The Auto Rickshaw crashed and it is not a ‘John Doe’ because, it has a name, an identity and it is called Ching Chee. There are plenty of casualties in that Sardine packed Ching Chee. A postmortem revealed the names of those who did not survive thetop of the list name is Rambo Shoaib Akhtar. He was DOA in Lahore, in fact his condition was beyond recognition, perhaps it is the result of being left out to burn up. At no stage he was showing any positive signs of recovery. His own retirement announcement was premature, he should have waited till the end of the tournament. But, it was a deliberate ruse from him to get empathy which in turn could get him a place in the playing XI. Instead it ensured a permanent parking spot at the Rawalpindi Railway Station, which they will ultimately move it to the museum. The Pindiites are building, a monument in “Choor Chowk” Rawalpindi to commemorate the once upon a time “The Rawlapindi Express.” Now, known as Maal Gaadi.
The other victim came out from the Ching Chee is identified as a, blocker, sweeper, the so-called fighter “the son of the soil from where the famous General, Paper Tiger Niazi hails and this sweeper is from MianWali Miss Baah.
The famous General, Paper Tiger Khan Niazi, when asked about surrendering against the Indian Army in 1971 proudly said: “Over my dead body.” And, the next thing he did was surrendered in front of the Indian Lt. Gen. Jagjit Singh Arora. An army of 90,000 infantry, tank battalion, armored car battalion and a dozen fighter jets under his command and he surrendered. Never before in the history an incident of such magnitude and such large army surrendered. So, no wonder if Misbah ul Haq hails from the same town of Mianwali and also from the same warrior race of NIAZI…. Imran Khan Niazi, who is struggling to be a leader since the last 19 years, is also from Mianwali.
Coming back to the semi-final, as if that was not enough, another court-jester who cannot stop smiling even after dropping a simple catch or getting out cheaply is a Pathan. Perhaps his motto is, “Jio tou Aisay Jio, Jaisay Khusshall Khattak Khan nay Jia” no matter whatever happens he says, don’t worry be happy. In order to remain happy in his own paradise he declined to lead the team’s captaincy thrice then pinched himself to make sure he is not dreaming and is alive also he is not a dummy captain! So, as long as he is alive he cannot be the captain of the Pakistan team perhaps he is on the GT road on way to his hometown to set up his “Chai Ka Dhaaba”.
Kamran Akmal may not have a future behind the wickets but he has a bright future ahead of him. He can be a sabziwala, fruitwala or, a Nayee where he can sit with his gloves on, and drop tomatoes, potatoes and oranges under his table and no one will notice how many he dropped? The only time Kamran’s mouth is shut when he is playing a shot, this is not a joke, watch him on a video.
Umar Akmal will be Kamran’s Chotta and won’t let his Bhaiyya remain alone, he will join him wherever he may go. Be it Farzana Davakhana or Baluchi ka Chai Khana. My advise is, both of them should go to Peshawar at least once.
Abdul Razzaq should make a golden handshake with Ijaz Butt and create history by announcing the retirement of both of them at the same time. I can offer one million dollar Canadian Tire Money to Ijaz Butt. But, the time is limited, he has to accept it on April 1st 2011 and not after that.
Time to rebuild the Pakistani Ching Chee or, the auto-rickshaw but definitely not like the Indian BMW. To me that Indian BMW had a very bumpy ride on the streets of Mohali. The problem was not with the speedometer alone but it was in the wheels, the chassis and the steering wheel. The 0-60 acceleration was good but, then everything collapsed, the linear torque was pathetic, yet they won the race because the Lahori Ching Chee was overloaded with overweight passengers, in other words there was too much drag.
Eventually one can say that India won or the better team won but, by any standards India played badly, especially Tendulkar he is lucky but, he played ugly. And, Pakistan played the worst game of the tournament and deserved to lose the match. You cannot drop 6 catches, 4 of them of their ace player and you cannot afford to offer a dead bat to every single ball that was bowled. Only the Mianwali Paper Tigers can do that and the irony is such paper tigers will remain in the team because of the jingoistic decision makers sitting at the top. To sum up, enjoy the auto-rickshaw ride like these girls