Archive for September, 2012


Saeed Ajmal you may be the best bowler in the world but, we CCI (generally mistaken by the Pakistanis that CCI means; Cricket Council Of India, actually we are the Cricket Clowns International) cannot give you the player of the year award because, you are a Pakistani …. ooops…..  Please don’t quote that we are not saying its a mistake but, it is politically incorrect also, it is not official.

Ahemmm, let us discuss with the members of our Politburo and then we will release an official statement. In the mean time please delete that blabbering, it was nothing but a loud thinking. So, please wait while we get back to you.

Ummmmm OK, we have now discussed it with our comrades at the CCI Politburo and we would like to make an official press release especially for you: ” The PCB Guys and the Pakistani public who are making a big hue and cry for nothing.”  And, you Mr. Ijaz Butt, you have lodged a baseless protest against us. In our opinion it is a diplomatic blasphemy on your part so it is about time that, you better amend your blasphemy laws in your PCB constitution.

For your kind information, the decision to nominate the player of the year award, especially the long list of players who were nominated for this award was decided by a panel of 32 independent jurors. Do you understand how many are 32? It means three tens and one + one.

And, before that, the longlist was prepared by not one man like Ijaz Butt, but a five-member very able Selection Panel headed by Clive Lloyd and it included Clare Connor (England), Tom Moody (Australia), Carl Hooper (West Indies) and Marvan Atapattu (Sri Lanka). See, there is no Indian in this panel, because they like to do the backseat mothering.

Now, also for your information, in that panel of 32 member INDEPENDENT jury, you have two of your very own ‘disabled & mistrusted’ people. One is a former test player and a former Chief Selector of the PCB Mr. Aamir Sohail and the other is your own journalist Mr. Majid Bhatti both were also the jurors of that panel. So, the mistake of not choosing Saeed Ajmal is not ours but, your own. Therefore, the next time if you lodge a protest Mr. Ijaz Butt, the Chairman of the PCB, you get your facts correct. Kapish?

You are saying that,  Saeed Ajmal, took 72 Test wickets between August 4, 2011 and August 6, 2012 – the qualifying period for the award – including 24 wickets at an economy rate of 14.70, and Pakistan swept aside England, the then NUMERO UNO side in the world. And whitewashed them 3-0 in January 2012. Ajmal  climbed to No. 3 rank in the ICC Test bowling rankings and is the highest ranked spinner. So, let us check our records before we correct this anomaly and we will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thursday Sept. 06, 2012:  OK there you go, YES we have checked the records and somehow our records show that NOW a Pakistani bowler called “Shaheed AQHmal”, has become the top bowler in the ODI rankings.  How is it possible? How can a Pakistani bowler and that too a spinner can be better than Graeme Swann of England? Let us check it again with the help our subsidiary “ICCB” (read reverse) and their top IT gurus.

Alright, something similar happened in the year 2010 when Swanny was not in the long list and our sister concern BCE (British Clowns of England) pointed out this error and we realized that was a genuine over-sight on our part. Because, Swanny is a great bowler. So, we had to include him in the  nomination. That is another matter that he lost to Bhagwan Sri Sachin Tendulkar, because we don’t want to “diss-please” ICCB because they support us whenever we need them.

But, in Ajmal’s case there are a few hindrances and obstacles, like he did not play on the hard bouncy wickets of Australia and South Africa, so we don’t know whether he will be as effective as he is in the UAE?  Besides, UAE is like an extended province of Pakistan. They even import the soil for the pitch from Pakistan and that is why their bowlers bowl well on those pitches and they keep on altering the pitch according to their needs. Fast track, slow track, medium track, bouncy, SurrSurri etc. etc.

Anyways, Mr. Ijaz Butt, the Chairman of the PCB must not give us threats of boycotting the ceremony because, they still have to come to Sri Lanka to play the T20 World Cup.

According to the official press release receieved from the PCB, Mr.Zaka Ashraf is the new Chairman of the PCB since January 2012. However, our (CCI) records indicate that Mr. Ijaz Butt is still the Chairman of the PCB. We will ask the ICCB techno savvy gurus to help us in amending our computer programming system.

Shaheed AHQmal has also violated the code of conduct laws by giving an statement to the media that the CCI is nominating player of the year award based on likes and dislikes and not on the basis of performance! How can he say that? Under the penal code no. 302 section 144 paragraph 3-4.7 clearly says that any player especially a Pakistani player IF he insults the CCI or CCIB directly or indirectly shall be banned for 7.382 years.

“After our discovering the error in our CCI computer system when we announced that Shaheed AQHmal is now the Numero Uno bowler in the world for ODI’s he is apparently over the moon.”  The picture below was taken by The Curiosity Rover from MARS.

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. I write for free and for fun, and this piece is written in total zest to amuse cricket lovers not because its a funny story but, its a truth that a real good bowler ~ Saeed Ajmal, who performed better than everyone else in the world,  is not being considered for an award by the ICC ~ And, that is a real shame.







IF you ask this question why Pakistan lost the ODI series against Australia? There could be a thousand reasons and a million different views on this subject. So, whoever wishes to express his views here is most welcome to agree or disagree with my views:


There was a collapse in the top order thereby giving Misbah and his rookies a free licence to start their tuk-tuk Battery. Even though the middle order sustained because of two partnerships, first between Misbah and Asad Shafiq putting up 49 runs together followed by a 61 runs partnership between Asad Shafiq and Umar Akmal both scoring 50 odd runs, it wasn’t enough to put on a decent score, they were bundled out for 198.

The slide started in the batting power play when Shafiq departed. Pakistan were 159 /4 and they were 198 all out, losing SIX wickets for 39 runs and that is not new. A couple of decades ago under Imran Khan’s captaincy, Sri Lanka and New Zealand used to get out like that against Pakistan. Even Lara’s West Indies was in the same league. Now, its Pakistan’s turn to get out in heaps and bounds within a space of 25-30 runs.

Australia were able to achieve that target of 199 in the 49th over which wasn’t an easy sailing for them despite Clarke’s 66 and Bailey’s 57 they seemed to have some difficulty in facing Ajmal who got rid of both Hussey’s and Maxwell as well. Australian win wasn’t that convincing.  IMO things would have been very different had Pakistan scored 30-35 runs more.


Australia scored 248 which wasn’t a bad total to defend, thanks to Ajmal again for his 4 wickets haul supported by Junaid Khan’s 3 wickets otherwise OZs could have scored 280+ runs. The onus was on the Pakistani openers to score quickly and Nasir Jamshed played a good knock, unlucky that he fell 3 runs short of his century. His partnership of 101 with Azhar Ali was the key and Pakistan won the match comfortably in the 44th over.


This was a crucial match and the series decider. Pakistan lost it because of their own stupidities and serendipities. First, when the opening pair added 129 runs at a good strike rate, they did not capitalize it and ended up adding only 115 runs losing all 10 wickets after that. This is so weird, when are these batsmen going to learn from their past mistakes? It seems like a “NeverEndum” conundrum for Pakistan, showing sporadic brilliance and then back to mediocrity the next moment.

Secondly, it was the unpardonable blunder by Ajmal. Out of all the players, Saeed Ajmal the bowler himself unexpectedly refused to call for a LBW referral for Hussey and no one knows why he did that? Most of us, including myself when we saw the ball in real time said, “Its Plumb LBW.”  But, Ajmal thought the ball wasn’t hitting the stumps, OR he was over confident that he will get Hussey the next ball or in the next over and disagreed with his colleagues to call for a referral.

However, the slow motion replay and Hawk-Eye revealed that Hussey was OUT. The match would have taken a big turn from there, Hussey went on to add 50 odd runs to his personal total. To add fuel to the fire, Azhar Ali dropped a sitter of Maxwell, who went berserk after that to finish off the game in no time, he added 26 runs to his personal score.

To talk about the performance of Afridi or Misbah’s captaincy to play a half fit Afridi or, sending him at number 3, or questioning Misbah’s decision to remove Ajmal after 3 overs when he gave only 11 runs for 3 wickets or finger pointing at the Akmals once again for a suspected conspiracy or, blaming Billy Bowden for not raising his crooked finger when Hussey was plumb, these are all lame excuses and an exercise in futility.

The fact is, the over all batting, fielding was “disgustipatingly” pathetic there wasn’t any discipline in the team to focus on their follies, Misbah as usual was seen disconnected with the team members, not going near them or talking to them except for standing alone with a #FacePalm and hoping for the match to end (i.e., when Azhar dropped Maxwell’s catch). Anyways, this ended the role of Misbah, he must be back home to watch the 3 match T20 series in Dubai from his living room on a TV set.

Hafeez, the Captain of the T20 team and, the so-called Professor has not been so good and effective as a captain and it seems that he has lost the ability of flying. After a long time he played a good knock in the 3rd ODI but, his bowling was pathetic. The sixes scored off his and Junaid’s bowling by the Australian openers gave them the confidence they needed, once again Ajmal was unplayable and bowled very well.

Afridi, is not likely to play the next two T20’s because of the split web injury he got during the 3rd ODI. Without Afridi, there is more vulnerability in the bowling department because, Afridi is good in his first 4 overs and, one can hope that Ajmal will mesmerize the OZ’s? IMO, its asking too much from the magician to get half the side out in his alloted 4 overs.

Its very likely that Shoaib Malik will play in Afridi’s absence. Imran Nazir and Abdul Razzaq have also joined the T20 garrison as reinforcement, with all this once again the question arises about the team selection and what is the playing XI for tomorrow’s T20? I think, Azhar and Asad should sit out as Nazir and Razzaq are more suitable for this format and Malik to replace injured Afridi.

Hence the playing XI will be:

Nasir Jamshed, Imran Nazir, Umar Akmal, Mohammad Hafeez, Kamran Akmal, Abdul Razzaq, Shoaib Malik, Sohail Tanvir, Junaid Khan, Saeed Ajmal, Umar Gul (His name is in the T20 squad, but not sure if he is joining the team?) Otherwise, it will be Yasir Arafat who will be the player to fill in the 11th spot.

Pakistan has 7 batsmen in this team which is more than enough, and in T20 you really don’t need so many batsmen, even 6 are fine. If six batsmen cannot score 150-160 runs then they should no play at this level.

Lets see how they play the first T20 tomorrow?