Archive for November, 2011


After Imran Khan Niazi, Pakistan has found Mishab ul Haq Niazi – this is the truth and a fact – the rest I am going to write here is lies, total lies and nothing but lies. Like he is the most successful Captain of Pakistan cricket team. I admire his cool demeanor and from whichever “angle” you look at him, he looks like a cool cucumber.

cool cucumber

cool cucumber

I am not sure if the girls like him because of this coolness that he possess.

I heard that Mudassar Nazar cried for several hours because Misbah has broken his record of slow batting but, then someone told him, you still hold the slowest century record so hold on let Misbah try it in Bangladesh.

If Misbah was not in the team, Pakistan cricket team may have not even reached the first T20 WC final, well Misbah said, why am I here, I did that against India in the round match, I will do that in the final and make the bookies happy that, Pakistan lost and India won. But, trust me Misbah is very honest he did not make any money from the bookies, not even a cent. Instead Uncle **SIM jo India hee may rehay hain, he made a few millions, may be rupees, may be dollars.

But, Misbah is a very honest, dedicated man, a real team player. He plays till the end and tells the team, “Laal Tain, iss Terha Pakartay Hain.” If you guys know about this joke you would be rotflol-ing.

People have forgotten Misbah’s two innings of the Ist T20 WC in SA and they have even forgotten LONG, long ago his slow and negative batting in the recent 50 over ODI, WC of 2011. He didn’t mean to irk the Pakistanis he was actually playing his natural game, I mean this is true. I cannot pack ALL the lies in Misbah’s bucket and ask him to kick the bucket. Marray Uss Kay Dushman, he should live long and lead Pakistan even when he is 65 years old. And, make Asad Shafiq, Junaid Khan, Umar Akmal etc. look old and haggard.

Misbah’s field placement is excellent, he never bothers to tell anyone by indicating with his hand or even open his mouth and that is because of his cool demeanor, he simply uses his ” disgustipating – telepathetic” communication skills with players and they simply move into the desired position wherever he wants to place them.   See this is a KwalTee which no one can acquire and he has often done that.

It is just like he often gets out in a different way each time and upon asking he said, my name ends with UL-HAQ so there is something common between me and Inzi Bhai. But, I must admit that he is a very creative player, captain and a leader he discovers new ways of getting out when everyone expects him to finish the match, he ends up on the winning side, because he has never, ever, lost a match single-handedly and that is because, I am speaking the truth.

This reminds me of a nursery rhyme and i.e., in Urdu and I am making it into a parody:

Baat Ki Baat, Khurafaat ki Khurafaat
Misbah nay lagaye 2, 2, shaat
Ek Miss Hoa, Doosra Laga hee nahee
Jo Miss hoa wo dikhaa hee nahee
Jo Laga nahee uskay banay ek duggi aur Chaar Chowkay
Jis kay lagay Chaar Chowkay
Vo kisi kay Hisaab may nahee
Jo hisaab may nahee, Vo Misbah kay howay
Misbah nay banaye 50 runs
Ek baar not out reha
Doosree baar out hee nahee hoa
Jab out hee nahee hoa
Tab Khel Khatam hoa

Misbah nay phir poocha,
Konsi team jeeti aur konsi haari?
Uss nay kaha, jab haari nahee
Tou jeetnay ki kay baat kahee

Kaptaan ho tou aisa,
Jis ki dum pay Paisa



Please see this table and compare great modern day batsmen. These are batsmen who are either still playing or retired within the past 5 years, and average 50 or more and have played 75+ Tests.

The first table explores how each batsmen did vs each Test team and how much they averaged in each country. These stats are separated by “/”. The next table explores players’ averages in all innings of a match which provides an insight into who played better whilst chasing or when the pitch had deteriorated, or had become more conducive to spin. It also shows average in won, lost and drawn matches, averages at home or away, the number of innings played and most importantly,  scores of 100 and 50 that led to victory for their teams expressed as a percentage of total innings played. Although we will discuss this in more detail below it is startling to know that Lara has the poorest record in this regard.

I would like you all to offer your thoughts and I hope Bichoo, Pawan, 420 and the others can also contribute with their views.  Stats have been noted from Cricinfo.



Aaj Kal Imran Khan kay charchay her zubaan pay …… 
Nawaz ko maloom hai aur Zardari ko khabar ho gayee …

Everyone in Pakistan and most countries in the world are focusing on Imran Khan’s growing popularity.  They are all talking about the rising of a “Son of the Soil” arising from the East, who is going to change the face of Pakistan? And we, on this blog are more concerned about Imran’s success as a new elected leader, hoping Imran will overhaul the cricket industry of Pakistan.  Obviously, there is no better person in Pakistan who understands cricket and as head of the State i.e., if Imran is elected he will certainly bring a revolution in the PCB its, management, selection process and in the grooming of the players and finding talent at the grass root level.  Therefore, we are very interested in Imran Khan winning the elections based on the facts that there is no other suitable candidate because of his educational background, his honesty, loyalty, dedication and straightforwardness.  He has the charisma and he is using it well so far, yet it is a very farfetched goal.

On this cricket blog we would like to analyze what Imran Khan can and, must do in order to succeed?  He definitely needs to plan rather than say, “we will cross the bridge when we will come to the bridge.” He should have planned long ago in making a team of young, dynamic, educated people who are honest and loyal and not just a few workers in his party. He need people with vision and he need people who already have some political background, by inviting Shah Mahmood Qureishi in his party is the first good move he has made so far in expanding the horizons of his political career.  Otherwise, so far people have been saying that his party is only a one man show.  Its a fact, there are no big names in his party.  As a leader he should not be at the top of the pyramid but, he should be at the center, in the core and in the hearts of people and his party.  People should be revolving around him rather than waiting for their turn to reach at the top to meet their leader.

Considering the political setup in Pakistan it is extremely difficult for Imran Khan to get a total majority or, even significant votes to form a coalition government. Seeing half a million people in his public rallies and gatherings in Urban areas means nothing to me. Because, All those who have attended his “Jalsa” may have come from different riding and different electoral sectors and, their votes will be scattered and get wasted.   And, most importantly what he should (I am sure he does) know that almost 80% of Pakistan’s population is in the rural areas and these are the hardcore votes and these voters are simply loyal to their masters i.e., the Chaudhries, Wadheras and Sardars.  And, these feudal lords are controlling them like their slaves. The masses are told by their masters that they have to vote for them and not anyone else and they obey their master’s orders.  And, most of the ignorant poor people in the rural areas have no knowledge of Imran Khan or his party and nothing about his party’s manifest or the “Manshoor.”  Some of them may not even know who Imran Khan is? And those who have heard his name may think he is “that” cricketer – Imran Khan?

In the big cities like Lahore, Islamabad and Multan he can win his seats but, in Karachi its very difficult that is because of MQM’s Fort Knox they have a total control over the city and no one can win against their candidates and same is the case in interior Sindh especially in Larkana, Sukkur, Khairpur etc. 

How can Imran Khan break this wall and penetrate into their territories and get the votes? He should go back and read QeA M. A. Jinnah’s strategy in winning the constituent assembly elections of 1946. The All India Muslim League won 425 out of 496 seats reserved for Muslims (and about 89.2% of Muslim votes). How did this happen? I don’t think it is mentioned in the history books but, people who are still alive from 1925 onwards remember that. Jinnah appealed ALL the Muslim educational institutions of India i.e., including Aligarh University to shut down their institutions for 2-3 months prior to the elections and asked them to send their educated young Muslims to the rural areas to create awareness about the elections and the need to create a Muslim state called Pakistan.  There was a famous pamphlet that was distributed among the Muslims was titled, “Now or Never.  Are We to Live or Perish Forever?”

So, Imran Khan should ask not only his party workers but, appeal the educated students to come forward and take the responsibility as the torch bearers of the New Pakistan that will emerge after the elections under Imran Khan’s leadership. They should not only be going to the rural areas to deliver a speech like all the leaders do, because they are not the leaders, they are the ambassadors of The Justice Party or the Tehrik-e-Insaaf and they should stay there for a good period of time and mingle with the people and explain to them what was going on in the past and where Pakistan stands or is lagging behind other small nations due to the lack of leadership and and growing corruption.  And, these young ambassadors have to create awareness and pave the way for their leader to address them, then Imran Khan should address the mass gatherings rather than rushing and hurrying a “Jalsa” at the 11th hour. With awareness comes the knowledge and the ability to distinguish between the right and wrong and it helps in decision making rather than acting like a herd and vote without any awareness of what they are going to get from their leaders?

Imran, you are no more the captain of Pakistan cricket team, you have grown up, you are more matured now and you have a vision and you need to accomplish your goals and no one alone can accomplish such goals, you have to rely on others who share the same vision as you and who are as honest, dedicated and committed as you. Your team is not of 11 players but, the whole country must be your team or at least a majority of the people must share your vision and that should be your aim.

So, remember the strategy of Jinnah and follow his footsteps because, never in the history of the sub-continent there was such a big turnout in elections as it was in 1946 and that is why his party won the elections with absolute majority. SEND YOUR TEAM TO THE RURAL AREAS  it is “Now or Never” situation for you.  People are sick of Zardari and Nawaz and they also dislike the Army. So, this is your golden chance to win this “Election Cup,” which is much, much bigger than the 1992 World Cup.  Win it or lose it forever.

On this cricket blog we are very blunt, straightforward and very selfish, the reason we are supporting you is because, we want a better PCB administration, we want NO corruption in the PCB and we want the players to be groomed, educated and aware of the the rules as well as their roles. A player who is uneducated, uncouth, ignorant cannot and shall not be a role model for the youngsters. Hoping that you will certainly do what is needed to be done in to the development and the improvement of cricket in Pakistan.  Our bloggers are going to share their views through brainstorming and may be able to suggest even better ideas. So, I am wishing you all the best in your future endeavors.