Cricket ki acchi baat yeh hai kay hamari team ka satandard abhi tak nahee badla vohi players vohi betting ishtyle, vohi urdu boling-in-turr-views, vohi bay tukkay run outs, vohi itminaan-ul-haq. Laikin India ki betting side ka javab nahee, they have the best betting side in the world yeh aur baat hai kay bicharaon ki luck kharab hai aaj kal. Cricket aur Bollywood dono hee actors aur betters say bhara hova hai. Aur Bollywood ka toh naqsha hee badal gaya. Jab hum Dubai may thayy toh yeh saray khans and kapoors along with their aikustras used to come to Sharjah to see the cricket matches aur inki khoob Bukhatir Tawazo hoti thi. Aur iskay alava inko kabhi kabhi hum Zee TV per bhi dekha kertay thay.

Tub Salman Khan bilkul Nawaz Shareef insaan lagtay thay laikin ubb janay unko kya ho gaya kay Salman Khan say vo Sleeveless Khan ho gaye, unho nay apni javani may toh kuch nahee dikhaya ab uchal uchal ker apnay silly-cone say bharay daolay dikhatay hain, shayed unko MACs lag gayee! (middle aged crisis). Aur yeh itni contagious bimari hai kay unko dekh ker Govinda, Shove-in-da__ , Shitty, mitty sab kay sab nay apni aasteenain phaar leen. Aur voh kambakht Khalnayka Sanjay Butt, uss nay apna transplanted rib cage dikhanay kay chakkar may apni kameez utar ker Idhee Fund may donate ker di, aur voh iss umeed pay kay baki sari top ki hero-wines usko copy keraingi ! Magar yeh ho na saka … voh iss liyeh kay hero-wines ka kehna hai kay hindustan may kapraon ki vaisay hee bahot tangi hai aur itni tangi hai kay mardaon ki patloon tang say tang hoti jaari aur heroines agar choli bhi nahee pehnaingi toh phir unn say kon poochay ga kay uskay peechay kya hai? Aur log konsay gaanay gayengay?

Albutta Hitrik ka future Roshan nazar aata hai kewn kay na sirf uska jism balkay uski shakal bhi Tarzan say bahot milti hai. Aur voh apni nayee film bananay Africa kay mulk Chad gaya hova hai aur uss film ka naam hai “Tarzan Chad (dee) May”! Jane yani kay uss filam ki hero-wine ka intekhab abhi nahee hoa kewn kay uss role kay liyeh public demand kay mad-e-nazar aik “Eye-tum-Bum” hero-wine chahyeh. Bollywood Entertainment Chay-null kay anoosaar mashoor day-ruk-tor, pro-doo-sir Subash Ghayal ko Toe-Run-Toe kay airport par eye-tum-bum hero-wine vo bhi beghair visa, ismuggle ker nay kay ilzaam may giraftaar ker liya gaya.

ABC (Aik Bore Channel) ki news kay mutabiq Subash Ghayal par aik sath 4 cases chalaye jaingay, pehla case, ghair qanooni eye-tum-bum lay jana; doosra case possession of hero-wine; teesra case ismuggling; chowtha case visa na honay kay kaaran immigration act kay tahet umar qaid saza milay gee aur unhay “Gwanto” Bhaij diya jai ga. Subash, Ghayal honay say pehlay iss baat par khush hain kay unhay na sirf zaafrani (sadhoo dress) vardee milay gee, hath paon may kayee kilo ki lohay kay Kangan milenge aur sab say bari baat Gwanto ki first hand undrooni information milaygi jiss say voh apni aanay vali film Kala Pani 2 number ki iscript vahan baith ker sakoon say aur ba qalam khudd likhaingay.

Sarhad kay iss paar Lollywood may dish ki vaba phail nay say saaray sitaaray salmaan sin-drome may mubtala ho gaye aur aasteenain phaarnay aur kurtay utarnay ki soch may rung-e-haath giraftar hain. Aur Pak-Army hukoomat unhay khullam khulla urriyaniyat ki ijazat nahee day rehi hai. Hukkam ka kehna hai kay agar hamaray honda hero’s iss terha keraingay toh kopy-kats kehlaingay; lehaza they have to be more creative.

A new soch-tanki (think tank) has been created and its being headed by Reema, Neeli, Peeli aur Chit-Kabri uss Com-Eat-Tea ki baki rukanniya hain. Unn say kaha gaya hai kay voh Brain Storming Session kerain aur soch ker batain kay hamaray heros ko kya kerna chahiyeh? Reema aur Neeli ka kehna hai kay voh sessions toh theek thaak ker laytee hain laikin they are puzzled kay voh Brains kahan say laingi?

To resolve this dimaghi issue, Abba Jee has taken up the task of supplying Brain Nihari for the Com-Eat-Tea. He claims that he is the most x-pee-ree-ncd can-di-date for this task since he is exporting brain nihari every single day to KSA for his most OB-Dent-Lee Son ‘The Simpleton Shareef’ in the hope that one day he will be more brainer than George Dubya (George Dubya Bush) and he makes sure that his son eats brain nihari everyday by saying BushMilla before eating it.

On the international front, TNT kay dyna-mite chay-null pay har voh thaki hoi film dikhai jaati hai jo Hollywood kay box office par fail ho gayeen theen, jisko logon nay paisay day ker dekhnay say inkaar ker diya ab yeh paisay day ker dikhana chahtay hain. Khaas ker Jaan Wayne, Jame Bands, Arnold ShalwarNikkar ki filmain, sometimes when they show Arny in the ABC news then you can’t make out whether it is a news eye-tum on the Governor of California or a film ka trailor? But Americans are used to this because they have seen such eye-tums for 8 years when Reagan was in power as an actor-cum-president. Poor Arny still lives in his past and thinks that Clinton is still in power so he forwarded a Bill to Clinton requesting him to pass on the bill to the congress to change his title from “Governor of California to Terminator of California”. Arny has supported his views by substantiating his claim that since he is the new Governor, California is no longer the seventh largest economies in the world and very soon it will be Terminated from the Top Ten. Poor Clinton couldn’t bear the shock and had to go through a by-pass, aur Hillary bhi iss baat say bahot hill gayeen aur Bush kay peechay Chupp gayeen!

North America may British channels, khaas ker comedy programs nahee aatay umreekano ka kehna hai kay angraizaon ki comedy unki conservative party ki terha dry hai that is why they prefer French over the British. They even call it French Channel instead of the British Channel because they are more open! Well this is just a rumour, but Moin Akhtar ka kehna hai kay France ki submarine chup ker chalti hai, sirf submarine chup ker chalti hai bus – baki sab khulla hai.”

Ama yeh Lucknow ki saugaath hai aur is tehzeeb ka mubayyana phull, jab ek shayar ek haath mai paan or doosrey haath mai jaam rakh taa hai aur moo mai paan ki peek, toh silsala aur karvaan shurooh ho jaata hai shayari ka……………

Oh that, “Billi Kay Khowaab May Cheechray” … yes I heard it and know it well.

Liked your Sardar joke, I heard it for the first time.

Here is one from my side…

Q – What is the difference between a woman and a girl ?

A – 25 KG

Q – What is the difference between a man and a boy ?

A – 25 minutes

Have you not heard the famous expression: “Billi Kay Khowaab May Cheechray” ? Goya Jaan-e-Bahar ko hum nay Cheechra Bana diya!

Last time I wrote a joke on the cricket page, perhaps you did not read that, I am gonna repeat it.

“Sardarji” tells this to his friend: ” BV kay intekhaal kay 3 saal baad, Sharaab Ki Botul ka Sahara liya!

Dost: Phir kya hoa?
Sardarji: Hona kya thaa………. Botul tore ker nikal na para!

LOL Balkay LMAO @ your “genetic engineering”. All are good, but best was no. 3 … “Pyaar Ka Vada aisay Nibhayen, Tum Bhoolo tou Tum Murr jao, Aur Mai Bhooloon tab bhee Tum Murr jao” …. it is like “head I win, tail you loose” kinda situation.

Sorry I don’t know what is “Billi Ka Khowaab”, please tell me the storey behind it.

Anyways, it is long time since you told us a nice storey.

Don’t put words in my mouth, I did not use her name, I meant in general girls go for face lifting just like guys go for weightlifting.

On poetry, I usually perform genetic engineering by altering the famous existing songs:

1. Yaeee Dostiiiii Hum Naheeeee Chorenge
Phorenge Sir tera, aur Taang bhee Torenge

2. On that famous song, Chaudhveen Ka Chaand ho…. I start with Chaudhary Ka Saand ho
And, one of the verses is, “Jaan-e-Bahar tum kisi Shayer ka Khowaab Ho.” I say, “Jaan-e-Bahar Tum Kisi Billi Ka Khowaab ho.”

I am sure you know what is Billi Ka Khowaab?

3. Pyaar Ka Vada aisay Nibhayen, Tum Bhoolo tou Tum Murr jao, Aur Mai Bhooloon tab bhee Tum Murr jao.

Well, there are many but, for today 3 are enough

Don’t put words in my mouth, I did not use her name, I meant in general girls go for face lifting just like guys go for weightlifting.

On poetry, I usually perform genetic engineering by altering the famous existing songs:

1. Yaeee Dostiiiii Hum Naheeeee Chorenge
Phorenge Sir tera, aur paaon bhee Torenge

2. On that famous song, Chaudhveen Ka Chaand ho…. I start with Chaudhary Ka Saand ho
And, one of the verses is, “Jaan-e-Bahar tum kisi Shayer ka Khowaab Ho.” I say, “Jaan-e-Bahar Tum Kisi Billi Ka Khowaab ho.”

I am sure you know what is Billi Ka Khowaab?

3. Pyaar Ka Vada aisay Nibhayen, Tum Bhoolo tou Tum Murr jao, Aur Mai Bhooloon tab bhee Tum Murr jao.

Well, there are many but, for today 3 are enough

I liked your ‘Azad Nazam’ style, it seem you want to write poetry by being ‘Bae-Parwa’ from ‘Kafia & Radeef Ki Qaid Sey’.

This ‘Azad Nazam/ Ghazal’ is modern day ‘Shairee’ which liberates the ‘Shaair’ from old stile of repeatitive poetry.

BTW, this ‘Shair’ which I wrote above …

71, 72, 73, 74
75, 76, 77, 78

is a famous ‘Shair’ from some know poet. No jokes.

Javed Khan …

LOL @ 61 – 62, 61 – 62.

So you are suggesting that Sweetie has done ‘face-lifting’.

You are safe as long as she has not read these comments.