound advice.

aha! Are u hinting toward something? hehehe

Sweetie what makes you think that I don’t know Nirvana is a band. I do.

And, I really don’t need to know more about Nirvana or ying and yan or tai chi or fung shui or, yoga or any such stuff because I already know a lot about these things and its all crap.

Btw, there was a photo of a Chinese girl in news papers last year that she is a pichal pae and she walks faster than normal ‘pae’s’ Another case of deformity!

So, are you all clear now on what ‘Marwana’ … Oops I mean ‘Nirvana’ is ?

Munir, yeah we are, but i got a question for u. Does ure last name, by any chance start with an A?

LOL @ “A”

Tum Log Sotay Kab So Yaar ?

Are you serious on that last name with an ‘A’ ?

So = Ho

Munir

Hum nahin sotay.

Sleep is for those who have no ghum-fikar and who get loved.

LOL @ Awas …

I have been noticing you being dramatizing this ‘Ghum’ thing and all others joining in consoling you on this.

What is this man, show some stand-up-and-fight-for-your-right attitude and remember Chacha Ghalib, when he said:

Tu Nahin Aur Sahi, Aur Nahin Aur Sahi …

And that ‘Aur Sahi’ can continue endlessly till you get what you want.

Take a heed from Khansahab and Omer !!

Munir, i was serious about ‘A’ the initial of ure last name, & no, it’s not a cuss word!!

And, she also wants to know if the last name ends with E ?

Testing bowels Sweetie? ooops I mean vowels

Javed, that last name cannot end with E, just a D.

Don’t worry Sweetie, I am not your “Muneer” and it ok

Good Morning Lalay ….

What’s for Naashta today ?

Munir

In endless love, ‘Aur Sahi’ can never continue.

U are a bad influence on khansahab & Omer

Me and bad inflence ??

I look at Omer for inspiration

Munir, even if u were, i wouldn’t give a damn, but i just thought it ‘d be such a coincidence

Munir, i can tell u what Javed is or has had for breakfast. Mehbooba k parathay, eggs & tea lol

Sweetie …

You can’t be so lucky twice

Iss Ki Mehbooba Bhi Hai ?

Is she making the Parathaz for him ?

Munir, here’s the thing, Muneer thought he could get lucky THRICE!! LOL

Yeah he has a Mehbooba & she makes parathay for him!

Munir

Yae koi Theossa ki Khayali Pulao Natalie Meagan nahee, yae ek reality hai kay Mehbooba hai jo parathay banati hain. Jis kay liyeh Theossa asksar aanhain bhee bharta hai aur hasad bhee kerta hai. Jalnay walay jala kerain …………….. kismet hamaray sath hai.

Sweetie, ab tum nay “D” laga ker dead end ker diya! Is that a stopper or a dead end? Never mind.

Javed …

I like it when you often say, “Jalnay walay jala kerain …………….. kismet hamaray sath hai.

So her is ‘Kismat’ then ?

BTW, lucky are those who not only have a ‘Mehbooba’ but she also makes Parathaz for them, and I a, one of those lucky guys too … Al-Humdulillah.

Warna Bhook Say Mar Na Jaatay Hum

So her name is ‘Kismat’ then ?

No Munir, her name IS Mehbooba!! lol

Sweetie

That is her last name.

Munir

Sweetie doesn’t mind about Mehbooba but, when I mention the other name

Vo baat jis ka saaray fasaanay may zikr na thaa…………… Vo baat……. haan Vo naam, then sweetie gets cheesed off.

So her name is ‘Kismat’ then ? Munir

Nahee Munir Vo jo non-desi wali hai na, uska naam DESTINY hai.

Javed, whats the other name? Muneer?

Sweetie

It starts with P and ends with O

Ohhh ure LOVE Paro!! What ever made u think i gave a damn? lol

Vah Lux Kya Scene Hai.

khansahab aur Theossa mil ker Shayeri ki Maa Bahen ek ker rehay hain.

Smiles …

There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.

Mohallay Par Nazar hai?

Buddoo ki BV pay nazer daal nay say pehlay soch lo Munir:
There is only one perfect way to go home is through deportation.

LOL @ Javed’s comments.

Buddoo Ki BV Tu Kaali Hai, and yes you are so right about that ‘deportation’ Ki Talwaar, it is always hanging on expat’s head.

Khansahab

In the Desert of Solitude, my Heart lost Altitude and Longitude

dasht-e-tanhaai mein, ai jaan-e-jahaan, larzaan hain
In the desert of my solitude, oh love of my life, quiver
“I am agree” ke saaye,
“I am agree” of your voice,
Meagan ke honton ke saraab
the mirage of Meagan’s lips

dasht-e-tanhaai mein,
In the desert of my solitude,
duri ke khas-o-khaak tale
beneath the dust and ashes of distance
khil rahe hain tere pehlu se “I am agree” ke gulaab
bloom of the “I am agree” and roses of your proximity

uht rahi hai kahin qurbat se
From somewhere very close,
teri saans aor “I am agree” ki aanch
rises the warmth of your ‘I am agree” and breath
apani khushbuu mein sulagti hui
smoldering in its own aroma,
maddham maddham
slowly, bit by bit.

dur ufaq par chamakati hui
far away, across the horizon, glistens
qatra qatra
drop by drop
gir rahi hai teri dil daar nazar ki shabnam
the falling dew of your beguiling glance saying “I am agree”

is qadar pyaar se hai jaan-e jahaan rakkhaa hai
With such tenderness, Natalie and Meagan, O love of my life,
dil ke rukhsaar pe
on the cheek of my heart,
dhal gaya hijr ka din
the sun of separation has set
aa bhi gaye vasl ki raat
and the night of “I am agree” has arrived.

Theossa

Nice re-mix and translation that you have copied from some website, but you have screwed up the last verse by eating the important words and even lines isssi ko kehtay hain Shayeri ki maa bahen ek kerna.

The last two verses are like this, and the words that I have highlighted are missing in your comment:

Iss qadar pyaarr say, aye jaan-e-jahaan rekha hai
Dil kay rukhsaar pay teri yaaad nay hath
Youn gumaan hota hai garchay hai abhee subhay firaaq
Dhall gayaa hijr ka din aa bhee gayee vasl ki raat

In the Desert of Solitude, my Heart lost Altitude and Longitude … which is the bliss of Solitude, and then my heart with pleasure fills and dances with the Daffodils.

Javed

These damn Urdu Shaire websites can’t even write the poetry correct. What a shame, kia hogga upne des ka? I’m not the one to be blamed for missing rhymes I just modify the shaire to my feelings and emotions which I have in abundance. Muggar tum en baton ko kia sumjho ge, yeh ihsassaat to Theossa aor Khansahab jaise poets hee samujh sukte hien.

@

then my heart with pleasure fills and dances with the Daffodils

You got it Bro

dil dhoondhta hai phir wohi tunhai ke raat din
Bhete rahien fishing line ko lake mien cast ke

Khansahab

Subhannulahh, umman Khanshab kia khoob kaha hai, khaas toar per aap ne jo neeche ke shair mien takhallus farmaya hai, kia raqeeb aor kafia milayen hien!

@
Jahan par Haseenon ka ghosla, wahan par khushian ubhar ti hain

Jawabun urz ki hai

Ghonsla hogga khoob Khansahab ka, aor unde haseena dege
Javed uggar hasseenon ke paas aaya, dunde haseena dege

Btw yeh “paishish” kia hai?

Khansahab

Oh, Mian Khansahab ub hum sumjhe mutlub Paishish ka, bhala hum bhe kitne nadaan hien koeh esse some type of Paichesh samujh bhete. Yeh to aap ke zurra nawazi hai keh aap humien oocha shair tusswar kerte hien, Mian hum to aap ke shaire ke dildada hien. Bohut khoob furmaate hien aap.

Ub humare tukhayyal ka waqt howa jaat hai, yeh who waqt hai jub hum khoobsorat poetry ko create kerte hien. Aap se ijazat muqsood hai,

Aapka qadardaan

Yeh nacheez,

Theossa Pittsburgh Abaadi

BF, why don’t You Join them? LOL

Awas this is something for you:

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

Javed

Thanks!

Khansahab

Aap ne humien bila wujha shraminda kia, aap yeh sumjhe keh hum Hazrat KhanSahab Manchesterpoori jo durd ke awaaz, dukhon ke maron ke ointment, aashiqon ke sada, se waqif nahin? Humara dil mujrooh howa.

Mien soch raha hon keh kissi din Khansahab Manchesterpoori, Awas Ghumgeen, Javed Montreal Wala, Munir Ajmi, aor Sweetie Chudail ke durmian eik Mushaera rukkha jai.

Elm-u-adab ke es mehfil se Urdud Literature ko urooj naseeb hogga.

Urz kia hai:

I love you hogaya purana, yeh “I am agree” ka hai zamana
Playboy ke pages na chipkana, kul keliye bhe kuch bachana

Hum ub Pittsburgh ke nade kinare jaaker kuch shaer likhna chahte hien, es liy ijazat mutloob hai,

Yeh Nacheez

Theossa Pittsburgh Abaadi

Post 249 person – English please, or go back to your own country.

Laters,
BNP member.

Sana

That’s a nice way to invite khansahab to your home town. And, when a girl doesn’t mention the name of a person, (post person 249) that person means a lot to her. Bolo hai na?

Javed chuck – the dude has been living in my home town before i even moved back from London. Just trying to tell him he should integrate and learn to communicate in English, or get out

Sana,
BNP member.

What’s BNP ??

BNP = Bharatiya National Party

>>It is scary to see in a country like Britain, how much support they have.

Well they existed in the 60/70/80′s, just under different names such as Combat 18 and the National Front. KS, i take it you werent born and raised here, or are too young to remember, but being called a Paki left right and centre was normal language when i was growing up. Now it’s an offence under the Public Order Act 1986. Lol. Not even my teachers would intervene to break up the paki bashing at school.

How times change!

But the BNP have always existed and there have always been right/facist wings in the government – its just that now we get all “human rightsy” about it and think such groups have views that are an affront to our moral conscience, having no place in 21st Century politics.

They will always have a place….at least in my heart

Khansahab …

If BNP is anti-immigrant, how come they allowed membership to “Sana” ?

BTW, where are all the “Cheer-Girls” ??

Where are Theossa and Abdul aka Amir Iqbal ??

>>I wasn’t born here

No way? You dont say (!)

>>If BNP is anti-immigrant, how come they allowed membership to “Sana” ?

I’m the token paki, duh!

Thought for the day …

Knowing is Not Doing; Doing is Doing !!

Amazing India …

Frogs married in drought-hit Jharkhand to please rain gods

RANCHI – Beautiful invitation cards, a feast for nearly 500 guests, a car for the groom and chanting of Sanskrit verses — although all the usual customs were observed, this was an Indian wedding with a difference. Those tying the knot at the special event in Jharkhand’s Chatra district were frogs.

Desperate residents of Simeria block in the drought-hit district, about 190 km from here, organised a wedding of frogs Wednesday to appease the rain gods.

“We believe that the rain god is appeased by the marriage of frogs. Now that the ceremony has been performed, we hope that the district, which has been facing droughts for the last four years, will get good rainfall,” said Vinod Bihari, a priest who conducted the marriage ceremony.

Seva Ram, a farmer, “adopted” the female frog and performed the ritual of ‘kanyadan’.

“I will keep both frogs in my house. It is my duty to feed them as I did the kanyadan of the female frog. We hope the marriage will end our woes,” he said.

After the wedding, sweets were distributed, people blessed the newly-wed couple and prayed to god for rainfall.

Jharkhand has declared four districts — Chatra, Palamau, Lathear and Garwah — drought hit.

The affected districts have received rainfall of less than 100 mm so far this monsoon. As a result, the paddy crop has been badly hit.

http://blog.taragana.com/n/frogs-married-in-drought-hit-jharkhand-to-please-rain-god-118053/

“Smiles Please” …

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper; So I’d be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper; So I could have a new one everyday.

*******

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace; Here are some sleeping pills..

Wife: When must I give them to him ?

Doctor: They are for you, not him.

*******

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

*******

Husband: Today is Sunday and I have to enjoy it; So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents.

ughh… Gotta break this silence!!

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of Indians attacked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe’s throne.

The chief then said “All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me.”

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, “Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you’d have gotten away!”

The second guy answered while still laughing, “I couldn’t help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples.”

Sweetie; so the silence is broken with laughter or because of crying? Anyways, this joke was originally between a Sardarji and a Pathan, the pathan got an Akhroat and was laughing because Sardaji was bringing a Melon!

……..

Javed, Im fine, thanks! LOL Can u ever NOT ruin it? hahaha

LOL @ Sweetie “Can u ever NOT ruin it?”

Sweetie, hope all is well with you.

Seems like you came after a long time and Javed, being Javed, he was wellcoming you back in his usual style

BTW, I had heard Javed’s version of Sardarji with a Melon, but I think pineapples are much more creative and ‘painful’ too

“I think pineapples are much more creative and ‘painful’ too “ Munir

Munir, the proof of the pudding is in eating ….. aur, haath kangan ko aarsi kya? In Dubai you get melons and pineapples round the year, tou ghora doooor na maidaan! Unless you have already done that b4 and talking from your experience tou phir I believe you.

Sweetie koi naya joke sunao? Btw, where is theoKhan and Nutslie?

Hey Munir. I hope all is well with me too! lol Yeah it’s been a while. I haven’t seen Theo either. I hope he is well.

Javed, i’ll suna u a joke. I dunno where Theo is tho.

How are u guys?

Here you go.

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.

One day the wife of the tribe’s chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, “Look here! You’re the only white man we’ve ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”

The professor replied, “No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”

The chief was silent for a moment, then said, “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”

LOL sweetie, I’ve heard this b4, but reading it again made me laugh one more time. Thanks.

Im glad i could do that. I just don’t feel good myself tho.

Its so hot here, perhaps these last 6 days were the hottest days in many, many years. People say never in the month of August we had such high temperatures. From Dubai standards its nothing, it is 36C but, it feels like 42C and those houses where they have no AC the top floors have temp. of around 48C and its like boiling and people are complaining like hell. Fans have gone off the shelves like hot cakes.

We used to say we have July and then we have winter but, July was cold, nights were like 12C and some people were wearing light jackets in July and now in the middle of August no one expected it to be so hot. I remember we never used our pool after the first week of August because, the nights are cool and the water remains very cold.

Anyways, last year I got rid of the pool, too much work, maintenance cost of about $500 a year on chemicals and sometimes parts like, pump, filter, pipes or gadgets like submersible vacuum etc., and hardly a few weeks of swimming time and then we have no time to swim. So, this year I spent that much money in buying flowers both, annuals and perennials also remodeled the terrace. So, its looking nice and the backyard looks bigger than before. More space for BBQ parties

Hmmm It’s nice here. A little humid tho. I cannot imagine living without AC, i’d just suffocate! I remember u telling me about ure beloved pool & ure beloved flower beds around it hehe

Im sure u guys will get a kick outta this one!! boost for ure egos lol

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

“Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

“Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

“Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Javed …

36 C for Dubai is like heavens, even 42 C is acceptable for us, because average here for August is over 45 C (actually), although they don’t always tell the actual temperatures not to scare the peoples too much

On some days we normally see our car thermostats showing outside temperatures as high as 47/ 48 C, and at one particular hot day I remember seeing 51 C.

Weather here is as bad as it could get but this the price we all are willing to pay, you see. It’s more like a case of ‘you-win-some-you-loose-some’ for us.

On jokes … here is one from my side (I am sure Javed would have heard it before, but if he did not, he will still say he had heard it, just to ruin it anyway)

100 Sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one Sardar was left alive. The correspondent goes to him and asks the sardar ji about the incident.

Correspondent: How did it happen?

Sardar: Oh ji pucho mat. Sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ka wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement Hui ki ‘shaatabdee express’ number 2 kay platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi ‘PLATFORM PAR’ aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye pattri par kood gaye.

Aur tabhi gaddi pattri par aa gayi, aur sab kuchh khatam hogaya.

Correspondent : Thank God. Aap ne tu samajhdari dikhayee. Aap pattri par nahin koode.

Sardar: O nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye pattri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya.

Sweetie et Munir

Sorry guys, I have heard both these jokes before. But, I am not the only one on this blog, so whoever has not heard or read it before can enjoy it.

Munir

I know where you coming from and talking about summer and the heat. It is for this reason I have mentioned the name of Dubai in my last comment and I have experienced both i.e., the summer of Dubai and the winter of Montreal. From plus 50C to minus 50C and that is why I ask people, “Who says hell is hot?” It is frigging cold.

Try to understand that houses here are built to retain heat in the winter, hence the bedrooms are on the top floor and the heat rises up and stays there so the room temp. rises to 48C, so even if you open the windows it doesn’t make much difference. But, this kinda hot weather is not long lasting, I guess it should be over in a week max.

As regards your car thermo. these days all cars have excellent thermometers and the readings are correct so I don’t think the Dxb authorities misinform the people not to scare them. Where will they go even if they get scared? The water on the beaches is boiling, only covered cool indoor pools are good but a common man cannot access them. So, he sticks to his window AC cabin.

Yes Javed, you are the only one here on LS who can really understand my situation with 50 C temperatures

Regarding the car thermometers, I agree they are correct and moreover no one can manipulate with them, but what I meant was that sometimes TV/ Radio/ Newspapers do not tell the actual temperatures outside.

There is a large outdoor thermometer in a building close to my house in Sharjah and whenever I cross by it, it always shows 5 to 8 degrees lower then my car thermometer, because I am sure they have somehow lessen it’s readings.

Now the best part is, as you know, Ramdan is about to start on 21/ 22 of August this year and it will be tough fasting with temperatures above 45 C, plus the days are not getting any shorter yet.

Allah Reham Karay !!

BF, i dunno what happened, i cannot see my pic. Help me out here..

Same. I think i blocked the 0.gravatar lol I did remove it from the list of blocked sites, but it still doesn’t work.Can u help?

hmmm

Munir

I understand your Ramadan in Dubai would be tougher in terms of temperature but, ours would be tough in terms of longer hours. Every year Ramadan would be 11 days backwards, so in a few years Ramadan would be in June/July and you guys can still escape the heat by remaining indoors and there is not much time difference between now and July for Maghrib time in Dubai. Whereas, ours would be like 17-18 hours of fasting time.

If an outdoor thermometer displaying temp with 5-8 degrees difference then you should write in Khaleej Times or GN letters to the editor and request the owners to dump that billboard size thermometer in the Creek.

“In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful”.

“Ramadan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur’an as a guide to mankind also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (between right and wrong). So everyone of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spent it in fasting, but if anyone is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you He does not want to put you to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful”. Al-Quran (2 : 185).

Blessed Ramadan To All On L.S. !!

We are all really lucky for being provided with another magnificent opportunity to witness one more Ramadan in our lives, as this may be the last Ramadan for some !!

Try to make the most of this beneficent and benevolent month by maximizing your Prayers, Good Deeds and Charities.

Here are a few of the Best Quran Sites …

For listening to Quran …
http://www.mhct.net/

For reading with various fonts, including Urdu …
http://www.quranflash.com/quranflash.html

For reading and several English translations (easiest operations) …
http://www.quranexplorer.com/quran/

PS: I am taking the liberty to re-post this message here on V-Talk 10, for those who never visit our main cricket page.

Munir, If ure wife is a good cook, she’s welcome to stay with me hehehe.

Javed, u can always come & cook for me, i HATE cooking!! That way u wont have to sit here on the blog, & type recipes for us (theory), u can do it all practically & let me be the judge LOL

Lol.. i came across this joke & had to share it with u guys.

If you think life is bad. How would you like to be an egg?
* You only get laid once.
* You only get eaten once.
* It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft.
* You share your box with 11 other guys.
* But worst of all…. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.

So cheer up…..Your life ain’t that bad!!!

Javed, u can always come & cook for me, Sweetie

Aur bharrakh tum palang say neechay girr gayeen phir tumharee aankh khul gayee! Wake up Bibi and smell coffee.

Btw, sweetie you should have read the recent comments in Bavarchi Khana, Munir’s comments are in response to that.

Anyways, Ramadan is starting from tomorrow so Happy Ramadan to ALL.

BF, could please change the comment time stap to 12 hr clock? It’s confusing as it is, to see UK time. I don’t like calculating LOL

BF, not a prob. Thanks any way.

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn’t have much luck until, one day; he comes across a Harley with a ‘for sale’ sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. “Well, it’s quite simple, really,” says the seller, “whenever the bike is outside and it’s going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.” And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, “I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don’t talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.” “No problem,” he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation and leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. “She’s got a great body,” he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, “All right, that’s enough, I’ll do the fucking dishes!”.

Lol.. Good one.

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“What dear?” She asked gently.

“I think you bring me bad luck.”

Lol..

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most.

“When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”

They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.

He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.

The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?

The wife put down her drink and said, “Let the jerk dig. I had him buried upside down.”

Three guys go to see a witch doctor about their problems.

One has a smoking problem, one is an alcoholic and one is gay but wants to change.

The doctor puts a curse on them that if any of them indulge their habits again they will die.

Two days later the alcoholic dies because he gave in and had to drink.

The next day the gay guy and the smoker are walking down the street together. The smoker sees a cigarette lying and the ground and stops to stare at it.

The gay guy looked at him and said “if you bend over and pick that up we are both fucked”

Why, Why, Why,
?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
——————————————————————————–

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they already know there is not enough money?
——————————————————————————–

Why does someone
believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
——————————————————————————–

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
——————————————————————————–

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
——————————————————————————–

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
——————————————————————————–

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?
——————————————————————————–

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?
——————————————————————————–

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
——————————————————————————–

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?
——————————————————————————–

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
——————————————————————————–

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
——————————————————————————–

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
——————————————————————————–

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
——————————————————————————–

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, ‘It’s all right?’ Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That really hurt, why don’t you watch where you’re going?’
——————————————————————————–

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
——————————————————————————–

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
——————————————————————————–

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
——————————————————————————–

And my FAVORITE……
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.
——————————————————————————–
?

lol…

Awas, i was thinking of the heat & cold complaints myself the other day.

IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hey Awas good ones, really thought provoking questions. Especially this one: “If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?”

Now, this is such a simple and powerful answer to the questions coming from the Children of Charles Darwin who believe in him that Man evolved from Apes and they try to prove the religion wrong. From now onwards, I will keep this in my mind when dealing with such people instead of giving them other scientific, scholarly or religious based views with so much explanation. You can pounce on them by posing this question, If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Eid mubarak.

Javed, men = dogs, why are there still dogs? LOL

Sweety Kutty

lay loonga if you call men = dogs

Javed, did u mean kuttee(the cuss word), or kutti( naraz)?

sweety did I ever curse?

Ps

In fact the way you have spelled it, sounds like you are talking to me in Punjabi

Eid Mubarak

Eid Mubarak !!

Javed Khan, “lay loonga if you call men = dogs ”

Kiya Lay Laingay Bhai Sahab Aap ??

Javed, do i look like a paindoo to u? Besides, what do u wish to take from me? I have nothing to give…

lol Munir, he wants everything, even what he cannot have!

Sweety

Why are you jumping to conclusion? There is a line break in that comment, what I meant was “tum say kutty lay loonga” means dosti khatam ker doonga if you call men = dogs and that’s it ……. didn’t you ever hear that expression before? And, Munir is Munir he has only one track mind ….. yae uska qasoor nahee hai naam ka qasoor ha. Munir hotay hee aisay hain………. there is an invisible “K” in their name.

Ps.

MunKir

Lol… U guys are nasty!

I miss Theo … =(

A Sardar, recently arrived in the US , wanting to earn some money,
decides to become a ‘handy-man’ and starts looking for some
work in an upmarket colony nearby.

He goes to the front door of the nearest house and asks the owner,
another Indian, if he had any odd jobs for him to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch,” the owner says.

The Sardar responds, “How about $50?”
The owner says “Fine – there’s a can of brown paint and brushes in the
garage.”
The owner’s wife, inside the house, overhearing the conversation says to
her husband, “Does he realise that the porch goes all around the house?
That’s a whole day’s job.”
The man replies, “He should; he was standing on it. Do you think he’s
dumb?”
“No, I don’t think so. I guess I’m just influenced by those stupid
Sardar e-mail jokes we keep receiving.”

A short time later, the Sardar comes to the door and asks for the $50.
“You’ve finished already?” the husband asks.
“Yes,” he replies, “and there was paint left over, so I gave it two
coats.”

Impressed, the man reaches into his pocket for the money and hands it to
him.
“And by the way,” the turbaned guy adds, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a BMW”

Awas, i miss Theo & you show up… hmmmm

hehehe

LOL Awas that’s a good one But, I liked that farmer / sheep wala

If you have not posted it here, you can do that to cheer up Sweetie. She seems to be missing too many people even Abdul.

Javed, evidently you’re the one who’s hung up on Abdul, u bring him up every chance you get! lol

LOL @ MunKir …

This letter ‘K’ really spoils my name.

Even a MuniK will be bad, and Javed knows that

The train was quite crowded in Europe, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed, middle-aged, French woman’s poodle. The war weary Marine asked, “Ma’am, may I have that seat?” The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.” The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. Please, ma’am. May I sit down? I’m very tired.” She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude; you are also arrogant!” This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the trainwindow, and sat down. The woman shrieked, “Someone help me put this American in his place!” An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, “Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

Awas… u’re racist!! hehehe Now don’t u wish u were on that train (accompanied by someone else)? LOL

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?” He says: “What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?” Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?”
The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. “Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,” she says. “Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he snarls. Wife says: “Nothing. He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.” “Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?” asks the husband. “What do I look like,” she says, “Betty Crocker?”

hahaha @ Betty Crocker.

Sweety some how I don’t like the Internet recipes, I dunno why? Perhaps they are so stereotype and common besides, the way they write them sounds so plain and boring to me there is no fun reading. And, if there is no fun in reading how can you enjoy cooking it?

When someone asks me a recipe for whatever I cook and they like it, first of all I refuse to write it down, I simply tell them verbally or over the phone. And, if someone insist and I cannot refuse them, then I do write but I use sound effects in it like, you buzzzzzzzzzzz them in the blender; Ghoto, peeso, etc. Anyways, c’est moi.

MunKir oooooooops I mean Munir, perhaps you are thinking that Munkir is a cross between Kaafir and Mushrik……… nahee baba, Munkir Nakir are those angels who will come in the graves……. wo walay !

Javed, the next time i wont ask you for a recipe, I’ll simply drag ure ass here & make u cook for me!! muahahahaha

Sweetie

Its midnight and you usually dream about me, my cooking and my recipes and then you fall off from your bed………. aur tumharee aankh khull jaati………….. jao phir say so jao!

Javed, It’s actually past midnight & i did wake up cuz my sis called!
& i don’t dream of you, i see HIM in my dreams (i’ll leave that one for later). hehehe U wish i’d see u in my nightmares, but Muneer hasn’t quit yet. lol

WHY ARE INDIANS EASY TO IDENTIFY

We are like this only so true, so very true………

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2.. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3. You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it’s normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini..)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere, close to their real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says ‘No Food Allowed.’

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. HIGH PRIORITY ***** You use plastic to cover anything new in your house, whether it’s the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other ‘Uncles and Aunties’ will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

15.. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16.. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old.. (And they prefer it that way).

23. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.

24.. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

27. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.

28. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight

29. You call an older person you never met before as Uncle or Aunty.

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.

31. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

33. Its embarrassing if you’re wedding has less than 600 people.

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

37. You have really enjoyed reading this mail – forward it to as many Indians as possible.

I STILL LOVE TO BE AN INDIAN
————————————————————————
I got this from an Indian friend…not dissimilar to what most Pakistanis do

Yes this is so true, I mean most of the stuff is all desi culture be it India or Pakistan.

Hmmm @ fighting over who pays the dinner bill, came across that one!!

Thank God i have none of the above mentioned desi traits! well… i own a pressure cooker lol

A woman walked into a Police Station where a desk Sergeant asked if he could help her.

“Yes” she said, “I want to report a case of sexual assault”.

“Where did it happen?” the Sergeant asked.

“In the park down the road” she replied.

“Can you describe what happened?”

“Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with me”.

“Could you give me a description of him?” asked Sergeant.

“Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg”.

“Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman”, said the Sergeant.

“Yes”, said the lady, “He was a Pakistani opening Cricketer”.

“That’s very observant”, said the Sergeant, “You worked that out from his accent?”

“No”, she replied. “I worked it out because he wasn’t in for very long”.

Racist Berlusconi …

At a rally in Milan on Sunday night, Mr Berlusconi said: “I have to bring you some greetings, greetings from a man, what is his name – just a minute it was someone with a tan – Barack Obama”.

For the first time he extended the “joke” to the president’s wife, Michelle. “You wouldn’t believe it but they go to the beach together to sunbathe because even his wife is suntanned.”

Then it must be Imran Nazir.

I was testing the children in my local Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to Heaven.

I asked them, ‘If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?’

‘NO!’ the children answered.

‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?’

Again, the answer was, ‘NO!’ By now I was starting to smile.

Hey, this was fun! ‘Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my wife would that get me into Heaven?’ I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, ‘NO!’ I was just bursting with pride for them.

Well, I continued, ‘then how can I get into Heaven?’

A six-year-old boy from Glasgow shouted out,

.

‘YOU’VE GOT TAE BE ‘ DEID

Aaaaa children…I love what they say and how they say. So, spontaneous

They make your heart melt. Pride, joy and life of parents. Even when they are annoying, don’t you just want to hug them!!!

Awas, did i tell you guys about the ‘Kuta in his room’?

‘Kuta in his room’?

No you did not, go ahead and please tell us, I am all ears …

Sowwie, i wrote this on the other page.
Munir, I’m not sure if i can say it out loud here, it’s something Ziyad said lol

U guys must watch this! lol

Eid Mubarak to All on LS !!

At an Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society. ‘In fact, ‘he pointed out,’ some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.’

After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, ‘Would you like to know what the painting is really about?’

‘Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the Gallery?’ asked the couple.

‘Because I’m the guy who painted it,’ he replied.

‘In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They’re just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.’

A Punjabi : Khan jee Har Aadmi Tumhara Mazaq Kyon Uraata Hai ??

A Pathan : Haq Banta Hai … Kuchh Logon Ko Jab Bachpun Ka Darad Yaad Aata Hai Tu Ghussa Tu Karega Naa Bhai

85 year old man: My 28 year old wife is pregnant, your opinion doctor??

Doctor: Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry grabs an umbrella instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle and BANG!!…….The lion drops dead!

Old Man: That’s impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion.

Doctor: MY POINT EXACTLY!

An 85 year old white Caucasian male got married to a 28 year old white blonde and every year he was producing a new model. Each time the nurse asks a question, “how do you manage to do it?” The old man proudly replies, “Just keep the motor running.” On the last occasion i.e., on the 5th child, she asks the same question and the old man gives the same answer. ” Just keep the motor running” This time the nurse replies, “Change the oil, its black.”

Oh boy, we are still running V-Talk 10; it’s been like an year now! I guess the absence of girls made this page less attractive

Here go a few jokes:

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

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A bully and a nerd were walking through the woods and they bumped into a fairy and she said “I’ll give you both three wishes.”

So the bully goes “Ok I wish every guy in this town was a girl except for me and this weasel nerd.”
So the fairy grants it.

Then the nerd goes “I wish for a helmet!”
So she grants it.

Then the bully thinks and goes “I wish every guy in the USA was a girl except for me and this ugly nerd.”
So the fairy grants it. Then the nerd goes, “I wish for a fast motorcycle.”
She grants it.

Then on the last one the bully thinks some more and goes “I wish every guy in the world was a girl except for me and this pathetic nerd.” Then the nerd goes “I wish this bully was gay.”

The fairy grants it and the nerd rides off.

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A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling on the corner. The bum says, “Mister, can you spare a dollar?”
The man thinks a minute. Then he asks the bum, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it to buy liquor?”
“No,” says the bum.
The man then asks, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it for gambling?”
Again the bum says, “No.”
So the man says to the bum, “Do you mind coming home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone who doesn’t drink or gamble?”