Wicked City

Wicked City

  1. #1 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 3, 2009 - 1:39 PM

    Hmm Javed you said you detected a change in moi. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

    I need to toughen up for the wider world. If I carry on being so emotional I would not last a day!

    Just a method I am trying out :d

  2. #2 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 3, 2009 - 1:46 PM

    DRC – those who say ‘they do not like to be praised, are lying because they only want to hear it again.’ so are you expecting me to say the change is good? My dear, the change must always be for good and betterment otherwise, it isn’t worth it. Even on the cricket page I have just mentioned something in response to your recent comment. Dosti aur masti may tung kerna aur leg pulling aside, this blog in terms of quality and it’s contents is much better than many cricket blogs that I know.


    I am not a detective to detect anything, I noticed the obvious, unless you think I am abdul? 😀

  3. #3 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 3, 2009 - 1:55 PM

    Not all changes are for the good, hence why I asked. Change should be for the better but it is not always the case.

    Oh and if you are Abdul…adios 😛

    Right better get to Uni now!

  4. #4 by Awas on March 3, 2009 - 3:41 PM

    This Wicked City poster looks pretty cool. Yoshiaki Kawajiri has made some wicked movies.

  5. #5 by Theossa on March 3, 2009 - 7:46 PM


    I like the animes in which women do not look like real like the ones with 42-14-48 figure 😀

  6. #6 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 4, 2009 - 6:00 AM

    DRC – Are you calling Theo a SADISTIC BOY? Tumharee Khair nahee, he will start delivering bouncers and yorkers @ you early morning.

  7. #7 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 1:30 PM


    Why DRC called me sadistic? What did I do? She is the one who kills thousands of lice every weekend by squeezing them between her two thumb nails and then dance in front of students 😀

  8. #8 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 1:44 PM

    DRC = JMC? (Joon Maar C) LOL, at your joon maar description, you forgot to add the sound effect, “tik” ….. is that dance a celebration or what? 😀

  9. #9 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 1:50 PM

    BREAKFAST time……. theo what did you have today? I mean for breakfast, because I know you have a tuna sandwich in your bag for your lunch. I am going to have Paratha, omelet and last night’s chapli kebab and chai. NOT to mention the Gajjar Ka Halwa, made from Pakistani Carrots. Like, mangoes we get Pakistani carrots here in cartons. I was getting sick of eating the pale & pheekay American and Canadian carrots. The Pakistani ones are so pink, in fact reddish pink and sweet and grown without any fertilizers, pesticides blah, blah. Like, I share Pakistani mangoes with my French neighbours, I gave them a few Pakistani carrots the other day and they couldn’t believe that carrots could be so tasty and delicious.

  10. #10 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 2:01 PM


    By making me feel bad about my deprivation, I wish you get diarrhea after eating Chai Paratha and what not. I had Chai, 2 Cinnamon bread with butter, and almond/cashews/cranberry trail mix for breakfast. For lunch I have ground beef, 4 slices of whole wheat bread, cucumber and carrots. Not bad han!

  11. #11 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 2:08 PM

    Boss and his Secretary …

    A Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down.

    His secretary walked up to him and asked, “Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?” This was not a phrase that her Boss understood, so he went into his office looking a bit puzzled.

    When he was about done! with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his Zipper was not zipped up.
    He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, finally understood.

    He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary.

    When he reached her desk, he said, “When you saw the garage door open did you see my jaguar parked in there?”

    The secretary smiled for a moment and said, “No, Boss I didn’t. All I saw was a Maruti 800 with 2 flat tires.”

  12. #12 by khansahab on March 5, 2009 - 2:10 PM

    My breakfast is usually 1 toast or Pakistani “cake rusk” with tea 😦

    And that tea is the English kettle tea, which tastes more like hot water with sugar 😦

    I vaguely remember the bread and tea we used to have in Pakistan. The bread was so much more wholesome, sweet and nourishing. The tea used to taste strong and viscous like how tea should be.

    For lunch I had a chicken steak burger with cheese, ketchup, burger sauce, sweet chilli sauce, mayonnaise, garlic peri-peri sauce and margarine 🙂 Sometimes I also put mustard and olive slices. My burgers are full of different sauces.

  13. #13 by khansahab on March 5, 2009 - 2:15 PM

    LOL @ Maruti with flat tyres 🙂

  14. #14 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 2:22 PM

    LOL at Munir, I guess the secretary had rode in all kinds of car 😉


    Your lunch sounds very manly! Good stuff there. I love steak burgers but I like make them with real steak, medium done, and I use a chunk not the ground steak 😎

  15. #15 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 2:24 PM

    LOL at Munir, I guess the secretary had rode in all kinds of car 😉


    Your lunch sounds very manly! Good stuff there. I love steak burgers but I like to make them with real steak, medium done, and I use a chunk not the ground steak 😎

  16. #16 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 2:26 PM

    A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’

    The husband looked at her from head to toe and replied politely: ‘I like your sense of humor, the most!’ 😉

  17. #17 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 2:29 PM

    Khan Sahab …

    Seems like you use your ‘sauces’ in place of ‘Salan’ … LOL

  18. #18 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 2:35 PM

    LOL @ 19’

    Munir you look in very good form today 🙂

  19. #19 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 2:37 PM


    On your BASS – CUTREE joke, just a few days ago I got the same one from a friend who lives in the USA and, by the time it reached Dubai the car make and model changed from Chrysler Van to Maruti 800. Just like the Hollywood movies are changed in Bollywood. 😀

  20. #20 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 2:38 PM

    A newly married man asked his wife lovingly, ‘Baby, would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’

    ‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’ 😉

  21. #21 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 2:38 PM


    U eat garlic sauce at work? OMG, it is KIRMINULL to do that. In Germany it is considered extremely rude to eat garlic and come to work. Therefore, they eat only on week-ends to keep their spouses away from each other.

  22. #22 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 2:40 PM

    ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’

    Thats what the Goreez and the Gippoze do the Buddooz 🙂

  23. #23 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 2:45 PM


    Sorry have been a bit busy lately and am not able to contribute more often.

    Ok, gotta go now …

    Idhar Se Guzra Tha Soucha Salaam Karta Chaloon
    Mera Yeh Shauk Ke Sab Se Qalaam Karta Chaloon

    Yeh Mere Khabon Ki Duniya Nahin Sahi Laikin
    Ab Aa Gaya Hoon Tu Do Din Qyaam Karta Chaloon

  24. #24 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 2:46 PM

    LOL @ Javed ……

    Yes, you are right about the Buddooz 😉

  25. #25 by khansahab on March 5, 2009 - 2:48 PM

    Javed A Khan

    I’m off these days, hence I am on the blog so much. And I have all these ingredients at home so I can use them at my leisure 🙂

  26. #26 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 2:50 PM

    Munir do din ka mehmaan hai Legslip per laiken
    Jee mien aaye keh es ke jaib saaf kerta chalon

  27. #27 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 2:53 PM

    Munir Qayaam tou Qaaf say hota hai magar Kalaam Qaaf say nahee Kaaf say unless you are a HYDERABADI.

    The Hyderabadi lady teacher (Bushra Ansari) asks her student:
    Chalo board pay Khatra Likho
    The student writes, Khatra
    She says, yae Khatra nai, Paani ka Khatra. 😀

    Btw, do you know what Gippoz means?

  28. #28 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 2:54 PM

    LOL @ Theossa and his “Fil-Badee” Shaairee 🙂

  29. #29 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 2:55 PM

    On Theo’s suggestion, don’t you like 300lb of love?
    Depends on whether it is above or below! :8

  30. #30 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 2:56 PM

    @ Javed 31

    I suppose you did not mean a guy there.

  31. #31 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 2:58 PM

    No I don’t, but I thought it must be someone who Buddooz mostly get married to 😉

    And so you rememdered the word “Hyderabadi”. BTW, for Hyderabadi, we call them:

    Hyderabadi, Na Nur Na Maadi 😈

  32. #32 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 2:58 PM

    Theo no, I mean Natalie Portman 😀
    Unless that Portman is not a woman, then I know why you are so madly in love with Natalie. 😀

  33. #33 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 5, 2009 - 3:00 PM

    No I wasn’t referring to you Theo1

  34. #34 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:01 PM

    Munir ……. Gippoz is for Egyptians, this name was coined by our friends in Dubai. They are fat like Hippoz and they don’t say JEEM, they say GEEM. The females are referred as GIPPANS but, I wrote Gippoz to generalize, its just a joke. 🙂

  35. #35 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:02 PM

    LOL@ safai wali DRC 😀
    woteva DRC, he described a good picture of JMC.

  36. #36 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:06 PM

    Btw, if you were not referring to Theo, then were you pointing your fingers towards me or abdul?

  37. #37 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 5, 2009 - 3:09 PM

    No it’s nobody. It is fine.

    BTW can anyone tell me why once you have defrosted something, you cannot re-freeze it?

  38. #38 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 3:10 PM


    Don’t bother DRC right now; she is busy scratching her itchy scalp.

  39. #39 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:12 PM

    If it is just water, you can refreeze it. But, all other things can get contaminated whether cooked or uncooked, so its better not to refreeze and it must be cooked and eaten.

  40. #40 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 3:15 PM

    DRC @ can anyone tell me why once you have defrosted something, you cannot re-freeze it?

    Because for some reasons, a lot of lice get attached to it as soon DRC defrost it, LOL

  41. #41 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 5, 2009 - 3:16 PM

    What if it is a dessert? Say you don’t want to eat it and there is too much of it but it has been half defrosted?

    Yeah Theo 😀 Scratching my scalf gives me something to do whilst I am writing my essays!

  42. #42 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 3:19 PM

    DRC, If u defrost meat then u must cook it, cuz of bacteria contamination. But if u thaw it in the refrigerator, u can refreeze it, but at the loss of the quality of the food. So it’s best that u cook wat ever it is uve defrosted & then freeze it.

  43. #43 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:20 PM

    Here is a forward, forward email and I am copy pasting it for you guys to read it and comment on it. Do you think this could really save a life?


    From Prof Irene Liu, a Chinese Professor.

    Keep a syringe or needle in your home to do this… It’s amazing and an nconventional way of recovering from stroke, read it through it can help somebody one day.

    Do take a minute to read this. You’ll never know, one’s life may depend on you. My father was paralysed and later died from the result of a stroke. I wish I knew about this first aid before. When stroke strikes, the capillaries in the brain will gradually burst. (Irene Liu)

    When a stroke occurs, stay calm…. No matter where the victim is, do not move him/her. Because, if moved, the capillaries will burst. Help the victim to sit up where he/she is to prevent him/her from falling over again and then the blood letting can begin.

    If you have in your home an injection syringe that would be the best. Otherwise, a sewing needle or a straight pin will do.

    1. Place the needle/pin over fire to sterilize it and then use it to prick the tip of all 10 fingers.
    2. There are no specific acupuncture points, just prick about an mm from the fingernail.
    3. Prick till blood comes out.
    4. If blood does not start to drip, then squeeze with your fingers.
    5. When all 10 digits are bleeding, wait a few minutes then the victim will regain consciousness.
    6. If the victim’s mouth is crooked, then pull on his ears until they are red.
    7. Then prick each earlobe twice until two drops of blood comes from each earlobe.
    After a few minutes the victim should regain consciousness.

    Wait till the victim regains his/her normal state without any abnormal symptoms then take him to the hospital. Otherwise, if he/she was taken in the ambulance in a hurry to the hospital, the bumpy trip will cause all the capillaries in his/her brain to burst.

    ‘I learned about letting blood to save life from Chinese traditional doctor, Ha Bu Ting, who lives in Sun Juke. Furthermore, I had practical experience with it. Therefore, I can say this method is 100% effective.’

    In 1979, I was teaching in Fung Gaap College in Tai Chung. One afternoon, I was teaching a class when another teacher came running to my classroom and said panting, ‘Ms Liu, come quick, our supervisor has had a stroke!’.

    I immediately went to the 3rd floor. When I saw our supervisor, Mr. Chen Fu Tien, his colour was off, his speech was slurred, his mouth was crooked – all the symptoms of a stroke.

    I immediately asked one of the practicum students to go to the pharmacy outside the school to buy a syringe, which I used to prick Mr. Chen’s 10 finger tips. When all 10 fingers were bleeding (each with a pea-sized drop of blood), after a few minutes, Mr. Chen’s face regained its colour and his eyes’ spirit returned, too. But his mouth was still crooked. So I pulled on his ears to fill them with blood. When his ears became red, I pricked his right earlobe twice to let out two drops of blood. When both earlobes had two drops of blood each, a miracle happened.

    Within 3-5 minutes the shape of his mouth returned to normal and his speech became clear. We let him rest for a while and have a cup of hot tea, then we helped him go down the stairs, drove him to Wei Wah Hospital. He rested one night and was released the next day to return to school to teach. Everything worked normally. There were no ill after effects.

    On the other hand, the usual stroke victim usually suffers irreparable bursting of the brain capillaries on the way to the hospital. As a result, these victims never recover.

    Therefore, stroke is the second cause of death. The lucky ones will stay alive but can remain paralysed for life. It is such a horrible thing to happen in one’s life. If we can all remember this blood letting method and start the life saving process immediately, in a short time, the victim will be revived and regain 100% normality. UNQUOTE.

  44. #44 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:29 PM

    Sweetie, I won’t do that, once thawed – you have to cook it. Besides, it is a desi conception of refreezing it if it was thawed and kept in fridge. Some people always leave food on the kitchen shelves or dining table for hours before keeping it in the fridge. They say if you keep the food outside at room temperatures for 4 hours, don’t even feed it to your dog. Some items such as dairy, fish, shrimps etc., get contaminated within 2 hours. The smelly bacteria comes much later i.e., when the food starts decaying but the bad bacteria starts much before that.

    DRC dessert kha kha ker moti ho jao gee, dafa kero – kisi ko day do ya bin may daal dou 😀

  45. #45 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:32 PM

    Theo, you are so fond of hunting that now you are targeting DRC’s lice, and you wish you had a gun to shoot them, right? You can take those water guns fill in tik-20, phenol or DDT and then you can shoot 😀

  46. #46 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:34 PM

    Yeah Theo 😀 Scratching my scalf gives me something to do whilst I am writing my essays!

    DRC, prolly you don’t know what Theo scratches while he is doing work? 😀 Something that you don’t have.

  47. #47 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 5, 2009 - 3:34 PM

    A few of my friends were going to come round later for dinner so I took the dessert out but I don’t feel well enough so I told them to come at the weekend instead. I guess I will leave it in the fridge for the time being.

    I don’t want to get moti 😦

  48. #48 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:36 PM

    Accha tell me what kinda dessert it is? I will tell you if its safe to keep in the fridge for another 2-3 days? DRC bolo bolo.

  49. #49 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 5, 2009 - 3:38 PM

    Blackforest Gateau. It should be ok I think.

    I am going to rest. Allah Hafiz

  50. #50 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:39 PM

    Sweetie khistaon pay? I mean whats wrong with you? You write a comment and then you wait for an hour or may be a few. I can understand Theo’s situation, he cannot write if his boss walks in to his room or his wife calls him. In fact she is the real boss, she keeps tabs on him while he is at work by using webcam. 😀

  51. #51 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 3:40 PM

    Blackforest Gateau ufffffffffff loaded with cream! And you think you won’t get moti ? Are you dreaming? Btw, its OK to keep that till Friday evening. 😉

  52. #52 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 5, 2009 - 3:41 PM

    Who says I will eat it 😛

    Allah Hafiz

  53. #53 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 3:41 PM

    Javed, Ziyad is sick. Hes been throwing up & has had a fever since yesterday. Hes still in bed & it’s his birthday.

  54. #54 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 3:41 PM

    Javed, sweetie, DRC

    I like you the way you ladies are having a kitchen talk 😀

    Yes DRC when I visit U.K. please let me hunt your lice with Coopex Spray, if your hair are fizzy enough I can use a BB gun for individual louse that might be hanging by your hair. Don’t worry I’m a good shoote that if you don’t move.

    And don’t worry as long as those millions lice keep sucking your blood you won’t get moti, that’s a diet help right in your sur 😀

  55. #55 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 3:43 PM

    Javed, sweetie, DRC

    I like the way you ladies are having a kitchen talk 😀

    Yes DRC when I visit U.K. please let me hunt your lice with Coopex Spray, if your hair are fizzy enough I can use a BB gun for individual louse that might be hanging by your hair. Don’t worry I’m a good shooter that if you don’t move.

    And don’t worry as long as those millions lice keep sucking your blood you won’t get moti, that’s a diet help right in your sur 😀

  56. #56 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 3:43 PM

    Javed i made Tiramisu a few days back, & it was GOOD!! 😛

  57. #57 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 3:44 PM

    DRC, do not refreeze the cake, cuz it’ll be pudding the next time u thaw or defrost it! lol

  58. #58 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 3:46 PM

    Theo, why don’t u pay me a visit with Natalie? I’ll make Tiramisu & haleem for u!

  59. #59 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 3:47 PM

    Theo, is that Clint Eastwood?

  60. #60 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 3:52 PM

    No Sweetie, it’s me when I was young and when I used to smoke marijuana back in college days 😀

    Oh, for Haleem I’ll visit you with my real Natalie. She might get a little jealous though.

  61. #61 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 3:55 PM


    Lugta hai Javed ke Hundia jul gaye. Bechara bhaag gaya.

  62. #62 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 3:56 PM

    lol I didnt know u looked like Clint Eastwood!!
    By Natalie i did mean ure Natalie, but why would she be jealous?? The haleem or Tiramisu?

  63. #63 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 3:58 PM

    LOL @ Javed’s Hundia. He’s prolly gone to pick up the parathey from Mehbooba! lol

  64. #64 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 4:00 PM

    Sweetie jealousy is a girl thing I guess and you should know it better than me. She wants to keep me all for herself 😥

  65. #65 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 4:17 PM

    lol… I didnt invite u to keep u for myself! I was being nice sniff** & shes invited too!

  66. #66 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 4:24 PM

    LOL, I was saying that in a general sense, you embarrassed me 😦

  67. #67 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 4:26 PM

    NO, change of plans. I, Javed, and Omar are coming to eat your Haleem. I like girl stay at home while I go eat out. Hehe.

    Btw, what is Tiramisu?

  68. #68 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 5:55 PM

    HEY! why is everything upside down? lol This comment box should be right on top =(

  69. #69 by khansahab on March 5, 2009 - 6:06 PM


    Everything is the same, except that now the recent comments will be at the top, and every page will store a max of 100 comments. This is to facilitate people with slower computers.
    In order to view older comments you will have to scroll to the bottom of the page and click, “Older Comments”.

  70. #70 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 6:15 PM

    Everything is fine on my computer, people should stop hanging from a tree while using thier lap top.

  71. #71 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 6:34 PM

    Khan Sahab …

    This ‘ulta-pulta’ looks better and I guess it is more apprpriate to have the latest comments on the top of the page.

    Javed Khan …

    LOL @ Gippoz & Gippans.

    Who is his right mind can ever “de-code” a word like this.

    Theossa …

    Trimisu is something like “Satara-Masha” 😀

  72. #72 by Mohammed Munir on March 5, 2009 - 6:50 PM

    Khan Sahab …

    One point about this new ‘Ulta-Pulta’ system of having fresh comments on top.

    Althoug I like it this way, but the problem seems that each time a new comment is posted it is numbered as “No. 1”, and so the earlier/ lower comments will keep changing their numbers with new comments posted. For example, a comment which is no. 53 today can be no. 78 tomorrow and thus it will be difficult to refer to exact earlier comments.

    I suggest one solution will be to have new numbers given to latest comments and have “no. 1” comment at the bottom of the page which will be a permanent numbering of all comments, rather then changing numbers.

    Hope you will fix it in your own way.

  73. #73 by khansahab on March 5, 2009 - 6:52 PM

    Munir sahab

    I understand what you’re saying but it can’t be fixed unfortunately. This new system of latest comments being on top only came a few weeks ago and I actually noticed it today.

    I think the WordPress people will receive criticism for not keeping the comment numbers “fixed” and hence I envisage we will be seeing changes soon.

  74. #74 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 7:08 PM

    Munir Khana

    Nin shpey de rotey ke so khwadali dee bacha?

  75. #75 by Theossa on March 5, 2009 - 7:11 PM


    That Balochi page made a lot of monitors hazy!

  76. #76 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 5, 2009 - 7:25 PM

    I already had made that suessgeston, posting recent comments on the top, but this is annoying cuz the comment box is at the bottom.. urghh

  77. #77 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 5, 2009 - 11:58 PM

    I like you the way you ladies are having a kitchen talk 😀 Yes DRC when I visit U.K. please let me hunt your lice with Coopex Spray, Theo.

    Theo, first of all you should know that ALL the best cooks in the world are MEN. Secondly, if you know so much about killing lice that one needs Coopex Spray then you must be a Jullee, Kuttee Aunty to know all this.

    Btw, I was out on a business lunch remember how much you curse me for eating Paratha? If I tell you what I ate, then Theo you would be JULLOWING and SURROWING for the rest of the week. So, I better not ruin your entire week-end starting from tomorrow. 😀

  78. #78 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 12:11 AM

    Sweetie, sorry to hear about Ziad, I hope and wish him a speedy recovery.

    BTW, iss Theo Fataan ko yae hee nai pata kay Tiramisu kya hai? Its like bunder adrak ka mazaa kya janay! Or Gadhay ko Zaafraan ki kya qadr? Ya, Bhains jis ka naam Natalie hai uskay aagay been kya bajana? aiksutra, aiksutra…. 😀

  79. #79 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 12:16 AM

    Munir on your suggestion about ulta pulta numbers, “I donna, donna no wat u taakin” bakaoz … I don’t use those pages, I use the admin page to write comments so all the pages, be it V-talk, Politics, cricket, etc. are on one single page so for me its the “same difference”.

    Btw, that Gippoz & Gippans is based on Mulloos & Mullans 😉

    Aur “Junaabb-e-aali,” Channay ka payer nahee hota balkay “DurrKHatt” hota hai. 😀

  80. #80 by khansahab on March 6, 2009 - 12:26 AM

    Just read about Ziyad…GF!

    Hope he recovers soon, Inshallah!

    By the way I went to see the doctor today and was given a nasal spray 🙂 Nothing serious, cough and sore throat will take time, the doc said….

  81. #81 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 6, 2009 - 1:43 AM

    Thanks BF & Javed. He’s still not ok & might stay home again tomorrow. His birthday all ruined. =(

  82. #82 by Vanilla pod on March 6, 2009 - 10:56 AM


    Ziad needs antibiotics asap! this bug is everywhere these days. my brother was so ill with similar infection recently.

  83. #83 by Vanilla pod on March 6, 2009 - 10:59 AM

    Theo’s obsession with DRC’s lice is a reflection of painful, lice-related incident(s), he may hav experienced in his childhood

  84. #84 by Theossa on March 6, 2009 - 1:24 PM


    You are spot on about lice! When I was little I had quite a few so I was given a Coopex Spray treatment in my hair but all those hell burnt lice didn’t die so I end up having a shaved head i.e. no hair, no lice 😀

    So my sincere recommendation to DRC is to get her head shaved. She can wear a nice looking wig in the meanwhile just like the one Sweetie is wearing. Speaking of hair, do you also wear a wig like rest of the gals who contribute on LS? 😆


    Since you have a Phd degree in Umoore Khanadari I have a question for you; is there a quick way to clean blood stains and smell (Fish and Deer) from gloves and apparel? May be other ladies can also help me out here.

  85. #85 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 2:40 PM

    LOL @ VP’s “Licealysis” of Theo’s childhood. So, he confessed for being bitten and smitten by lice, no wonder his “Dimaghi Tawazun is ulta pulta” 😀

    As regards antibiotics, if the infection is bacterial then it is OK, but for viral infection you don’t give antibiotics. Btw, VP how old is your kid brother? Is he nursery going age or what? Kids of that age usually get sick till their immune system is stabilized.

    Theo – there is a difference between being knowledgeable and being just a man. And in today’s world there are no definite job descriptions that are solely meant for a specific gender. It is this old conventional “Dakhiyanoosi” theory that certain jobs are meant for males and another set for females. Like I said before, ALL the best cooks in the world are males – is a fact. And, my mother is the best cook in the world is a cliche.

    Anyways to answer your question for bloodstains if you immediately spray “Hydrogen Peroxide” it helps in removing them. If you do it immediately then the stains are almost gone but, the longer you leave it the difficult it is to wash it out completely. Bleach is another way, but for bloodstains hydrogen peroxide is the best, you get spray bottles in pharmacies. Also, if you dry those stained clothes in the sun, the ultra-violet rays help in fading off the stains. Especially the Haldi or turmeric stains which are hard to remove usually disappear if you dry it out in the sun.

    As for smells in the gloves and apparels you have to use a lot of BAKING POWDER, which you get in the supermarkets. Fill the gloves with it and leave it outdoors, especially in the sun. Even the wood-charcoal also absorbs the bad smells and odours if you keep some wrapped in tissue paper or kitchen paper rolls. Both are used to eliminate the unwanted smelly odours from the fridges and the freezers.

  86. #86 by Theossa on March 6, 2009 - 2:54 PM

    Javed @ in today’s world there are no definite job descriptions that are solely meant for a specific gender

    Hey you must have made the feminists very happy there, whatever works for you, LOL. And thanks for the recipes; I’m sure going to try it. One question though, does Hydrogen peroxide or baking soda hurt the cloth colors?

  87. #87 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 3:09 PM

    does Hydrogen peroxide or baking soda hurt the cloth colors? Theo

    NO, but bleach does. There is another way of cleaning stains. Especially spot cleaning. Forget about those branded spot cleaners such as “shout” and “spot-on” etc., if the spot is on your shirt or trousers and you want to clean it with bleach without discolouring the apparel you should do this.

    Lay the apparel on a table or a counter, keep a white clean piece of cloth under the spot and, take another clean white piece of cloth soak it in pure concentrated bleach and then squeeze it so that the bleach doesn’t drip and then scrub it over the stain quickly five six times and then use another dry cloth to absorb the bleach and IMMEDIATELY wash that spot with cold water, use a lot of water to get the bleach out of the apparel, this helps in removing the stain without damaging the apparel. All this must happen within 30 seconds.

    There is another item in the market called CLR which stands for Calcium Lime and Rust it is advertised on TV so it is expensive, the same chemicals are used under a different name or generic name and is sold at 1/4th price and it is as good as the branded name. That is usually for removing very hard stains such as rust from sinks, calcium from tiles and kettles and pots, showers etc. but, the same can be used for cleaning small hard to remove spots by using a cotton swab or ear buds, by dipping them in the concentrated liquid and rubbing it over the stain and immediately washing it with cold water. The chemicals or even the bleach if it stays for more than a few minutes will damage the fabric. So, better be careful when using.

    Btw, have you heard of sham wow? The German fabric that absorbs water, its good to have it at home. Ideal for cleaning cars from inside and also windshield glass etc.

  88. #88 by Theossa on March 6, 2009 - 3:25 PM

    Thanks Javed, I’ll print those recipes and will ask my spouse to perform all those operations on my stained and would be stained clothes while I go night fishing in Lake Erie. Clint Eastwood said, there are two kind of people in this world, ones who go fishing and the others who wash and clean the dirty laundry 😀

  89. #89 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 3:42 PM

    You know Theo, Clint Eastwood’s brain is just like an old tree dead lumber. So, if you wanna be happy quoting him I can sing, “Don’t worry Be Happy.”

    I know how to do things be it cooking or, anything for that matter. But, I pity those poor pathetic souls who do not know the basics of anything such as how to remove a stain from their apparels? Because they don’t know that they have bigger stains in their brains that cannot be removed with any detergent, not even by eating Tuna Fish sandwiches all their lives.

    And, I also pity for their spouses who have no time to cook a good meal for their male spouses and tjey simply open a tuna fish can and lump it in two slices of bread and call it a “saand-wich” and give it to their mates and they live happily ever after. 😀

  90. #90 by Theossa on March 6, 2009 - 3:50 PM


    LOL, I like your last two posts, one on the “The Death of International Cricket in Pakistan” and other one here on V-8 page.
    Just look at this piece you wrote, But, I pity those poor pathetic souls who do not know the basics of anything such as how to remove a stain from their apparels? Because they don’t know that they have bigger stains in their brains that cannot be removed with any detergent, not even by eating Tuna Fish sandwiches all their lives

    Hahaha, did I get to you big time or what? I didn’t know you were that sensitive about your Umoore Khanadari 😀 If you bieng Naraaz like that I won’t touch that subject, aight? LOL.

  91. #91 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 3:56 PM

    Theo, no man I am enjoying your comments as much as you enjoy your tuna sandwiches 😀

    I am very dheet in many ways so calling me sensitive is like sticking a “Save the Dophin” sticker on a Japanese Fishing Trawler 😉 So, please go ahead and discuss avec moi any subject. The “Playerrr” (pleasure in punjabi accent) is all mine. 😀

  92. #92 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 4:00 PM

    Theo yaar mazaa nahee aata ……… you type slower than our Mr. M. Y. Kassim, why don’t you improve your typing skills? I get bored waiting for a response and then I go away and you think I ran away! 😀 Just look at my comments, they are all over this blog and you, you are stuck in that tuna can 😉 Have a break, have a kit-kat.

  93. #93 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 4:06 PM

    I know theo will say he got a call from his boss (home ministry) thats why he couldn’t reply. On Umoor-e-Khaana Daari, I remember when we used to go to Karachi Cricket Stadium to see a match, nearby there is a College of Home Economics for girls, called “KHATOON-E-PAKISTAN” and they used to bunk the classes and come to the stadium wearing white uniforms and a badge of their college and they used to come in flocks and guys used to say, “aagayeen Kartoon-e-pakistan.” Man, those chicks were really hot.

  94. #94 by Theossa on March 6, 2009 - 4:09 PM

    Well, I’m slow because I need to get some work done also, LOL. Ok here is the new game plan, I’m writing the translation of a Ghani Khan’s poem, you reply with any:

    Let death overtake me
    Whenever it will;
    It will find me prepared,
    With a flower in hand,
    Or mounted upon
    A snorting steed;
    Or a gun in hand,
    Or quill and ink;
    And drowned in laughter
    The cares of the world;
    Whatever’s in store,
    Is enough, no more!
    Let death overtake me
    Whenever it will.

  95. #95 by Theossa on March 6, 2009 - 4:13 PM

    Javed, LOL @ “aagayeen Kartoon-e-pakistan.”

    I used to go chick hunting at Sir Siyyed College, Nazimabad where I had crushes on several girls. We used to say, they admit girls in Sir Siyyed College after having a beauty contest and not the school grade.

  96. #96 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 4:14 PM

    Well, I’m slow because I need to get some work done also, LOL. theo

    See I know what was coming, being an akhroat myself I know what the dushman fataan is thinking? 😀

    On your sad poetry, I don’t like to discuss death so early in the morning, for your pessimistic way of thinking, may be it is:

    Ho chukeen balayain sub tamaam
    Ek Marg-e-nagaahani aur hai.

    But, for me and my optimism
    Mushkilain mujh pay pareen itni kay aasaan ho gayeen. 😀

  97. #97 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 4:18 PM

    Accha? I used to think that girls at Sir Syed College were all Niqaab Posh Ninja Turtles!


    Shaoq har rang raqeeb-e-sar-o-saman nikla
    Qais tasveer kay parday may bhi uriyaan nikla

    😀 😀

  98. #98 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 4:24 PM

    OK yaar theo, before you open your smelly tuna fish sandwich and spread the fishy smell all over the blog, I wanna take a break for the following reasons:

    1. This morning I only had a few Paapay (rusk) with tea and some Gajjar ka Halwa.
    2. Therefore, I am hungry now and it is time for me to go for a kill, Paratha breakfast ….
    3. Being a good Jew, I always go for Jumma prayers at the mosque. At least I say my prayers Jummay ko Jumma.

    So good “bouy”, tata-bata woteva!


    Khansahab or Awas, tusi naayday ajao tay aa ker blog ich commentaan approve kero. 😀 Varna Theo noo cans-tea-pation ho jai ga after eating tuna cans!

  99. #99 by Theossa on March 6, 2009 - 4:26 PM

    Aaahahaha at “Qais tasveer kay parday may bhi uriyaan nikla”. Good one there.

    But I know you as well;

    Kia baandhe kus ke jo mere bala durre
    Kia Jaanta nahin hon tumhari kamar ko mien


  100. #100 by Theossa on March 6, 2009 - 4:28 PM

    Ok Moulana Javed Jumma Khan, see you later.

  101. #101 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 4:36 PM

    Theo: on your sher’s last misra here is something for u to enjoy.

    Kammur may khumm zaof say nahee Qamar
    Mai jhukk kay dhoondta hoon Jawani kidher gayee? (Qamar Jalalwi)

    similar meaning sher by a different poet.

    Kummur may qum bay wajha nahee mai peeri may
    Zameen dhoondta hoon Mazaar kay Qabil (Qabil Ajmeri)

    Another good one from Qamar Jalalwi:

    Dubaa kay chall diyeh qabr may dua na salaam
    zaraa see der may yae kya ho gaya zamanay ko?

    And, the best one is from Shaad Azeemabadi:

    Chaar Paher yae fikr thee Pehlay
    Qaid say hoon Azaad Kaheen
    Ab durr hai yae bay baal-o-barri may
    Chorr na day Saiyaad Kaheen.

    Saiyaad = Hunter

    Bay baal O barri means, weak wings or the lack of power to fly.

    Earlier there was a burning desire all the time to get free, but now after being caged for so long that the power to fly has diminished and now if the hunter releases me, I won’t be able to fly……. so there is an element of fear now just like Habib Wali Mohammad’s ……… Ubbb Rihaaeee Millay gee tou Murrr jayenge! Aashiyaan Jull gay Gull sitaan lutt gayaaa… 😀


  102. #102 by Vanilla pod on March 6, 2009 - 5:01 PM

    Battle of the sexes

    5 reasons why boys are better than girls

    5. Men are funnier
    4. Men have a higher tolerance to alcohol
    3. Men make better dieters
    2. Men feel the cold less
    1. Men are stronger

    5 reasons why girls are better than boys

    5. Girls perform better at school
    4. Women live longer
    3. Women make better citizens
    2. Women are safer drivers
    1. Women are more cooperative

    P.S. this is not my personal analysis, copied from msn.co.uk

  103. #103 by Awas on March 6, 2009 - 5:30 PM


    Men are funnier”….Hummm

    So, between the two buddies’ khansahab and Abdul Bin…, who do you find funnier?

    I don’t believe in:

    2. Women are safer drivers
    1. Women are more cooperative

  104. #104 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 6, 2009 - 7:30 PM

    I am agree about women as safer drivers……….they are not.

    A man in his late sixties appeared in the London court in front of a judge on charges of a road accident, the judge saw his clean and immaculate record of 45 years driving without any accident and was amazed and asked him, how come he had an accident now?

    The man replied, ‘in my 45 years of driving experience when I was behind a lady and for the first time it happened that she gave an indicator to turn right and she turned right! 😀

    In Canada, the worst drivers are Chinese people and even worst are their females. Therefore, in Toronto the insurance for people from Chinese background is more than double than the rate that is applied for other nationalities, call it a discrimination? Yes, but the insurance companies do not think like that, bakaoz, they have dished out millions of dollars in claims.

  105. #105 by Mohammed Munir on March 7, 2009 - 6:24 AM

    Theossa Khana

    You asked, “Munir Khana, Nin shpey de rotey ke so khwadali dee bacha?”

    Pa qasam de bawar shta che ze ta tangoono ya preshaana kolo de para ne wayam, hu ma de ziyarat pe shpa chicken biryaani khwarili wa.

    Us zama na da tapoos ma kawa cha da biryani cha pakha keri wa, waly che ze de Javid Khan pe shandi akhpala talkaari na pakhum 😉 Bilkul laka de zangal bacha (shair) che senga hagha khapala zaan de para shikaar na kawee.

  106. #106 by Mohammed Munir on March 7, 2009 - 7:03 AM

    President Bush’s 8 Year Tenure at Whitehouse …


    – Bin Ladin
    – Iraq War
    – Afghanistan War
    – Abu Gharib (Iraq Prinsion)
    – Economy
    – USA Unemployment
    – Environment
    – 911
    – Terrorism
    – Rest of the World


    – Dodged that Shoe in Iraq 😆

  107. #107 by Mohammed Munir on March 7, 2009 - 8:14 AM

    Theossa …

    I don’t know if you are aware that recently (on 5th March 2009), some terrorist guys exploded a powerful bomb at the Mazaar of Rahman Baba, the famous Sufi Pushto poet. According to sources the main reason for bomb explosion was said to be to stop the attendance of large number of women at the mausoleum.

    Here is the link:


  108. #108 by Mohammed Munir on March 7, 2009 - 8:23 AM

    English Translations of Poem of Rahman Baba (Sow Flowers):

    Sow flowers so your surroundings become a garden
    Don’t sow thorns; for they will prick your feet

    If you shoot arrows at others,
    Know that the same arrow will come back to hit you.

    Don’t dig a well in another’s path,
    In case you come to the well’s edge

    You look at everyone with hungry eyes
    But you will be first to become mere dirt.

    Humans are all one body,
    Whoever tortures another, wounds himself.

  109. #109 by Mohammed Munir on March 7, 2009 - 9:29 AM

    A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, ‘You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we’re on the fire truck ready to go.

    ‘From now on when I say BELL 1’ I want you to strip naked.

    When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.

    And when I say BELL 3, We are going to make love all night.

    ‘The next night he came home from work and yelled’

    BELL 1!’ The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

    When he yelled ‘BELL 2!’, the wife jumped into bed.

    When he yelled ‘BELL 3!’, they began making love.

    After a few minutes the wife yelled ‘BELL 4!’

    ‘What the hell is BELL 4?’ asked the husband?


  110. #110 by Vanilla pod on March 7, 2009 - 6:21 PM


    U see, one of them has to put in effort to be funny, the other just comes naturally 😀

    i believe in women are safer drivers and women are more cooperative 😀

  111. #111 by Abdul on March 7, 2009 - 7:10 PM

    Right exams commence on Monday for the week. Not much nerves or tension though for a change and that’s probably the best method to go about the business of which I’ve discovered. Stress bursts don’t get u anywhere do they ?

    So I’m pretty much booked for the week and have been working hard.

    Inshallah I can be here in a couple of weeks with a positive outcome.

  112. #112 by Mohammed Munir on March 7, 2009 - 7:23 PM

    Abdul …

    Good luck for your exams and wish you all the best for great results and a bright future ahead of you.

    You will be missed at LS.

  113. #113 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 8, 2009 - 4:24 PM


  114. #114 by khansahab on March 8, 2009 - 4:27 PM

    Why sad DRC?

    Am you ill?

  115. #115 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 8, 2009 - 4:43 PM

    *the not he. Apologies.

    I am going back to bed.

    Allah Hafiz

  116. #116 by Theossa on March 9, 2009 - 12:34 PM

    LOL Munir at your bell joke, you always find small hoses amusing 😉

    I’m aware of the Rehman Baba’s Mazaar partial destruction. It sickens me to my stomach that these cowards could do such an act, absolutely shameful. I reported that incident the same say and showed my emotions here on another LS page.

    Mackawa Munira, de gharibano zidgono sara da lobe mackawa. Ow manum de Bacha, asal nurr Pukhtoon ye. Da bal kho khaze khushalye 😀

    Ma pa de weekend baande yawa shpa ow yawa ruz de mahyano khkaar ukdo. Paroon shpe munga ow yaw Urdu Speaking family de mahyano BBQ, deep fry, ow de fish curry party ukda. Yara dier khkole mosam wo, Lug lug baraan woo, ow de khwaraak na pus chai ow cigarette dera maza ukda.

  117. #117 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 9, 2009 - 1:20 PM

    LOL Theo, you won’t get a reply from Munir today, may be tomorrow when he gets the translation from Pushto to Urdu and vice versa for replying to your comment, until then he is busy! 😀

    So, how was your week-end avec Natalie in your dreams? 😀

  118. #118 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 9, 2009 - 1:39 PM

    Sweetie, how is Ziyad? I hope he is better? Blog ki Zeenat kam ho gayee, Jaan ki Aman paaon tou kuch arz keroon! 🙂 Take care.

  119. #119 by Theossa on March 9, 2009 - 1:54 PM

    LOL Javed, do you think Munir can’t speak Pushto? Too bad I thought he was a real deal!

    I know you don’t like hunting and fishing stories but since you asked about my weekend I must tell you some 😀

    I went to Walnut Creek in Erie County Pennsylvania with a friend to fish for Steelhead. It’s a 3.5 hours drive from home, we left Friday evening and fished all night and all day Saturday. I caught like 14 fish using fly rod and artificial flies as bait. Since only 3 fish are allowed to keep, we just waited for the bigger ones. I ended up one 8 lbs, and two close to 7lbs. I love the Steelhead fishing because they are tough to catch and even tougher to reel in. We use only 4 lb test line as these fish won’t hit a thicker line. Now imagine you catch an 8 pounder with a 4 lb line, one exciting fight to remember. If you read about Steelhead online you’ll notice that these are one of the most challenging fish to catch and gives hell of a fight, they snap the line quite often. I remember the first time I went I could only land one fish and rest of them snapped my line. But now I know the tricks so I’m getting very good. My bud is a Steelhead Guru so I learned a lot from him.

    Anyways, I brought the fish back, met an Urdu Speaking friend (makes very good Egg Halwa) here whose wife is an excellent cook (She puts Village and LaL Qila to shame). So we cleaned the fish and made steaks. On Sunday I and my wife made fish BBQ while his wife made fried fish and fish curry. I also invited a friend from Swat and Quetta so had tea and smoking with them. Good times.

    How was your weekend? Since you love cricket I suppose you must have a cricket party going on.

  120. #120 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 9, 2009 - 2:41 PM

    Javed thanks for asking. Ziyad is better now, but he was hospitalized. He has pneumonia & a tear on his stomach, which is why he was vomiting blood.
    Im completely drained myself cuz hes been sick since wed.

    How are u guys?

  121. #121 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 9, 2009 - 6:29 PM

    Awww Sweetie glad to hear Ziyad is much better now. Hope you are looking after yourself as well

  122. #122 by Vanilla pod on March 9, 2009 - 7:47 PM


    Its good to know Ziyad is better now and I wish him a very speedy recovery. and yeh, as DRC mentioned, u must look after yourself too 😀

    oh dear! the weather has been so horrible here…so windy and rainy its freezing outside.

  123. #123 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 9, 2009 - 8:36 PM

    Theo – I can imagine the excitement of catching a big fish on a weaker line and how the line gets snapped, it happened to me many times in the past with catfish and also avec Hamour (Grouper) groupers are big (about 20 k.g.). Good to know that you had a good week-end. Mine was mainly dinners, lunches and brunch basically Kha-Paa and gup shup sessions. Cricket is mostly @ odd times like 1:00 a.m. onwards.

  124. #124 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 10, 2009 - 1:40 AM

    What is one awww-ing at?

    Having a cold sucks. I mumble, can’t think straight and totally out of it. It sucks big time!

  125. #125 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 10, 2009 - 1:06 PM

    Thanks Omer.

    I don’t like milk…especially warm but will give anything a try and if I hurl it up then I give up 😦

  126. #126 by Vanilla pod on March 10, 2009 - 2:21 PM


    awww u poor thing, get well soon hun! i know it sucks to have a cold 😦 cos u cant think properly and cant concentrate on evil esaays. i would say drink lots and lots of hot drinks and just take rest, which sucks too. but resting is the only way out, and no talking!!

  127. #127 by Vanilla pod on March 10, 2009 - 8:13 PM



    Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

    Answer: Princess Diana’s death.

    Question: How come?

    Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky,
    followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

    This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gate’s technology, and you’re probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
    hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegal…..

    That, my friends, is Globalization

  128. #128 by Vanilla pod on March 10, 2009 - 8:20 PM

    You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

    You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

    You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

    You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
    dropped dead.

    You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    You have two cows. Both are mad.

    You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.

    You have two cows. Both vote for Mubarak.

    You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a ‘ Cow City ‘ or ‘ Milk Village ‘ for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to re -sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract media attention.

    You have two cows. You sell them to an investor in Dubai . The cows get stuck in traffic between Sharjah to Dubai and die. You have zero
    cows now.

    You have two cows. So what? We have Oil.

  129. #129 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 10, 2009 - 8:25 PM

    LOL VP, thats a good one one Globalization, the other one on cows is around on the net for sometime, but this one is good….. Diana ki baat aisee hai jaisay baat ki baat khurafaat ki khurafaat. 😀

  130. #130 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 11, 2009 - 9:11 AM

    Yesterday’s Alabama Shooting resulted in 10 deaths of some innocent people. Its the GUN CULTURE in the USA that is responsible for the frequent incidents that takes place there. Our friend Theo is very proud of the gun culture 😀

    If these things happen in Pakistan it is called either terrorism or Honour Killing. But, in the USA it is just a freak incident and how many incidents have we seen in the past? Just look at the year 2007-08 incidents below, resulting in 65 deaths from the gun culture:

    Dec 2008: A gunman dressed as Santa Claus kills nine people and himself on Christmas Eve in LA.

    Sept 2008: Six people die in a series of shootings in the north-west of Washington state.

    June 2008: A worker at a plastics plant in Kentucky kills five people and wounds one other before killing himself.

    Feb 2008: Five people die and 18 are wounded after a man opens fire at Northern Illinois University.

    Dec 2007: A gunman kills eight people and wounds five at a shopping mall in Omaha, Nebraska, before killing himself.

    Apr 2007: 32 people and the gunman die at the Virginia Tech campus

  131. #131 by Mohammed Munir on March 11, 2009 - 10:01 AM

    Theossa …

    Yes, Javed Khan caught me very well there, my Pushto is not as fluent as it should be and though I understand it well I have problem speaking in Pushto. Whenever I travel to Pakistan, my cousins and nephews, make fun of my Pushto. But trust me, I am not so bad that I can not read Pushto written in English, like few ‘others’ of us on LS 😀

    So you can say, I am not a real deal, but I can qualify as an ‘almost-real-deal’, like a ‘true-copy-of-original’ 😦

    I am sure now Javed really have to go and get translation in Urdu for understanding what you and me have been talking about him in the following comments 😈 I hope it does not amount to ‘Gheebat’ because we said it openly right in front of him, but in ‘code-language’ 😆

    Javed Khan …

    Wallah Qunt Mashghool Jidden Fil Maqtab Wal Bait Hazihil Ayaam, Wa Laakin Maa Ansaakum Abaadan 😛

    Now this is ‘code-language’ between you and me and we can say whatever against Theossa or anyone else here 😉

    BTW, I can “manage” quite a few languages like Urdu, English, Pushto, Arabic, Punjabi and Farsi (yes I ‘HAD’ a Persian GF), now can someone beat that ? 8)

  132. #132 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 11, 2009 - 10:53 AM

    Munir please stop using Q for K or else I would be forced to think that you are a “Puqqa Qaidrabadi.” And, it isn’t Qunt but Kunt’u or Ka’ana and never mind about how many languages you know, if you don’t know Malayalam after living in Dubai for so long then you are not a Dubaiwala. “illay, illay, saappar illay….”

    On your Persian Gulf, let me correct you it is Arabian Gulf and not Persian 😉 and keeping a wifey you are having an affair and asking for a “Haol-e-shuma khoob ast? Khaile-e-Mamnoon bale jaan….”

  133. #133 by Mohammed Munir on March 11, 2009 - 11:07 AM

    LOL & Javed Ki Taiz Zubaan and your Mulla Ishtaaile.

    I used a big “H.A.D” for my Persian GF, but you missed it completely.

    Yaar, it was all before wifey, Tu Kub Sumjhay Ga ?

    And I knew it was not Q and K, but I thought ‘K or C’, may make it sound a bad word in English, so I used a Q. I guess I was wrong 😉

  134. #134 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 11, 2009 - 11:13 AM

    Munir, tum nay HAD ka istemaal bhee ghalat kiya thaa… thats why I had to say that. Check it again you wrote, “(yes I ‘HAD’ a Persian GF),” If you had written, I used to have a Persian GF … I would have said, iski Yaad-e-maazi Azaab hai Ya Rubb, Cheen lay iss say Pyjama iska. 😀

  135. #135 by Mohammed Munir on March 11, 2009 - 11:21 AM

    No one can win from you in “Bahass”.

    I give-up.

    You win, I loose 😦

  136. #136 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 11, 2009 - 11:21 AM

    Accha Bhaijaan, meherbaan, “Q”adardaans, you take care of your Paandaan and ugaaldaan, I am off….. I am up all night watching the silly cricket match and then I had to eat early “Sehri isssshtyle” breakfast of Paratha omelet and leftover Nihari and I am going to sleep all day! 😀 Theo will be here shortly with his Tuna sandwich in a dubba.

    Dubbay may Dubba
    Dubbay may Tuna
    Javed laga day
    Natalie ko Chuna! 😀

  137. #137 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 11, 2009 - 11:23 AM

    I argue; and its called Bahes and may be u do “Bahass” 😀

  138. #138 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 11, 2009 - 5:28 PM


    Problems in Pakistan – Problems in Heaven and Hell too:

    The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said ‘I have to talk to you. We have some Pakistanis up here in heaven and they are causing problems. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMW’s instead of the chariots, and they’re selling their halos to people for discount prices.

    They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas and drinking chai. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!’ The Lord said, ‘Pakistanis are Pakistanis. Heaven is home to all my children.

    If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.’ Satan answered the phone, ‘Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.’ Satan returned to the phone, ‘OK I’m back. What can I do for you?’ Gabriel replied, ‘I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having down there.’ Satan says, ‘Hold on again. I need to check on something.’

    After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, ‘I’m back. Now what was the question?’ Gabriel said, ‘What kind of problems are you having down there?’ Satan says, ‘Man I don’t believe this … Hold on.’ This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, ‘I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now. These Pakistanis have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning!!

  139. #139 by Abdul on March 11, 2009 - 8:21 PM

    Here is some coursework at Khan’s and co’s request ……… Hope u enjoy !

    *what is there to enjoy?*

    Task 7

    How can Monitoring and Evaluating Improve Customer Service for Customers, Organisation and Employees?

    Customer Service department is an essential asset to any business as it helps them to reflect on their performance in the past and improve their formal interaction with consumers in the future and long term of events. There are many measures they can take to monitor customer service of which this report explores.

    Businesses can manage and evaluate if customers have been satisfied by many approachable measures both internally and externally. Mystery shoppers are an excellent strategy as they can apply themselves in the customer’s shoes and really challenge and question the skills of the employees by asking various questions and behaving in some awkward way. By applying this strategy the customer service department can receive verbal feedback about their performance and efficiency in meeting the aspirations of customers. This seems to be reliable as it gives the business an informative insight into how customers rate the service being provided. It also provides them with verbal feedback on the positive and negative features from a customer’s perspective. But the ultimate factor as to why it can be considered reliable is the fact that the mystery shopper has been provided with sufficient shopping training and can encounter the opinions of many customers as opposed to a single person.

    But just receiving feedback isn’t good enough. Businesses must erase any criticisms made and make appropriate adjustments to improve upon. For example the mystery shopper highlighted a complaint about the lack of knowledge employees have in assisting the customers accordingly; the business had a meeting to educate the employees about the trade so this fault doesn’t occur again in the future.

    But mystery shopper doesn’t actually give the view of customer who has shopped. Therefore businesses can use questionnaires and surveys to assess how satisfied and pleased the customers are in a more private way. This can be considered unreliable though because if the customers are truthful when answering questions can be debatable especially with majority of the question being in the form of tick boxes. For example we saw a customer who raised many concerns throughout the flight duration was always ticking the positive options over food and comfort which suggested he didn’t really spend time and think logically about his answers. Therefore we should perhaps ignore questionnaires as it doesn’t provide the organisation with an overall overlook of their experiences.

    Another method that can be used to analyse and monitor customer satisfaction is in the form of an email. This is completely by choice so if customers want to praise or complain it can be done in an independent manner. Also as this is a way of voicing opinions by choice it can be considered completely reliable as customers are bothering out of their own personal time to make a comment and therefore there shouldn’t be the slightest of speculations raised.

    Business can than take their comments into account and put it into practice. They can respond and clear up their act to improve the service for the customer. This benefits the organisation as customers will than value the service and brings in more income in future as the “word of mouth” can spread amongst customers. Also if employees start responding they will benefit as they could receive recognition for their performance which will in some way or another increase the enjoyment factors with their occupation and possibly leads to a promotion!

    We have evidence that this can happen because a certain member of staff was praised recently by a customer for his help and assistance on board. He was really inspired by this comment and his enthusiasm for helping customers and his job rapidly grew. For example he was always turning up early to work and even working extra hours some days which represented a dedicated employee and suggested he tended to enjoy his work more. He is currently on the brink of a promotion.

    The examples shown here underline the importance of customer service. It shows that everyone can benefit from a positive customer service performance as employees express satisfaction; the organisation builds long term links and increases income and finally the employees will feel more welcome and proud of representing the organisation. This is an all-round cycle which can have a constructive input on the overall image of the company from everyone’s perspective and affect the daily activity within the business.

  140. #140 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 11, 2009 - 10:00 PM

    Abdul – according to the western business school of thoughts they have this theory that ‘customer is always right’ and they even call the customer as ‘king customer.’ IMO, a customer is a consumer or an end user but, he should not be given so much importance that he starts behaving like a God.

    The customer definitely needs to be educated
    . But, to educate him the producer or the service provider must be a master of his product or the services that he offers. They ought to know what they are doing and the must have enough knowledge, expertise and capability to educate the customer.

    As a banker when nasty customers used to come to me with the intention of creating troubles by way of complicating a problem, I used to deal with them on a one to one basis and make them understand that just because you are a customer it does not mean that you are always right or you are a king and we treat you like a king.

    There is no need to butter a customer’s butt or to roll-over in front him just because he is very rich or resourceful, powerful or important and you listen to every crap that he says or want from you. e.g., higher interest rates on deposit, lower interest rates on loans and credit facilities, preferred commission rates on L/G’s, L/C’s and for other non funding business etc.

    One needs to evaluate how far one can go in accommodating such nasty customers and how much money you are making in terms of profit by accommodating such thickheaded, rude crackpots? If you are able to maintain a balance between the do’s and don’t and you are able to make a reasonable amount of profit without lowering your self-esteem and without loosing your self-respect then, you are a successful sales person.

    Marketing is not about production, distribution and sales of products and services, it is about the glory and grace of mankind, about bringing a balance and harmony among the producers and the end users. A sale is not the end of a transaction but, the beginning of an obligation and, the obligation is not just one sided for the salesperson but, the customer also needs to understand what his obligations are?

    You may have copy pasted the article, but what I wrote here is just an over the top comment based on my personal experience.

    Yours sincerely

  141. #141 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 11, 2009 - 11:17 PM


    I feel a little better today. Atleast my voice is back to normal 😀

  142. #142 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 11, 2009 - 11:19 PM


    Mystery shoppers are not a recent phenomena. They have a prominent feature of the public service/retail sector, for atleast the last 5 years.

    P.s. You lot are still carrying on that ‘Yours Sincerely’ thing 😀 Funny people

  143. #143 by Vanilla pod on March 11, 2009 - 11:33 PM


    good to know you are better! 😀 hope u recover fully soon.

    does anyone know how ziyad is now? sweetie hasnt been on LS for a while…

    mystery shoppers are annoying! it means you have to be suspicious and put on a nice face while dealing with customers tantrums, cos u dont know which one is the mystery shopper!

  144. #144 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 11, 2009 - 11:40 PM

    I don’t know about Ziyad but I think Sweetie is ok 🙂

    Mystery shoppers are cool 😀

  145. #145 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 11, 2009 - 11:52 PM

    Salam. Thank u guys. Ziyad is much better now.
    How are u all?

  146. #146 by Vanilla pod on March 12, 2009 - 12:00 AM


    good to know Ziyad is better. has he been discharged from the hospital yet?

    i am laid back these days, have been playing games and watching tv 😀 everyones busy these days, havnt seen much of Awas, hope he is ok.

  147. #147 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 12:03 AM

    Yo Sweetie…Waaaagwaaaaaaaaaaaaaniiin?

  148. #148 by Vanilla pod on March 12, 2009 - 12:10 AM

    whats Waaaagwaaaaaaaaaaaaaniiin?

    is it like whats up?

  149. #149 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 12:13 AM


    I heard it today and apparently it stands for ‘what is going on’.

    Having a cold messes with my head and I have delusions of being a gangster.

    How are you VP?

  150. #150 by Vanilla pod on March 12, 2009 - 12:22 AM

    lol! never heard of it before 😀

    aww i am sure ur head is all fuzzy, lol @ delusions of being a gangster. if an elder asks u these days…’beta aagay ja kay kiya banna chahti ho?’ be careful not say ‘aunty/uncle, gangster banna chahti hoon’ 😀

    ive been good. i have been helping some kids with their SAT exam preparation these days. they come up with some weird things!

  151. #151 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 12:29 AM

    Hehehe..good job I am not going home for a few weeks otherwise that sounds like something I would definitely say.

    This is the last year they are going to be doing SATs in this country. End of another era 😦

    I know lots of gangster ‘lingo’. 😀 Don’t even ask how.

    I should give you all lessons 😀

  152. #152 by khansahab on March 12, 2009 - 12:33 AM


    We have mystery shoppers who are smart people who report on customer service to companies, and we have Abdul who is a smart person but is nameless and faceless, and we don’t know him!

    Who is he?
    Where is he from?
    When in the past few years did he migrate to the UK?
    What is his real name?
    Has he really met Mushtaq Ahmed?
    What are his political affiliations?

    Respectfully yours,


  153. #153 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 12:41 AM


    Do you really want to get to know him?

    Best Wishes


  154. #154 by khansahab on March 12, 2009 - 1:14 AM


    He is a mystery I need to unravel.

    Kind regards


  155. #155 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:19 AM

    Sweetie are you always around on the blog and, not commenting on LS untill the penny drops? The moment VP asked about you, you popped up mysteriously like abdul. He vowed never to come back again but he is so loyal to khansahab and Omer that he cannot resist the temptation and, not to mention the charms of DRC and VP which definitely works like a bait for him 😀

    On waaaaaagwaaaaaaaaaaaan, sweetie if you remember a girl on desi, by the nick of Z she was from the UK, she used to say Waaaaaaaaaagwaaaaaaaan to ALL whenever she used to enter the room. I used to think its something to with Sikhs and Sikhism such as, Wagwan Guru or something, but Z was a pukki, pukki Hijaban.

  156. #156 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:35 AM

    DRC you lost your voice?????????????? Its always so funny when someone loses his/her voice due to minor colds or laryngitis.

    I am sure Sweetie remembers the incident when I lost my voice a few years ago and told her the ordeal that I went through it and even after I regained my voice, the ENT surgeon wanted to check my vocal cords and stuffed the fiber optics camera through my nose and gave a verdict that I can be the new Taan Sen and sing Raag Bhairvi and Raag Malhaar to scare people.

    It was after that, I had realized the importance of sound in our life. Like most other blessings of God e.g., the sense of hearing, seeing and feeling, or the air we breathe and the water we drink and the sunlight we get for free, we think our voice is something very petty and unimportant. Hence, we don’t pay any attention of how important it is in our life when dealing with other people!

    It was then I wrote an article to please my Fairy Godmother :-), its more like a short story about my own experience on losing my voice and how people were making fun of me. In fact they were so happy, relieved and said, its so nice, quiet and peaceful these days….. hinting at my temporary handicap. 😀

    I don’t wanna bore everyone by writing the whole stuff on the blog but, in case you are interested in reading it, I will send it over to you or to anyone else.

  157. #157 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:51 AM

    He is a mystery I need to unravel.…..khansahab on abdul

    I dunno if you have heard Late Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan’s
    “Tum ek gorak dhanda ho,” have you? Well, I am not so impressed by the caption especially where the word dhanda or Karobar is stuffed in poetry. Otherwise, the way Nusrat sang is not that bad. But the word, Dhanda sounds a bit cheap in it, especially when he is referring to God as a mystery.

    Also, in Faiz Ahmad Faiz’s poetry

    “Gulaon may Rang bharay baad-e-nao bahar chalay
    Chalay bhee aao kay Gulshan ka Karobaar chalay”

    Sounds like Gulshan Supermarket or Gulshan Vegetable Market. And Faiz Ahmad Faiz’s daughter was definitely not Gulshan 😀

    On Faiz, today when I was watching the Pakistan and England women cricket team match live there was a girl in the team her name is Sukhan Faiz. These days names are being very creative and innovative, especially Pakistani girls, there was another girl Nain Abidi and another one Qanteela Jamil.... I think the letter N is superfluous in her name, she has bleached her hair with peroxide and is Lasith Malinga of Pakistani women team 😀


    Wasim Akram
    was there and talked to the girls b4 the match and also did the commentary. Urooj Mumtaz the captain of the team writes a blog on cricinfo and she also speaks better English than not only Shoaib Malik but, the entire Pakistani guys team. And better than Wasim Akram and Waqar Younus.

    Wasim was constantly saying HE played a good shot and HE bowled a beautiful delivery instead of SHE. Also, he would say batsman and then immediately correct himself by saying BATTER.

  158. #158 by Abdul on March 12, 2009 - 7:49 AM

    VP, sats exams were scrapped last year by the government ……….

    Weren’t they ??????????

  159. #159 by Abdul on March 12, 2009 - 7:52 AM

    Anyway did u guys by any chance do them. If so how did u get on in KS3 ?


    maths -7

    National average is 5 !

    But GCSE’S are the real thing !!!!

  160. #160 by Theossa on March 12, 2009 - 1:00 PM


    Last time I seen Awas was at a drug store buying Viagra, I didn’t hear from him after that 😀

    About your question whether I hunt birds, No I don’t anymore. The last bird I caught would get cranky if I do that 🙂 Besides, these days I find spending time outdoors to be very sexy so no need for those stupid birds. I’ll let you, Omer, and King Kong Abdul to take care of the bird trapping business 😀


    That was a fantastic article about the importance of mystery customers! You never cease to impress me. Do you know how can I become a mystery customer to check out the customer service at Titty Bars?

  161. #161 by Theossa on March 12, 2009 - 1:00 PM


    I was expecting better from a knowledgeable person like you on the issue of guns. Whenever there is a massacre at school and or shooting involving family members, the liberal media jumps all over it and makes you believe that guns in the hands of civilians is extremely dangerous. Truth could not be more far from it. If the victims had guns for their self protection then these kinds of incidents would not happen in the first place! Just imagine you are shopping in a Mall and some crazy guy starts shooting at everyone there. If you don’t have a gun you would either take cover or run for your life. If you had a gun you can shoot back and can save some lives including yours. One important thing people overlook is the fact that criminals, crooks, and determined individuals get guns anyway leaving ordinary citizen on the mercy of these guys so why not let the law abiding citizens bear firearms for self defense? Why would possessing a gun alter the behavior of a person who abides the law in every which way?

    Anyways, how did you know Munir is a Neem Pathan? LOL. I guess except me all the Pathans on LS, you, Khansahab, Munir, and Vanilla iPod can’t speak Pushto anymore 😥

    And about Natalie, I feel sweet pain in my heart jub bhe mien uska aor Deer ka naam leta hon.

    Putta putta boota boota haal humara jaane hai
    Jaane na jaane Natalie na jaane LS to sara jaane hai


    Dubbe mien dubba
    Dubbe mien cake
    Ls per reh gaya
    Akhroat sirf aik 😦

  162. #162 by Theossa on March 12, 2009 - 1:01 PM

    Vanilla iPod

    People are not showing up on LS because there is someone called DRC who could not only spread her deadly lice but also her contagious Bird Flu and what not. I’m writing right now with my head and mouth covered!


    Yeh tumhara Bukra Muneer eik jagha kion nahin tikta? Kabhi yahan to kabhi NY ghaas churne chala jaata hai. Agar tum ne kuch ghaas dali hotte to Muneer Bukra yonh awara na hotta bulkeh Javed ke tarha Sugghar aor saliqa shoaar hotta 😀

    Btw I heard that you find Ex Chief Justice Choudhary Iftikhaar’s mustache very sexy? Khansahab told me so.

  163. #163 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 12, 2009 - 1:53 PM

    Javed, too bad u can’t lose ure typing skills with laryngitis! lol
    I wasn’t around when VP asked. I sometimes check to see wats happening here, & most of the times no one’s blogging.

  164. #164 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 3:45 PM

    Sweetie and your sense of humour has been stolen by that thug ! Never mind, next time I have to throw some light on my dark humour. Besides, a blog is not like a chat site that you can see who is there and who is not? Just leave a message and it will get approved. Learn a few mysterious things from abdul 😀

    Theo, a saliqadar aur sughar shaohar is better than a darphoonk, BV ki awaaz say Laraznay wala shaoher. Aur saara din kaam keray week-end per bhee BV say dooor bhaagay tou it confirms kay tum kya ho? 😀

    To quote you “Truth could not be more far from it.” What is the truth my dear? The truth is you cannot handle the truth 😀 On your example of a Mall that a crazy guy starts shooting…. how many crazy guys are there btw? Like, an American goes to work in his car and soon after his wife hears on the radio that on the same highway her husband goes to work there is a lunatic driving in the opposite direction and so, she calls him on his cell to warn him that there is a luni on the highway driving in the opposite direction, and he tells her, you are talking about one guy? They are all driving in the opposite direction. So, keep your gun in your pocket theo.

    Obviously you know better about Awas because, you were in front of him when he was buying Viagra from the drugstore. Reportedly they refused to sell you because you are a mysterious customer. In fact Awas wrote an email saying that, the drugstore guy asked you where will you go from here and what will you do with this goli? And, you replied, I am heading straight to the jungle and I am going to kill a Deer with it. 😀

    Now, even the SPCA guys are looking for you for “serioxsly” assaulting a Deer with Sildenafil goli. 😀

  165. #165 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 3:54 PM

    OMG, abdul got a 7 heaven in maths !!!!! I was and still I am very poor in maths.

    There was a brilliant brat like abdul, but he was never serious in his studies and used to fail especially in maths because he never took it seriously. His parents tried their best and even changed his schools, he went from one school to another and finally he was sent to a Catholic missionary school. And suddenly his grades improved and also he was getting 100% in maths. The parents asked him what is the reason behind this change? And, the kid replied, “They are very serious and they mean business, didn’t you see that on the wall? They nailed that guy on the PLUS sign when he failed.”

  166. #166 by Theossa on March 12, 2009 - 4:06 PM

    LOL @ drugstore guy asked you where will you go from here and what will you do with this goli? And, you replied, I am heading straight to the jungle and I am going to kill a Deer with it

    Javed, only a guy with no guns would think of such ways to kill deer. Did you kill a Doe or a Buck using your Sildenafil goli? Logic says it would be a Doe but since you are a Pathan, possibilities are limitless 😀

    Time to eat my grilled shrimp and salad lunch! How was your fish last night? I mean the one you ate.

  167. #167 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 4:27 PM

    Theo that restaurant is small, they have live fish, crabs, lobsters and you select and choose the one you wanna eat and they cook it for you. I didn’t choose, I asked them to bring me a rainbow trout. I only eat fish and shrimps, it was good not just the food but the company.

    I prefer charcoal grilled fish, that I do @ home, but most restaurants have gas grills for obvious reasons. The white Pomphret that I grill in whole is the one I like most, but then I also grill boneless fish steaks especially that of Grouper. The Grouper has very light white meat and if you eat with charcoal baked potatoes topped with real butter, grilled avocados stuffed with chopped purple onions diced with olive oil, lemon and green peppers and thick orange sauce …….. its amazing.

    At one of the Bengali supermarkets I got some sweet water Tiger Shrimps, they were really big and taste different. In Dubai we used to have a lot of Omani and Irani water shrimps and prawns and the olive colour prawns were more expensive than the rest. But, they do have a unique taste. I don’t eat too much shrimps and prawns and I don’t like lobsters, crab or octopus tails…. just not my cuppa tea!

    Enjoy your lunch and keep dreaming about Natalie 😀

  168. #168 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 4:30 PM

    Theo – On your Pathan logic:

    Sylvester Stallone in one of the Rocky movies, when he wins the first big fight and gets a lot of money, his manager asks him to invest wisely and suggests, “How about a Condominium? ” Stallone replies, “Never used one”!

  169. #169 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 4:43 PM


    Yes I lost my voice:( but now alhamdulilah it’s back. At the weekend, I sounded so drugged up (ask Khansahab :D)but I sound like I normally do. I have constant headache and temperature but feel much better.

    Oh and me and VP do, do a good job of luring people back to the blog :p


    SATs will be abolished after this Summer’s examinations.

    I did very well in SATs. Even Maths but I didn’t do too well in it when I came to do my GCSEs.


    The only things which have lice, are the beloved deers which you hunt 🙄


    Good luck with unravelling the mystery that is Abdul. Rather you than me 😀

  170. #170 by khansahab on March 12, 2009 - 4:52 PM


    You don’t know how to talk to your elders do you?

  171. #171 by Theossa on March 12, 2009 - 5:05 PM


    I thought Javed actually likes you and that’s why he picks on you but by reading your post I think you make a lot of sense. I support your posts and I think they are genuine and creative. I know a girl on LS pastes clip of your posts in her personal diary but she thinks you like DRC so she never makes a move. I’ll let you guess on that.


    How could you mix your deadly lice with the harmless little ticks on Deer? I’m very disheartened by your insulting comments about Deer. How could you say such mean things about a beautiful animal?

    Javed, LOL @ Sylvester Stallone clip. Speaking of fish, you would make a perfect fishing companion on a nice sunny weekend with your good fish grilling skills. Too bad you live too far or else we would catch fish and grill them every now and then. Did you like Rainbow trout meat? I noticed that stocked trout don’t taste very good but if you eat wild trout it is very moist and much richer in taste. Also, if the fish is stocked when they’re minnows and you catch the adult one, it tastes close to the wild trout. I guess there must be something about the diet of fish that makes the difference. I rarely get to eat salt water fish as there is no ocean nearby and usually my freezer is loaded with fresh water fish. I’m leaving for NYC on March 17 and will remain in the city till March 24 so I might try Grouper fish there. See what it’s all about.

  172. #172 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:14 PM

    Theo – I prefer to have female companions in my fishing entourage because then they do the cooking while I am fishing. Ek Miyaan may 2 talvarain nahee ho sakteen, so you are out of my team. Besides, one needs to feel like Raja Inder. 😀

    I don’t like Rainbow trout as much as I like other fish, but there was not much choice in that restaurant, as the other fish was Salmon. Anyways, so this trip to NYC is work related or Natalie’s Hope trip? What about your BITTER HALF? Are you leaving behind for the entire week?

    And, yeah abdul needs your encouragement and some patting on the back otherwise he will runaway all alone by himself…….. koi larki sath bhaagnay taiyaar nahee uskay! 😀 No one wants to change the diapers. 😀

  173. #173 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:16 PM


    Whats wrong with you today? Why are you restricting yourself with one liner jokes? Are you too depressed because of CJC’s accent? Or, you are unhappy that Sweetie likes his mustache? Actually CJC wants to emulate Hitler’s mustache but ended up with a Charlie Chaplin cut. 😀

  174. #174 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 5:16 PM


    Please grow up for once. No point in spitting your dummy out on the blog.


    Alhamdulilah shukar hai ke I don’t have any lice. *shudders*

  175. #175 by Abdul on March 12, 2009 - 5:16 PM

    Khansahab I do know how to respect my elders but at the same time the lack of maturity the elder had was unbelievable.

  176. #176 by Abdul on March 12, 2009 - 5:19 PM

    Hey Khansahab go on MSN now or even email if u have ……….

    We need to talk.

  177. #177 by khansahab on March 12, 2009 - 5:20 PM


    I don’t have time for stupid things, you weirdo….

  178. #178 by Abdul on March 12, 2009 - 5:20 PM

    DRC : Please grow up for once. No point in spitting your dummy out on the blog.

    LOL I was revealing the truth !!!!!!

  179. #179 by Theossa on March 12, 2009 - 5:25 PM

    Javed @ I prefer to have female companions in my fishing entourage because then they do the cooking while I am fishing Too bad, I want to have you on fishing trips with me for the same reasons, you grill while I fish, LOL

    Why are you insulting Abdul by saying no girl is ready to change his diapers? He is a grown man and he knows how to use the toilet. Otherwise how do you think he plays a 50 over cricket match? If he was wearing diapers wouldn’t shit ooze out by the end of the day? You make no sense Javed!

  180. #180 by Abdul on March 12, 2009 - 5:25 PM

    DRC : Please grow up for once. No point in spitting your dummy out on the blog

    LOL I was revealing the truth !

  181. #181 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 5:28 PM


    Some friendly, FREE advice:

    If you want to be taken seriously and if you want others to treat you in a friendly manner, you also have to act accordingly. They say you should treat others like you would like to be treated, NO?! So if you want to be taken seriously and if you want people to speak to you politely, you have to do the same.

    Now put your dummy back in. Clean up the mess and apologise.

  182. #182 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:29 PM

    abdul, DRC actually gave you a nip in the bud and you seems to be LOLLING @ it, how come her verbal kick on the butt makes you laugh? Are you really growing by the minute? Whats the secret behind? The Angro Urea Fertilizer in the soiled diaper is working like a Miracle Grow powder, or is it something mysterious that you don’t wanna share with us? You can email Awas or Theossa, they are more sympathetic towards you and they will keep your secrets. All the rest on this blog try to make fun of you, they only try, but they can’t because you are so smart.

  183. #183 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:35 PM

    Too bad, I want to have you on fishing trips with me for the same reasons, you grill while I fish, LOL Theo.

    theo its called FISHFUL THINKING . 😀

    How can anyone insult a whizkid ? How do you know he use the toilet? Do you lower the toilet seat for him or do you place the baby attachments on top of that seat? That is to prevent him falling inside and that is again one of your fishful thinking that you wanna do some fishing practice there by hooking him using your 6 lb line? 😀 aanhaan!

  184. #184 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 5:38 PM


    Girls giggle. Are you trying to tell us something?!

    It was just friendly advice. Take it or leave it, does not affect me.

  185. #185 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:40 PM

    DRC ……. thanks for that we both said the same thing at the same time, so its pretty obvious that its pretty abdul. 😀

  186. #186 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 5:41 PM

    LOL Javed why for mine and Omer’s sake?

    P.s. Great minds think alike or as they say ‘fools seldom disagree’ 😀

  187. #187 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 5:45 PM

    DRC Now, for sure abdul will runaway (all alone) with his tail between his legs or should I say her? Because he has confused all of us now by mysteriously revealing the truth! 😀

    Abdul ki dumm may dhaaaga
    Wo dumm daba kay bhaaga

    And theo why are you laughing so much? Don’t laugh while eating tuna sandwich you might choke! Like abdul once choked while eating artichoke. 😀

  188. #188 by Vanilla pod on March 12, 2009 - 5:46 PM

    Who is atif hussein?

  189. #189 by Abdul on March 12, 2009 - 5:50 PM

    Who is atif hussein?

    Ans : Khansahab

  190. #190 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 12, 2009 - 5:58 PM

    Lol Javed, i know how the posts/ comments have to be approved. When theyre not it means none of u are there to approve.

    Theo, speak of the devil.. & hes re appears =( HES BACk!!

  191. #191 by khansahab on March 12, 2009 - 6:04 PM


    You know the difference between “Altaf” and “Atif”?

  192. #192 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 6:04 PM

    Sweetie, yeah the DEVIL is here and he is not here, it seems he got a call from his “homeland security” because I called her BITTER HALF and she must have read that, as she keeps a tab on him and must be giving him some punishment. I mean apart from the daily punishment he gets by way of eating a canned tuna sandwich for lunch everyday. 😀

  193. #193 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 6:06 PM

    You know the difference between “Altaf” and “Atif”? khansahab


  194. #194 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 6:09 PM

    khansahab you understand abdul so well, I was confused when he mentioned this name Atif Hussein and it didn’t even occur to me that he meant Altaf Hussain. LOL…. 😀

  195. #195 by Theossa on March 12, 2009 - 6:23 PM

    DRC (Miss Etiquette)

    Abdul meant gargling, not giggling, it’s a typo mistake.

    Yeh nufrat mohabbat mien badal na jai kahin
    Abdul tumahre khwabon mien bus na jai kahin
    : D

    Gotta go guys, have a nice rest of the day.

  196. #196 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 12, 2009 - 6:30 PM

    Pehlay Gittay Gowdon say niklay tou phir khowabaon may bussay! Listerine say ya Scope say gargling? But, he doesn’t eat Canned Tuna Fish sandwiches, so he doesn’t need. May be he meant Googly-ing because he is a spin-kidding. 😀

    Theo, wifey nay jaldi ghar summon ker liya, key gull aye? 😀

  197. #197 by khansahab on March 12, 2009 - 7:57 PM


    I have achieved nothing great and neither have I met anyone famous, well, Wasim Akram waved to me once, but that was about it.

    However I am thankful to God for whatever little I have, and so should all of us.

    Kind regards


  198. #198 by khansahab on March 12, 2009 - 8:13 PM


    Whenever I am wrong have I not said I am apologise to you?

  199. #199 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 12, 2009 - 11:48 PM

    Abdul can do what he wants Theo. I refuse to change his diaper and give him a clean dummy!

  200. #200 by khansahab on March 13, 2009 - 1:17 AM


    I tried to “apply” myself to your comment, and then had “vision before my eyes” and understood the meaning. Generally, I concur and am agree with you.

    Yours sincerely


  201. #201 by khansahab on March 13, 2009 - 1:20 AM


    Kind regards


  202. #202 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:40 AM

    Those who love photography like I do and, those who enjoy beautiful landscapes and nature scenes captured by camera and presented in a very amazing manner MUST see this:


  203. #203 by Vanilla pod on March 13, 2009 - 12:25 PM

    wow Javed

    its amazing! i would have thought the leaves were white. never heard of infra red camera before. the pictures look like they have been hand painted.

  204. #204 by khansahab on March 13, 2009 - 1:28 PM


    Now you are playing Asfandyar Wali Khan between me (Altaf Bhai), Javed A Khan (President Zardari) and Mian Abdul (Nawaz Sharif).

    And being a real Pathan you will stand up for injustice and oppression of the poor and the needy, even if it means fighting your own Pathan brethren 😦

  205. #205 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 2:36 PM

    Theossa – you call yourself a tree hugger? Man you have uprooted the roots the entire Pathan tribe by this confession and to a certain extent, now I know why Pathans are called Akhroats? People were unable to solve this mystery and are still perplexed with this notion of how the tree start bearing walnuts after that incident? Whether there was a hole in the trunk that the nuts fell in it or, whether it is the seed? But, the amazing thing is how come the replica of a Pathan brain is found in walnuts? For that, I think they need to do the scanning first and then the biopsy of the nuts before they perform the posterior brain surgery. 😀

    I think you can now challenge Charles Darwin Theory of Evolution by presenting an entire new thesis about the creation of the Pathan species where the brain is not in the head but in the nuts. If you need any help in doing some more research you may seek the help of a few Sardarji scientists and biologist or, the likes of Bul Bul Singh.

    Right now your analysis of how others perceive about the bull bull is just a reflection of your 3all$, which are in the hands of the spinkid who is trying to toss it up on a bouncy wicket to get his “giggly” delivery which is actually a doosra! 😀

  206. #206 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 2:47 PM

    LOL @ Theo! hahaha

  207. #207 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 2:50 PM

    Abdul prolly meant ‘chuckle”.

  208. #208 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 2:53 PM

    Sweetie, he is still too young to watch CHUCK so he can’t chuckle.

  209. #209 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 2:56 PM

    Sweetie, Theo after posting that comment is hiding in the jungle …. ‘coz he got that goli and went after the poor Deer. Oh, did you read my yesterday’s comment in reply to his comment about Awas that he saw him at the drug store buying Viagra. If not pls. do that and you will know what I meant about “that goli”.

  210. #210 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 3:10 PM

    VP thanks….

    Imagine a film shot using this kind of technique…It’d be like a postmodern adaptation of sepia style like in letters from Iwo Jima! It also gives this weird post-apocalytpic/narnia/h.g.wells-the-time-machine feel to everything I always wondered if other people perceive the same tonal distribution as i do …????

  211. #211 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 3:18 PM

    No Javed, i tried lookin at the srchives, but i cannot. Would u mind cutting & pasting both the comments?

  212. #212 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 3:26 PM

    Theo, i hope u do not mistake me for a deer & shoot me ! 😮

  213. #213 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:25 PM

    Sweetie, you don’t have to search in archives. It is in V-talk 8 and if you go to the bottom of that page you will see “Older Comments” click on that and you get to see the last 100 comments. I cannot quote the number of the comment because it is useless as the numbers keep changing with the addition of new comments in this upside down sequence new version…. thanks to khansahab ;-). Anyways, here are the two comments:

    Theossa Says:

    March 12, 2009 at 1:00 pm


    Last time I seen Awas was at a drug store buying Viagra, I didn’t hear from him after that 😀

    JAVED A. KHAN Says:

    March 12, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    Sweetie and your sense of humour has been stolen by that thug ! Never mind, next time I have to throw some light on my dark humour. Besides, a blog is not like a chat site that you can see who is there and who is not? Just leave a message and it will get approved. Learn a few mysterious things from abdul 😀

    Theo, a saliqadar aur sughar shaohar is better than a darphoonk, BV ki awaaz say Laraznay wala shaoher. Aur saara din kaam keray week-end per bhee BV say dooor bhaagay tou it confirms kay tum kya ho? 😀

    To quote you “Truth could not be more far from it.” What is the truth my dear? The truth is you cannot handle the truth 😀 On your example of a Mall that a crazy guy starts shooting…. how many crazy guys are there btw? Like, an American goes to work in his car and soon after his wife hears on the radio that on the same highway her husband goes to work there is a lunatic driving in the opposite direction and so, she calls him on his cell to warn him that there is a luni on the highway driving in the opposite direction, and he tells her, you are talking about one guy? They are all driving in the opposite direction. So, keep your gun in your pocket theo.

    Obviously you know better about Awas because, you were in front of him when he was buying Viagra from the drugstore. Reportedly they refused to sell you because you are a mysterious customer. In fact Awas wrote an email saying that, the drugstore guy asked you where will you go from here and what will you do with this goli? And, you replied, I am heading straight to the jungle and I am going to kill a Deer with it. 😀

    Now, even the SPCA guys are looking for you for “serioxsly” assaulting a Deer with Sildenafil goli. 😀

  214. #214 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:33 PM

    khansahab – that youtube link white shirt, blue shirt, dark hair, blonde hair etc., etc. Just curious to know how you find these videos and why you watch them? Especially since you don’t understand Spanish. Those are Latino girls btw. And, one more thing. Why on earth you and Omer are obsessed with Aunties? 😀 To me it looks more like a crush than anything else 😉

  215. #215 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:37 PM

    Theo, i hope u do not mistake me for a deer & shoot me ! Sweetie

    Sweetie, goli milnay kay baad tou wo kisi ko bhee shoot sakta hai, Hiran milay na milay tree ko bhee nishana banata hai…….. akhroat jo hai 😀

  216. #216 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 4:38 PM

    lolll Javed, did u hear about that guy who OD’ed on Viagra? Wat a nasty way to die, & its so ironic his plan was to have sex wit tons of girls lolll

  217. #217 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 4:40 PM

    Javed, BF has a thing for aunties. He believes his Monica darling is 40, but infact shes 45! Do not let him near ure Mehbooba, else he’s gonna go for her & her parathey! hehehe

  218. #218 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:40 PM

    No sweetie, I did not…….. enlighten me pls. Is it on CNN, BBC or TNN (Theo News Network)?

  219. #219 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:42 PM

    Well Mehbooba must be in her mid thirties but, its not your BF but Theo is more keen on knowing her and her PARONTHAS.

  220. #220 by khansahab on March 13, 2009 - 4:43 PM

    Javed A Khan

    Most girl related pics or videos that I watch are just by sheer coincidence. I was going on Youtube to watch something unrelated to sex & sexuality, however this video came up as a “featured video” on the main Youtube page.

  221. #221 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 4:44 PM

    It was on the news.
    A 28-year-old man in Moscow died after swallowing an entire bottle of Viagra to keep him going for a 12-hour orgy with two women. ( i thought it was 12 women too) lol

    The women had bet Sergey Tuganov $6,000 that he wouldn’t be able to satisfy them both non-stop for the half-day sex marathon. ( I wonder if they ever wanna do it again haha)

    But minutes after winning the wager, the randy 28-year-old dropped dead with a heart attack. (how ironic!)

  222. #222 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:46 PM

    khansahab: That expression in Urdu: “Allah Tala Shakkar Khoray Ko Shakkar Deta Hai.” So you mean to say that you and Omer are blessed ONLY with featured videos and that too of HAUNTIES 😀 Btw, is that Ghulam Farid Sabri Qawal?

    Kismet may Merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

  223. #223 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 4:47 PM

    BF, can u fix this damn thing? Everytime i post a comment, it takes me back to the old page! urghhh
    as if the new comments on top & the comment box at the opposite end wasnt enuff! 🙄

  224. #224 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:48 PM

    But minutes after winning the wager, the randy 28-year-old dropped dead with a heart attack. (how ironic!)

    Who is the Randy here? Is it the Urdu wali or koi Gori? 😀

  225. #225 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:50 PM

    BF, can u fix this damn thing? Everytime i post a comment, it takes me back to the old page! urghhh as if the new comments on top & the comment box at the opposite end wasnt enuff! Sweetie

    khansahab, I am agree with Sweetie, fix it pls.


    for me it doesn’t matter bakaoz I dan’t use that page, I use admin page.

  226. #226 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 4:50 PM

    Javed, that is a guys name hahaha & it was a gora who dropped dead not a gori.

  227. #227 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 4:52 PM

    it was a gora who dropped dead not a gori.
    Sweetie u still don’t know me ! You better learn maths from the great abdulmujam.

  228. #228 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 4:55 PM

    I do know wat u meant, thats why i said it was a gora, i did miss the not urdu walee word u were prolly talkin about. & i do know u quite well hehehe 👿

  229. #229 by khansahab on March 13, 2009 - 4:57 PM

    Javed A Khan & GF

    Although I am agree the diversion to the new page is annoying, I tried to “apply” myself to this issue and visited the admin page, where I got “vision before my eyes”.

    The ONLY way this can be fixed is that, the older comments will start appearing on the top and you will have to wait and scroll all the way down to see the newest comment. So we will get back to the same old situation!

  230. #230 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 5:02 PM

    Yeah Sweetie I was talking about Wali and not Wala 🙂 Its such a coincidence that when the Gora’s left after the British Raj they took the Randy and Mandy (Hira) names with them to the UK. That is why you see such names among the goris, NOW you know wo PEECHAY say kahan say hain? 😀 I am sure khansahab must be ROTFLOLING now! Bakaoz he knows the background.

  231. #231 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 13, 2009 - 5:06 PM

    I g2g now………. sweetie ur BF is here to update ur comments so don’t let him go.

    khansahab that would be better to see all the comments and quote the number for reference rather than this new version……. I am agree that the bloggers must find it easy and user friendly rather than they give up and not read the entire comments. So, lets go back to the older version. Thanks and sorry for the trouble.

  232. #232 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 5:58 PM

    BF, the thing is, if the new comments appear on the top of the page, & we have to scroll down to post the comments, it is the same diff?

  233. #233 by khansahab on March 13, 2009 - 6:01 PM


    Now that’s what I call “women’s logic”.

    Thanks for providing vision before my eyes.

  234. #234 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 6:10 PM


  235. #235 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 13, 2009 - 11:24 PM

    *Chapair* for Omer & Khan Sahab

    With love,

    Baji DRC!! haha

  236. #236 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 14, 2009 - 3:20 AM


    SHERRY REHMAN RESIGNED…… it is confirmed but, the government has not yet accepted the resignation. This is a big blow to Zardari’s government. Sherry wants to say:


  237. #237 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 14, 2009 - 11:36 PM

    lol Sweetie. Good one

    hope everyone is ok 🙂

  238. #238 by Mohammed Munir on March 15, 2009 - 8:30 AM

    A Molvi Sahab went to Asif Zardari’s house and said to him.

    “Allah Ki Makhlooq Ko Tang Mut Karo, Warna Allah Ka Koi Azaab Aajaaye Ga”.

    Zardari Replied: “Tang to MUSHARAF Kar Raha Thaa … Iss Liyay Tu Main Aagaya Houn”. 😆

  239. #239 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 15, 2009 - 1:07 PM

    Ha ha haha Munir good one.

  240. #240 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 10:01 PM

    Has anyone read ‘My Feudal Lord’ by Tehmina Durrani.

    I never realised that Sherry Rehman was Mustafa Khar’s wife whilst he was courting Tehminda.

  241. #241 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 10:03 PM


  242. #242 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 10:17 PM

    Yeh that is his daughter.

    I read the book a few years ago and felt sorry for Tehmina due to the ‘cruelty’ inflicted upon her by Khar. However, then when all the pieces fit together i.e. Sherry being a previous wife, the sympathy kind of departed and I realised she asked for it so to speak. She left a loving husband and her daughter behind to set up home with Khar, who treated her so badly.People always think the grass is greener on the other side and then they get hit with the reality.

    Tehmina is married to Shabaz Sharif now. What is wrong with these women?!

    Khansahab, I don’t know much about politics to be honest, apart from that it is a dirty business.

    If you can get your hand on this book, have a read.

  243. #243 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 10:20 PM

    I found it kind of ironic that Amna Haq is Khar’s daughter and she chose to go into a profession such as modelling. Especially because Khar was portrayed as a sexist and very chauvanistic male in the above mentioned book.

  244. #244 by khansahab on March 15, 2009 - 10:27 PM

    Yeah and if you consider the way Amna dresses and carries herself, it’s quite disgraceful.

    Hina Rabbani Khar is another daughter of Mustafa, and she is much better looking and much better dressed, and more educated.

    The models and actresses in Pakistan have no morals, no finesse and they are simply there because of that very reason.

    That is one of the differences between India and Pakistan. Compare the general Indian models/actresses with their public and you will see the women in showbiz are much better looking than normal women and they also come from above-average socio-economic backgrounds.

    Now compare Pakistani models/actresses with normal Pakistani women!!!

    Indians can recruit from a much bigger pool, whereas in Pakistan it’s a case of, “Are you willing to be bold enough to do things that the majority of the population will disapprove of?” That surely must be the sole criterion, because looks, education, talent, is not. Pakistani actresses are neither good looking, nor educated and definitely not talented.

  245. #245 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 10:32 PM

    He has plenty of children. He has been married over 5 times so yeh. It is just funny how controlling he was over his wives but when it comes to his children it is so much different.

    No offence, but Pakistani models all practically look the same. Same style of make up and attitudes.

  246. #246 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 10:39 PM

    Apart from the ‘noveau riche’ type people, no family would actively encourage their daughters to model. You will see many Pakistani women who are so beautiful mashallah but would not dare to model.

    In India there is not that ‘taboo’ associated with acting and modelling and people actively choose to go into that profession.

    You have to read the book Khansahab. Interesting read.

    Funny how these women carry on in the same circles. For example Tehmina was married to Khar and now Shabaz Sharif. Likewise, Sherry was portrayed as a submissive wife yet she became heavily involved with politics (before she resigned).

  247. #247 by khansahab on March 15, 2009 - 10:50 PM


    I agree, and I believe if there was some way the beautiful women of Pakistan could be represented more in showbiz, people across the world would be astounded to realise the beauty in that part of the world.

    In fact, above-average looking people is probably the best “natural resource” the country can garner.

    If you look at the 4 provinces and consider the native inhabitants- Pathans, Punjabis, Sindhis and Baluchis, they are probably the best looking ethnicities in the whole of the Indian Subcontinent.

    Well, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but I think many will I am agree with my view.

  248. #248 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 10:59 PM

    Pathani men can be good looking and so can some Punjabi too. Don’t know many Baluchis or Sindhis.

    Oh and I agree with the above sentiments.

  249. #249 by khansahab on March 15, 2009 - 11:17 PM


    Am you think Pathani men generally are better than Pathani women?

    Why am you think Punjabi women are much better looking than men, comparatively?

  250. #250 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 11:27 PM

    Hmmm I am undecided I have seen both good looking people (male and female) from both provinces.

    If I was biased I would say Punjabi but I am just joking.

    Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Haina?!

  251. #251 by khansahab on March 15, 2009 - 11:35 PM

    Yep you am right.

    I’m not trying to be rude DRC but why am you using wrong English?

    You wrote, “I would say Punjabi…..”

    You should say, “I am say…..”

    What is this, “I would say?”


    Sorry for hurting your feelings…

  252. #252 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 11:41 PM

    I did not realise I was using English wrongly. I have never come across this before. I am sorry and will correct my English.

  253. #253 by khansahab on March 15, 2009 - 11:54 PM



    When you apologise, you say “I am sorry”.

    When you agree, you say “I am agree”.

    “Apologise” and “agree” are verbs, right? Consistency is extremely important in any language.

    So when you say something, it is, “I am say”.

    When you do something, “I am do/I am doing/I am did”.

    You am gets me?

  254. #254 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 15, 2009 - 11:57 PM

    😀 Thanks for clarifying that.

    Will am use thismethod for essays?

  255. #255 by khansahab on March 16, 2009 - 12:02 AM


    I am recommend using it in essays- just to grab the extra marks for grammar etc.

  256. #256 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 12:07 AM

    Ok I am confused. Are you being serious?!

  257. #257 by khansahab on March 16, 2009 - 12:11 AM

    It’s simple! What’s there to be confused about?

    You said, “I am confused” did you not?

    I guess many people don’t know what I am trying to say?

  258. #258 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 12:19 AM

    Can you explain it next time over the phone. I am just finding it confusing.

  259. #259 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 12:24 AM

    Shabba Khair

  260. #260 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 16, 2009 - 2:40 AM

    DRC – khansahab; I know Tehmina Durrani’s both daughters one was Biba and I can’t remember the other ones name. They both were here @ McGill University and I met them a dozen times. But, I don’t understand how either one of her could be a model? Because, both were very short, hardly 5 feet tall. And, very average looks. Like you see her walking on the street, you don’t turn back to look @ her for the second time. Just because they are Khar’s daughters doesn’t mean they are great. And, Khar we all know what kinda character he possess, the less we talk about him the better it is.

  261. #261 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 9:18 AM


    That is exactly my point ‘that just because they are Khar’s daughters doesn’t mean they are great’. We all know the man that Khar was, and Durrani did not hold back when it came to his character assassination in her book.

    Furthermore, I think my initial post was motivated by the very nature of Khar’s character and how whilst he may have been influential in some capacity in the past, now his ex-wife and daughters are doing as they please. Not that I blame them mind you.


    I am not good at telling where Pakistanis are from. I can sometimes differentiate between Punjabis and Pathans, but even then that is sometimes.

    Everyone looks Pakistani to me 😀

  262. #262 by Vanilla pod on March 16, 2009 - 11:57 AM

    Lol @ khansahab trying to teach DRC the correct use of English grammar 😀

    I keep thinking jhaki is memon for some reason…but i guess i am wrong.

    Sherry Rehmans real name is Shahrbano Rehman!

  263. #263 by Vanilla pod on March 16, 2009 - 12:20 PM

    People say different things about me all the time. i have been told i look pathan,arabic, punjabi, urdu speaking, chinese mixed race, spanish and greek.

  264. #264 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 1:17 PM


    I’ve notices some interesting physical traits of ethnicities in Pakistan.

    Pathan: Most Pathan men have long and sometime hook noses. Most good looking Pathans are from Mohmand and Afridi tribes.

    Punjabi: Punjabi men usually have a cut in their chin and thick mustache. Most good looking Punjabis are from Khwaja and Butt casts.

    Urdu Speaking: Most Urdu speaking women are blessed with pretty eyes. The most good looking Urdu speaking women study in Sir Syed College, Nazimabad 😀

    Sindhi: Have anyone seen a fat Sindhi man is his life time?

  265. #265 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 1:19 PM

    Some Social Observations

    I’m writing down a few observations about society in general in Pakistan. Although most of these observations were made during youth and my stay in the village, it can be applied to other parts of Pakistan as well. People of our society are very nosy and they are in your business if you like it or not. Women are the drama queen and you’ll find them as the root cause of most troubles (this may be due to lack of good education). It’s always fun to watch women gossip and backbite each other 😀


    Religion teaches you to obey parents in every which way so they end up controlling your life rather than providing guidance. I’ve seen how parents ruined the lives of their kids by engaging and marrying them at young age because the parents of both were sibling, friends, or they thought it would be better for their kids. We cannot ignore the religion factor here, we are raised to be obedient and say yes even if we are not sure. Also, most parents cannot keep up the pace with dynamic world and they remain stuck in their ways so what they think is better for their kids turns out to be real disasters.

    Mother-in-Law & Daughter-in-Law

    Mothers usually go for the kind of daughter-in-law they think will be obedient (Bakri) and won’t pose much threat to snatch her son from her. It’s interesting that most women will cry aloud about how bad they were treated as daughter-in-laws but when they become mother-in-law themselves they are no better. Love marriages are generally a failure because mother and sisters of the husband make life tough on the bride. Daughter-in-law on the other hand favors and is totally biased towards her siblings and her side of relatives’ i.e. if the husband side did her harm she won’t forget it but she’ll completely erase what her relatives did to her, there is always more forgiveness for them.

    Siblings vs Friends

    Since I wasn’t that blessed to stay with my family all year around as I spent most of life in boarding schools and hostels, friends were the most influential people in developing my personality, good and bad. I noticed that there is always more informality, frankness, and fun with friends compared to siblings but the blood bonds are much stronger than friendship. There is air of love between siblings where as there is more informality among friends. Guys have much stronger bonds based on mutual interests and mutual needs compared to female friends that often compete. Have you guys noticed that most girls wear a pretty dress just once and they won’t wear the same dress again in another social occasion? I’m still baffled about the reason why but it may be competition to look better than her friends and her cousins.

    The good side

    Families are strongly net and have much stronger bonds than families in West. The social element of respect for elders is impressive. There is also less selfishness or individualism if you will. Women generally are soft hearted and make more compromises than the Western women. If a women of our society really like her husband than she is really devoted and is a blessing. Men like Theossa and Khansahab for example are totally not sexist, they are all for women rights and favor feminist movement, animal rights etc. They like beauty in general and think if the face is pretty so will be the heart. If the face is ugly there is no need to look in the heart because it must be stained and ugly. Haven’t you guys heard the popular Urdu phrase, “Chehra dil ka aayina hotta hai” 😀

  266. #266 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 16, 2009 - 1:43 PM

    Mothers usually go for the kind of daughter-in-law they think will be obedient (Bakri) and won’t pose much threat to snatch her son from her. Theo.

    So, to please your mother you got her a HIRNI? 😀 Thanks for talking about my paternal tribe Afridi’s, yes we all know about their looks but you forgot to mention that they are also very aggressive and jangju type. My maternal side is Yousuf Zai and they are more sober and civil among the rest of them. Like, VP says, most people here cannot make out my origins they keep assuming, French? Spanish? Italian? Greek? Lebanese? They find it hard to accept that I am a Pakistani. Their perception changes with the dress that I wear or the language that I speak. Anyways like Theo says, Chehra dil ka aayeena hota hai …. Chehra mera thaa…. Nigahain theen uski…. 😀

  267. #267 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 1:59 PM


    I don’t want to sound like jingoist but I can’t think anything bad about Pathans so that’s why no mention of what happens in Khyber Agency 😀

    Btw I’m a Khattak Pathan and thanks to Baba Khushkhal Khan Khattak and the traditional KhattaK Dance we are somewhat well known. Afridis should thank Shahid Khan Afridi for their fame. Did you notice during your visits of Pakistan how Afridi folks write their names on every public place? That’s why I called you Javed Aasmaan Khan Afridi, LOL, we used to make fun of our Afridi friends for that.

  268. #268 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 16, 2009 - 2:18 PM

    Well, theo Afridis and Khattaks both were Tax Collectors for hundreds of years at the Khyber and Afridi’s in particular are warriors. If you take pride in Khushkhal Khan Khattak, the Afridi’s take pride in Misree Khan’s poetry or Khatir Khan his real name:

    khe shola deera chi inkar de o kro zama da wara umar kar de o kro halak chi naha

    They may be warriors and aggressive but, by the time the blood of my ancestors has reached my veins it has calmed down a lot. 😀 Secondly, Shahid Khan Afridi is still an Akhroat, I do like his game when he is on song but, I am not his fan. Oh, btw has anyone seen the picture of Tendulkar as God? Here it is, take a look by clicking on the link below:


  269. #269 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 2:23 PM

    This is all so confusing

  270. #270 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 2:26 PM

    Wow Theossa good observations.

    Right so no love marriages them girlies, as per on the advice of Maulana Theo :d

  271. #271 by Vanilla pod on March 16, 2009 - 2:31 PM

    Lol @ theo’s social observations. i agree with them.
    i have another observation, some pathans have a very good sense of humour, Javed and Theo. both write cute comments 😀 (i dont know how to describe their comments, cute is coming into my head, if u know wht i mean) 😀
    i like sachin’s lipstick

  272. #272 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 2:39 PM

    LOL at Tendulkar God. I like Kali God, she’s kindda sexy!

    Yeah, I know how it was back in the days. The most resilient of all Pushtoon tribes must be the Wazirs. It’s interesting to note that people living in mountains prefer meat and are generally more aggressive compared to People living in plains that prefer a mixed diet and are less aggressive. This may be due to the tough life conditions that might seep into their nature and also lack of farm lands in mountains.

    I take pride in every Pushtoon no matter what tribe! Hey, your maternal ancestors created one of the most famous and one of very few love story of Pushtoon culture, “Yousuf Khan-Sher Bano”. The present one is of course “Theossa-Natalie” 😀

  273. #273 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 2:50 PM

    LOL at DRC, “Maulana Theo

    The bottom line is; all those older women had an arrange marriage not much for their liking so why would they let someone else marry on choice and be happy? Most of the older women are witches that won’t let you live life the way you want 😉


    Javed’s sense of humor is advanced level, I often mistake him for rubbing.

  274. #274 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 2:53 PM

    Hahahaha. VP, it is funny that you call two bustling Pathan men’s as ‘cute’.

  275. #275 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 2:54 PM

    I gotta go for a meeting will be back after lunch and if I was Munir I would add a wink after this comment 😉

  276. #276 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 2:54 PM

    men’s comments^

  277. #277 by Vanilla pod on March 16, 2009 - 3:15 PM

    Theo is trying to tel he is Munir?! :-O (the sting from the movie ‘psycho’ plays in head)

  278. #278 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 3:15 PM

    Yeh but how do you explain the mother-in-laws who are evil to their son’s wife, even though she has chosen her?!

    Seen as though you are married (alhamdulilal) you should impart your knowledge on the single people on LS :d

  279. #279 by Vanilla pod on March 16, 2009 - 3:21 PM


    i explain those mothers-in-law as being evil.

  280. #280 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 3:26 PM


    Scary stuff

  281. #281 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 16, 2009 - 3:39 PM

    VP the hall-mark of Tendulkar’s picture is not just any lipstick but, REVELON® lipstick 😀

    As regards Pathani humour, its in the genes and in the blood of every Pathan, the reason is, basically all Pathans are very lively people (Zindadil) and believe in happiness, prosperity and love. And, for love they keep fighting all the time. 😀 Whenever there is a family get together, shaadi or whatever (its not just us but among all Pathans) there is so much hulla gulla, cracking of jokes on bara, chota, men, women, no one is spared, everyone gets a flak. But, all within respect and good humour.

    One of my cousins, she said: “I can’t see at night and I mustn’t drive.” Her brother-in-law (her husband’s younger brother) said, “So, its confirmed that you met Lala (older brother) at night time and never saw him during the day until you got married.” 😀 Lala would laugh and wait for an opportunity to rub his younger brother at an appropriate time….. i.e., when he is like in Natalie’s world. 🙂

    And there is lotsa, lotsa food and everyone works in the kitchen no airs like Mehmaan or Mazebaan, all are alike and, like Theo said, we eat meat and nothing but meat. Its not that we don’t eat anything else, but its a tradition if you make too many vege or lentil dishes then you are targeted and made fun of, to avoid that there are so many meat dishes.

    Its strange that the name Sher Bano and Shaher Bano Rehman has been mentioned on this blog twice today. VP are you aware that it is the third marriage of this so-called Sherry ki Bottle ? Dost Ehbaab tou hain hee, Meow teesra hai iss billi ka. 😀

  282. #282 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 16, 2009 - 3:48 PM

    Saas Bhee Kabhee Bahu thee……….. then from Bahu she becomes a BHOOOO …. and scares her own Bahu. 😀 issi ko kehtay hain Badlay layna….. Only women can do this not men !

    Luckily there is no such thing among Men. They are Sasur Ji or simply Sasur. And, Da-Mad is Da-Mad. 🙂

    As regards Theo‘s break there are plenty:

    1. Whenever his Bitter Half calls him on phone, he says OK guys I am busy.
    2. Whenever he takes out his Tuna Sandwich he has to make a call to her to say, “honey I love the sandwiches you make for me, they are deadly delicious. And, he needs a jug full of water to flush it down.
    3. Whenever his boss asks him ‘what the hellO are you doing? He tells, us OK guys I am off for a meeting.

    I mean there are so many reasons that keeps him away from the “cOp-muter” as abdul spells. 😀

  283. #283 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 4:42 PM


    Since Javed has revealed Munir’s tactics he went hiding on me. I’m trying to bring him back. Hey, I’m a Gemini and possess multiple personalities by default. What is your zodiac sign btw? Sagittarius?


    I used these tricks on my Mom and that is why she is nice to my spouse; when I took her to Pakistan, I kept the Pushtoon traditions alive like her being in Parda; I would not sit and eat with her in the presence of elders and I would ask my mom to join me instead. I made her ask permission from my mom for every shopping trip she made. My mom actually started sympathizing with her that she is from another culture and a guest and I’m ignoring her. So the moral of the story is; do whatever you do in your own time, don’t act bold in front of elders. Respect and shyness go a long way with elders. Also, it’s kind of reverse psychology that if you give too much importance to your woman in the presence of mom she’ll feel Hai hai yeh Daien mere bete ko kha gaye so try to make her feel that she still is the queen of the house and Mama will stay nice to daughter-in-law. I love my spouse but Ummi is Ummi 😀


    Like I said before, even if it is a simple little Tuna sandwich but I know she made her with love for me so I appreciate it. But Tera kia bane ga Kalia?

    She might be American woman but she must submit to the authority of Theossa Pathan! Haha

  284. #284 by Mohammed Munir on March 16, 2009 - 6:37 PM

    Theossa …

    As they say, “Dil Ko Dil Sey Rah Hoti Hai”.

    Aap Nain Bulaya Aur Hum Chalay Aaye for putting my own winks 😉 😉 😉

  285. #285 by khansahab on March 16, 2009 - 6:38 PM

    Yusufzai’s rule….


    Question: What do you call a Pathan who doesn’t look like a Pathan, doesn’t speak like a Pathan and doesn’t behave like a Pathan?

    Answer: Khansahab


  286. #286 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 6:55 PM

    LOL Khansahab @ What do you call a Pathan who doesn’t look like a Pathan, doesn’t speak like a Pathan and doesn’t behave like a Pathan?

    I’ve seen your picture; you have typical Pathan’s strong cheekbones. Yeah, I wish your nose was as long as mine so I would feel better 😦 Sorry but once a Pathan always a Pathan, you can’t get rid of this Akhroat tag.


    Ever wonder why your left eye is smaller than your right eye? 😉

  287. #287 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 16, 2009 - 7:00 PM

    “Munir Ever wonder why your left eye is smaller than your right eye? ” Theo.

    Theo, thats because his eyes look like Hema Malini’s. 😀 JK (just kidding)

    Actually, after Ziaul Haq, agar kisi ki aankhain Hema Ji say milti hain tou wo Justice Ji ki hain. Aur unki mooch Hitler aur Charlie Chaplin ka cross lagti hain…. Pakistan pay&do-da-bad. 🙂

  288. #288 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 16, 2009 - 7:02 PM

    Munir by emulating a love song into a formal one i.e. Tum nay bulaya aur hum chalay aye Dill hatheli par lay aaye…. you have made it so Buzurgana ishq kay it sounds more like some Lucknow kay Nawabi ishtyle with Aap Janaab in it. 🙂

  289. #289 by Mohammed Munir on March 16, 2009 - 7:07 PM

    Javed Khan …

    Politeness man politeness 😆

    Theossa …

    I did not get that left-eye thing ? Are you referring my excessive *winking* 😉

  290. #290 by Mohammed Munir on March 16, 2009 - 7:11 PM

    BTW, I think very few “Pakistanis” are unhappy with the restoration of CJ.

    I heard a guy on VOA radio saying that I “Congratulate” entire Pakistani population of 16 Crore on reenstatement of Justive Chaudry, except four persons (Pervez Musharraf, Asif Zardari, Rehman Malak and Salman Tayseer).

    I guess we can easily add two more names here on LS to increase that number of unhappy persons to six (Javed Khan & Khan Sahab) (pun intended) 😉

  291. #291 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 7:12 PM

    LOL @ Omar

    You know gender is such a confusing thing in Urdu so it always gets mixed up. Pathans are more gender indiscriminative when it comes to appreciate beauty so Omar tum theek bolti hai aor tum uchchi hai 😀


    Yeah I was wondering about it that day also, this CJ guy’s eyes resemble those of Zia’s eyes. Their eyes also remind of crocodile eyes, you know Crocodiles always fake crying or they cry after they eat you alive.

  292. #292 by Theossa on March 16, 2009 - 7:26 PM

    Yes Munir I meant excessive winking which you started at a young age whenever you would see a beautiful boy like Omar and Javed 😀

    Gotta go guys, have a nice day.

  293. #293 by Mohammed Munir on March 16, 2009 - 7:33 PM

    Here a nice Ghazal for all those who still speak and ‘understand’ Urdu.

    Shafqat Amanat is a modern singer with a deep touch of Sufism, specialising in Sufi Kalaam.

    Enjoy …

    Please tell me how you guys like it

  294. #294 by Mohammed Munir on March 16, 2009 - 7:42 PM

    Have to go now…

    See you all in the morning

    Take care,

  295. #295 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 16, 2009 - 11:29 PM

    This always cheers me up when I am down. Sad I know.

    Maulana Theo, I will be coming to you for more advice very soon. 😀

  296. #296 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 17, 2009 - 2:28 AM

    Munir – Your “Pun =do= Pun” taken, no hard feelings 😀 but, that guy who said on VOA must have blinkers on his eyes to say only four people may not be happy in Pakistan bakaoz, there must be millions more who are not happy. And, I cannot talk on behalf of khansahab but, I can say about myself, I am not unhappy but, I feel sorry for Pakistan and Pakistanis at CJC’s restoration and my personal happiness or unhappiness doesn’t matter in this case and he is not important to me in my life.

    Barring a few people, everyone I know here has the same feelings as I do i.e., bringing back a corrupt, uncouth and incompetent Judge is not going to solve the problems of the country in fact he is going to ruin the judiciary more than it has already suffered. So, there is nothing good that will come out after his restoration, mark my words and see whats gonna happen next. He will not behave like a judge but, like a petty politician and will spit venom against those who opposed him.

    Right from the day Zardari came into power I have been saying that Chor, Luteray, Daku holding Pakistan hostage but, what happened yesterday i.e., what Zardari did to avert a 1971 like situation is commendable. Whoever is behind that decision it is always the top man who gets the flak or the credit so, I give him that credit for cutting the Long March Short.

    Also, Zardari deserves a pat on his shoulders for stuffing an old and smelly pair of socks in the ugly, stinking mouth of Nawaz Sharif, who was so blatantly playing the Punjab card to make his demands fulfill or approved. He was using the same kinda language against non-Punjabis like ZA Bhutto used against the Bengalis or the East Pakistanis.

    Three four days ago Nawaz said, “if the judges are restored and the Governor rule is lifted, that is the end of the problem and there will be nothing after that.” See, if this Son of the Soil sticks to his word? He will not be his father’s son if he keeps quiet and won’t interfere in the affairs of the government until the next elections. He will now instigate and do backseat mothering with the Chaudhary and will create further “Fitnay” to destabilize Pakistan.

    Ps. In what context are you preaching politeness? I didn’t get that.

  297. #297 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 17, 2009 - 2:31 AM

    “Maulana Theo, I will be coming to you for more advice very soon.”

    DRC, Hijrat ka iraada hai? Are you migrating from the UK to the USA? Aapki flight oooper say guzray gee, neechay Canada ho ga! 😀

  298. #298 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 17, 2009 - 2:34 AM

    VP – you would love this one:

    I went ROTFLOLING after seeing this.

  299. #299 by Mohammed Munir on March 17, 2009 - 5:14 AM

    Javed Khan …

    No no, I am not trying to preach politeness or anything, what I meant was that in response to your comment no. 320 (Aap Janab etc.) I was myself trying to be polite.

    While on other hand, I am surprised that you are now giving credit to Zardari for restoration of CJ.

    – Do you really believe that ?

    – What about Nawaz Sharif waiting quietly for one full year for Zardari implement his own commitment of restoration CJ (which Zardari swore on Quran) ?

    And on being ‘top-man’, well I guess Kiyani is the actual ‘top-man’ and NOT Zardari, and Kiyani pushed Yousaf Raza Jillani in doing that.

    Where as Zardari, after seeing his own PPP seniors like Nahid Khan, Safdar Abbasi, Raza Rabbani, Sheery Rehman, and many others, saw the tide shifting to the other side and finally Zardai Nain Apna Thuka Chaata.

    Zardari is a pure “Laatoun Ka Bhoot”, he never implemented what he agreed without arm-twisting or rather ‘arm-breaking’ 😉 and he was the only reason for all this commotion in Pakistan as he initiated when he went back on his own words.

  300. #300 by Mohammed Munir on March 17, 2009 - 9:02 AM

    Javed Khan …

    LMAO / LOL @ “Pun =do= Pun”.

    I really like your ‘isshtiilee’ of playing with words, you are good at it.

    You must be given a Diploma in ‘todo’/’marodoing’ of Urdu/ English and PUN-jabi, with a touch of other languages too. LOL.

  301. #301 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 11:18 AM


    aww i felt sorry for the dog when it rummaged into the wall, i shouldnt say it but it was funny 😀

  302. #302 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 11:21 AM

    I watched Beowulf last night! really liked it!! it had sea monsters and a really big flying dragon and a succubus.

  303. #303 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 11:23 AM


    i really liked that song! big and chunky. awww i loved madagascar

  304. #304 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 12:21 PM


    How could you say, “I thank you?” Why don’t you ever learn the correct sentence from Abdul and say I am thank you?


    Man, this Gustave Crocodile supposedly has eaten 300 people alive, very impressive, matter of fact awesome! 😀

    I don’t know if you ever watch Outdoor Channel, they show how to hunt a Croc. In Florida, they use a bait like whole chicken tied to a rope and when the Croc is hooked it turns and twists to break free but all the hunter has to do is to take his head out of water and then he shoots the Croc in the head with a 0.45 caliber magnum or a rifle. Man, I want to try it someday, looks cool!

    I’m not sure about Malik’s eyes but Shahid Afridi’s eyes remarkably resemble those of Clint Eastwood!

    Btw I have nothing against CJ it’s just that he ain’t pretty so he is not going to get my support. I personally think every politician in Pakistan should take part in a cat walk and the good people of NWFP decide who is eligible to run for the office 😀

    Jeete raho Beta, Jooton nahawo aor Bhooton palo. Khuda tumhari Lumbi zabaan aor Umar daraaz kere

    Although all my work is for the welfare of human beings but next time if you need Maulana Theo’s advice, please send a money order in the sum of 50 bucks. It’s just that I’m collecting money for buying some ammo to hunt some Deer so that I can send Deer meat to poor countries around the World.

    If you don’t have enough money you can kindly ask Vanilla iPod. Since she has a kind heart I heard Bohut se loag osse choona laga chukke hien 😀

  305. #305 by khansahab on March 17, 2009 - 1:11 PM


    I am was testing you, I am wondering if DRC picked it up?

    I am thought you would realise I am was only testing you!

  306. #306 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 17, 2009 - 1:13 PM

    “Javed – aww i felt sorry for the dog when it rummaged into the wall, i shouldnt say it but it was funny” VP

    – as the expression goes, ‘it takes one to know one”, I enjoyed it because, up till now I used to think that I am the only ‘sleep walking dog’. But, now I know I have cousins out there. 😀

  307. #307 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 1:18 PM


    How come DRC am pick it up? She am busy picking up her lice!

  308. #308 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 17, 2009 - 1:37 PM

    Munir the reason I said, I give a pat on his back are written in the same comments that the top man always gets the flak or the credit. And, no matter what you say Kiyani is not the top man, Zardari is. And, that is how it will go down in the history books or on record.

    Secondly, what was holding Nawaz Sharif for one year, were his tools tied to a killa (hook)? He was bowled LBW (Urdu wala) and couldn’t recover from the shock. And, everyone knows that if he hadn’t played PUNJAB CARD he wouldn’t have created this movement and also used the same old snare tricks of pushing the lairs (lawyers) ahead and called it a long march. Khansahab has posted that comment that 20,000 lawyers did not participate in that march. So, how many millions or billion lawyers Pakistan has? Thats why I said, Nawaz exploited the masses and, it is so stupid of him to throw away his triumph card.

    What is he going to do next? Sit back for 4 years and wait for a new election? Or……………..

    After having been disqualified by the Supreme Court from contesting elections or holding any public office ever again, he is fighting for his and his brother’s political survival, will he be expecting Chaudhary Iftekar to revoke the Supreme Court decision in his favour?

    Ask the CHEAP JUSTICE CHAUDHARY to rescind the NRO and get Zardari? So that the People’s Party will then be Bhutto-less, leaderless and Sharif will have no credible rival and could force another election that he thinks he will win big, perhaps with a two-thirds majority? So, is this a dream or a revenge?

    Ask, bribe or intimidate the CHEAP JUSTICE to remove the two-term bar on his becoming prime minister again? And, then get Musharraf too and quench his thirst for revenge?

    If he gets elected (even in his dreams) then is he going to complete his unfinished agenda of imposing his version of Shariat Law in Pakistan?

    Going by his record, the much talked buzzword independence of the judiciary is nowhere on his radar screen. And, mind you that Sharif, like Zardari doesn’t trust Gilani anymore. Although Gillani was seen as a mediator but, his real role in this drama that just ended is of another LOTA. For all we know they might be playing a good cop-bad cop role behind the smokescreen of the seeming rift between the Zardari and Gillani.

    Munir there are many sinister moves that have taken place recently and many more to come and you wait and see that the Chaudhary too like Nawaz has an agenda and he will come up to take revenge. Like you once said, isss Hummam may sab nangay hain….. actually there is No hummam. So, they are not afraid of getting exposed. Only we don’t want to see an indecent exposure. I would rather ask them to COVER THEIR JUNK. 😀

    I have a business appointment followed by a lunch, so might not be able to see you guys till evening. Take care and have fun……….Theo enjoy your Pyaar Bhurra Tuna SaaNd Witch. 😀

  309. #309 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 1:46 PM


    Zurkava nawukhta na ke 😀

  310. #310 by khansahab on March 17, 2009 - 1:49 PM

    Munir sahab/Javed A Khan

    Those 20,000 who did not participate in the Long March were only from Sindh, from other provinces there will be many more.

  311. #311 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 3:50 PM


    The same principle applies to all Big Deer and Big Fish i.e. if they are big and old, it’s for a reason. I never saw really big Buck come out during day light here in Pennsylvania. They always eat during night and are very elusive and surprisingly smart! I can’t explain it but the Big Deer somehow always feel the presence of hunter. Even when I was wearing scent blocking camouflage apparel and was hiding in the opposite of air direction, they spooked and ran away. Similarly big fish are always wary of the bait and hard to catch. May be just like us some animals are smarter than the others (for example Abdul is smarter than Khansahab, I am agree) and this Gustave fella has outsmarted 300 humans and probably a lot more trappers. When we think of wild cats like lions, tigers, jaguars, leopards we assume that hunting them will be sight and shoot kind of deal but they are very smart animals, just think of the domestic cat.

    Oh, maybe it wasn’t Florida then on Outdoor channel, probably some other Southern State.

    I think snake trapping is pretty interesting, there are some guys in our office who do the rattle snake trapping and then they cook and eat them.

    Yeah, people in NWFP do not approve of Zardari; they demand the real deal Bilawal Bhutto to lead the way while they all follow him 😀

  312. #312 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 17, 2009 - 4:18 PM


    LOL I don’t want to get beatings from Theo’s wife. Advice from this distance would suffice 😛

    Although I am hoping to be in New York over the Summer.


    You talk sense hence why I think I will be needing advice from you in the future.

    Oh and leave the lice alone. Looks like I will have to change the pic AGAIN 🙄


    I am glad someone liked that silly song 😀


    I am samjhaing the need for correct grammer. 😉

  313. #313 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 17, 2009 - 4:54 PM

    Actually there is no point, you lot always pull my leg (not literally) regardless of pic

    *runs away crying*

  314. #314 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 5:02 PM


    I like the second picture you had on LS, reminds me of the cute little deer I shot in the face creating nice dimples 😀

    See, even Omar is itchy and he is thanking you for getting rid of the lice source. You’re coming to NYC in summer? Keep your expectations very very low unless Omar wants to boost about his city. But why don’t you come in Fall 09 i.e. Deer hunting season in Pennsylvania?

  315. #315 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 6:09 PM


    yeh that will happen when deers will become allies with crocs and ask the crocs to get us for hunting them.

  316. #316 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 6:20 PM


    Crocs will probably get you and Omar, two unarmed nice looking human beings. As far as I go Crocs and their allies Deer will end up on my grill and their skulls on my wall 😀

  317. #317 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 6:45 PM


    then if Omer and myself die for your sins, you can start worshipping us 😀

  318. #318 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 6:55 PM

    LOL, of course iPod, please you and Omar don’t forget to mention me in your will as the sole beneficiary so I can construct a temple for that purpose. You know my heart melts by just the thought of it, I’ll miss you guys and will worship you crazy 😥

  319. #319 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 7:28 PM

    LOL Omar

    I like iPod as the bait idea! Why I didn’t think of that? BUT who is the prey when you said ”One is the predator and the other is the prey. That is like me and Javed Khan debating” I suppose you meant Javed?

  320. #320 by Theossa on March 17, 2009 - 7:30 PM

    Gotta go guys, have a good one.

  321. #321 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 7:45 PM


    for better results, i think you should use the spin master as bait. and for suggesting me to be used as bait, i hope Javed the mighty predator grabs you by the neck 😀

  322. #322 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 17, 2009 - 10:01 PM

    What is a jhaki?

  323. #323 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 10:25 PM


    the word jhaki belongs to urdu language. it was founded by Sweetie the great in 2009. it refers to someone who argues for no reason and to further elaborate the meaning, Javed the scholar added that its implication suggests turrrr turrrr karna. it is best used for persons resembling habshi halwa.

    i hope this answers your query.

  324. #324 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 17, 2009 - 10:44 PM

    A lot of turrr turrr happened over here during my absence and I know who is the victim? The Sindhi looking innocent guy. 🙂

    khansahab, when I responded to your comment about 20,000 lawyers did not participate in the short march, I knew what it meant. May be you should restrict that comment for Munir only. 😀

    Btw, whats wrong with Sweetie? This is very unlike Sweetie to remain absent or out of action for this long. Sweetie; yes we are desperate to eat the Chehlum ka Pulao Zarda, laikin tum itni jaldi koooch na kero, we know you keep your promises and we also know tum bari sabr wali ho! So, come back in case you ran away with the spinkid (ungli pakar ker) 😀

  325. #325 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 17, 2009 - 10:51 PM

    Btw, khansahab and Omer must be very unhappy and disappointed because, they have crush on all the so-called good looking aunties and now, even Aunt“Mukhtar Mai” got married. Hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 😀 LOL.


  326. #326 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 17, 2009 - 10:58 PM

    I see. Interesting!

    Thank you Sister VP.

    Alongside Maulana Theo and the great Scholar Javed, you are a fountain of knowledge.

  327. #327 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 11:04 PM


    do not go by sindhi looking guy’s deceiving innocent looks! for he is a planner, a schemer, who thot you could easily be his prey!

  328. #328 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 11:08 PM

    u r welcome DRC!

    i am but only a student, learning from the molana and the scholar! they are the real deal.

  329. #329 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 11:10 PM


    in the link u have pasted, Mai is resembling bellucci in her wedding attire. but in the pic below, she is looking the opposite. which is her true self?

  330. #330 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 17, 2009 - 11:19 PM

    It is quite sad under the circumstances which Mukhtar Mai has got married 😦 She deserved better.

  331. #331 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 11:31 PM

    yeh DRC

    its quite strange tht the man threatened to divorvce his previous wife if Mai didnt marry him! where is the goodness in that?

  332. #332 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 17, 2009 - 11:37 PM

    I read elsewhere he is a manic depressive and also threatened to commit suicide if she did not marry him. Furthermore, two other marriages would have been jeopardised if Mai did not marry him. I don’t think he needs a wife, but I think he needs psychological help on a serious note.

    Mai, on the other hand, only did it so that other people would not suffer as a consequence and that is a big sacrifice to make.

  333. #333 by Vanilla pod on March 17, 2009 - 11:46 PM

    sounds like the case of aasmaan se tapki khajoor mein atki

  334. #334 by khansahab on March 17, 2009 - 11:53 PM

    EEEwww who would want to marry smelly old Mukhtaran Mai?

    How un-sexy!

  335. #335 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 17, 2009 - 11:54 PM

    It is sad, whichever way you look at it.

  336. #336 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 18, 2009 - 12:05 AM


    That is a tad harsh no. Upar wala joriyaan banata hai.

    Guess what happened to me today Khansahab?

  337. #337 by khansahab on March 18, 2009 - 12:31 AM

    You met Abdul?

  338. #338 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 18, 2009 - 12:37 AM

    How did you know 😛

    Nothing as exciting as that. I got stuck in a lift with a annoying boy 😦

  339. #339 by khansahab on March 18, 2009 - 12:54 AM

    And why was he annoying?

  340. #340 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 18, 2009 - 1:26 AM

    When the lify broke down, he kept talking and talking. Just thought I would share that with you.

    P.s. Got another offer today. In the post this time. I am really confused now!

  341. #341 by khansahab on March 18, 2009 - 1:35 AM

    I wonder if they will make you an offer you can’t refuse….


  342. #342 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 18, 2009 - 1:41 AM

    I am soooo tempted to go for it you know. However, 😦 I am very worrid about job prospects. I don’t know whether to take the risk! I was thinking maybe be part-time studying and LPC. That would be prolonging the agony though

    I am going to be ancient by the time I qualify 😦

  343. #343 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 18, 2009 - 2:31 AM

    When I opened the admin page, the last comment was from DRC and this was that one:

    “Nothing as exciting as that. I got stuck in a lift with a annoying boy” 😦

    I swear, the first thought that came to my mind was, was is Abdul? And, when the whole page opened I read khansahab’s comment in which he said You met Abdul? i.e., in response to DRC’s question Guess what happend to me today khansahab? 😀

  344. #344 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 18, 2009 - 2:36 AM

    Mai is resembling bellucci in her wedding attire. but in the pic below, she is looking the opposite. which is her true self? VP

    do you remember what Sweetie and Sana used to say? Sweetie used to say with so much make-up anyone would look better than those models and Sana used that word, “air-brushing.” So, how true it is that Mai Mukhtaran went to a Bridal Saloon for her airbrushing and make up. 😀

    I think Mai Mukhtaran got too much publicity because of Asma Jehangir who had her own hidden agenda, she pick up a few cases like this and then create a mountain out of a mole. And, in the process she gets more popular than the victim.

  345. #345 by Mohammed Munir on March 18, 2009 - 10:14 AM

    A stranger seated next to a schoolgirl on the plane turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about, sir?’

    ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.

    ‘OK, ‘ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a simple question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass – . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat potty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

    The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’

    To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss ‘nuclear power’ if you don’t know “SHIT” ?

  346. #346 by Mohammed Munir on March 18, 2009 - 10:30 AM

    Theossa …

    Ta Har Wahat “JAVED” Sara Pushto Ke Khaberey Makawa Mara, Tata’ Pata De Che Agha Ta Pushto Na Warzi. Na Pe Canada Ke De Pushto Tarjuman Ishat 😉

    “JAVED” Che Kala Tata De Tuna Sandwich Peghour Derwkawi, Nu Te Agha Sara Pe Pushto Ki Khaberi Chalo Ka Che Agha Adu Poye Ukhaya 😈

    Now Javed Khan goes like …. *confused* 😆

  347. #347 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 18, 2009 - 3:21 PM

    Munir, don’t worry I am not going to get it translated like you by a bank’s chowkidar you be happy! 😉 But, this is exactly what I meant that, today is not Friday and you are dodging the main questions posed at you so, who is more confused?

  348. #348 by Mohammed Munir on March 19, 2009 - 7:24 AM

    LOL @ Javed Khan…

    Here is something interesting.

    Women, can’t live with them, can’t shoot them. (Unless you are Theo) *wink*


  349. #349 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 19, 2009 - 11:53 AM

    A couple of weeks ago we all read, seen the news on TV that Mahatma Gandhi’s slippers, glasses and a few of his other personal belongings were auctioned in New York and Vijay Maliah bought them for some $1.8 and gave it to the Indian Government. I said what the HELLO? First of all this bloody auction business, secondly how on earth they went out of the country in the hands of the Goras? Then, selling them at this high price?

    Now, today’s headlines on BBC is, “Prophet Mohammad’s Carpet Set for Auction”
    By Julia Wheeler
    BBC News, Dubai ………. for details check the link below:


    When I read the headlines I said, what the F? He never had any carpet to sit on. From where the HELLO have they created a carpet in his name? Upon reading the whole news, the whole picture is revealed.

    The Pearl Carpet was created in the late 1860s. A carpet that was commissioned in India 150 years ago to decorate the tomb of the Prophet Muhammad in Medina is due to be auctioned in Qatar. The rug, known as the Pearl Carpet of Baroda, was created using an estimated two million natural seed pearls. It is decorated with hundreds of precious stones, including diamonds, sapphires, rubies and emeralds.

    Bidding is expected to start at about $5m but experts say its eventual selling price could be far higher.
    Tradition has it that the Pearl Carpet of Baroda was commissioned by India’s wealthy Maharaja of Baroda as a gift to sit at the tomb of the Prophet Muhammad. The Maharaja’s death meant it was never delivered and remained in India, being exhibited as a highlight of the Delhi Exhibition more than 100 years ago. Later, it was taken by a family member to Monaco. The tiny natural pearls, known as Basra, were harvested from the waters of the Gulf. Created in the late 1860s, it is largely red and blue with swirling vines of flowers and three large round rosettes across its centre. The carpet is to be auctioned in Doha on Thursday by Sotheby’s. The auctioneers say it is not inconceivable that the carpet could fetch as much as $20m. Whoever the new owner is, it is unlikely the carpet will sit on a floor – it is expected to be used as a wall hanging.

    See how they exploit the names? I hate these business people. These bastards can sell anything and everything for money including their own souls.

  350. #350 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 19, 2009 - 1:17 PM

    Nice pun on China and, its rank as the number one polluter in the world.

  351. #351 by Vanilla pod on March 20, 2009 - 10:33 PM

    Tried Ambala’s falooda today and it wasnt nice! 😦 very disappointing indeed!

  352. #352 by Vanilla pod on March 20, 2009 - 11:30 PM


    i need some help please. how do who write an even digit as their hundreds digit and 500 as their nearest tens? i have forgotten it! 😀 bad memory

  353. #353 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 20, 2009 - 11:57 PM

    Can someone get me some barfi? 😀

  354. #354 by khansahab on March 20, 2009 - 11:59 PM


    Have you been to Nawab restaurant in Manchester?

  355. #355 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 21, 2009 - 12:18 AM

    Bubblegum ice cream 😛

  356. #356 by Vanilla pod on March 21, 2009 - 12:19 AM


    yeh u bet i have! 😀 i love it!! do u? whts ur fav dish there? i like qorma and tikka masala and the starters are nice 😀

  357. #357 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 12:23 AM

    Yeah I also love their Korma/Roti and Tikka Massala.

    I love their chicken and fish grill, yummy.

    But I don’t like their dessert that much.

  358. #358 by Vanilla pod on March 21, 2009 - 12:26 AM

    yeh khansahab, they hav a lot of variety in sweet dishes. if u dont like the desi stuff, u can always have their cakes.

  359. #359 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 21, 2009 - 12:38 AM


    I don’t understand what you mean.

  360. #360 by Vanilla pod on March 21, 2009 - 12:41 AM


    i couldnt understand it either. its a key stage 2 numeracy question. i have forgotten how to write a hundreds number as a tens number :-S but thanks anyway! 🙂

  361. #361 by Abdul on March 21, 2009 - 8:13 AM

    VP :i need some help please. how do who write an even digit as their hundreds digit and 500 as their nearest tens? i have forgotten it! bad memory .


    WOW I and u have something in common. I also had to teach KS2 maths in a tuition centre every now and then as a part time job and also I was requested to as teachers recommended me. However, it’s only once every 3 weeks now because I need to concentrate on GCSE myself. I am expecting level 5’s from all of them and am desperately going to look to make one of the brainer ones apply for the level 6 papers. It’s a different system this year anyway as you no longer have to send them off to external invigilators but overall in my opinion I feel it’s pointless and a waste of time for the kids. Teachers should make their own assessments and the government has even scrapped the KS3 ones in majority of the schools. Anyway above is a past paper site which I recommend and issued at the centre. The mental papers are important arithmetic skills to develop.

    Anyhow your question above was worded weirdly. I also don’t get what you mean. Do u mean hundreds, tens , units etc or rounding upper and lower bounds ?

  362. #362 by Abdul on March 21, 2009 - 8:44 AM

    DRC:Can someone get me some barfi?


    Yeah don’t worry dimple rosy cheeks I’ll get u some.While I’m at it I can get u gajar halwa and rasmoli as well !!!!!!!!

  363. #363 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 10:00 AM


    I am agree with you. Over what, I am at a loss to say 😦

    Kind regards

    Spin King

  364. #364 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 11:35 AM


    Kind regards

    Spin Dramatist

  365. #365 by Vanilla pod on March 21, 2009 - 11:41 AM


    thanks for your help mate!

    the question is worded the way i read it on one of the practise papers. i am posting a link below, it has practise papers according to the academic year. u may find it useful too.


    good luck with ur gcses! i found them to be not that difficult. the toughest exams i hav ever faced in my life were the A-levels. gcses were not tht much of a problem.

  366. #366 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 12:40 PM


    Saw that on Cricinfo. Exciting stuff.

    I still don’t think this is Australia’s best side. I think in form Lee and Clark could have made a difference.

    However, on that point we can I am agree to I am disagree.

  367. #367 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 12:53 PM


    About Lee and Musharraf, do we I am agree to I am disagree?

  368. #368 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 12:57 PM


    Lee chucks? I thought his action is quite clean.

    If Lee chucks then half the world’s bowlers chuck. Shoaib Akhtar, Ishant Sharma, Malinga, Kulasekara, Fernando etc etc, their actions are much more suspicious than Lee’s.

    I am say here that I am agree with you, to I am disagree.

  369. #369 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 1:04 PM


    How pace should be played:

  370. #370 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 21, 2009 - 1:29 PM

    I know Gajar Halwa but, what is rasmoli? Is it Juicy Turnip? 😀

    DRC getting assurances (Allah Khair)

    VP has something very common with spinkid (Aur Bhee Khair)

    Khansahab and Omer knows nothing!

  371. #371 by Abdul on March 21, 2009 - 1:44 PM

    VP : Yeah that link provided some useful resources which I shall print of and use and the centre next week. I have just been doing some AQA past papers this morning myself. That’s a very good exam board and one of which I like using their resources. Yeah I quite like doing GCSE’S and examinations as a whole. I relish the challenge and mental ego as if it’s a competition with fellow candidates to achieve something.

    Yeah regarding SAT’s they are not ideal as many will be going to comprehensive secondary schools and could affect their sets their put into. Also say people are put into lower sets this generally discourages them from going to school and participating. It’s as if there whole life has been turned upside down. That’s how they get into violent and anti-social affairs.

    However 11+ examinations seem to be the real deal in which it’s nothing shameful to fail as only 45% of the candidates get grammar schooling admission but does indeed open the doors for a bright future if u enter that 45% category.

    Anyway this makes a good read on a remarkable story.


  372. #372 by Abdul on March 21, 2009 - 1:51 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlvPS0SL-nA ( Shoaib Akthar brilliance vs Giles )

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9O7HHHHLyk ( Shoiab Akthar amazing yorker in 99)

    These are the 2 best deliveries he’s bowled .

  373. #373 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 21, 2009 - 2:31 PM

    VP – Here is something for you to listen to just a 4 minute video, its FOX vs. Canada, just see how dumb Americans are and how proud they are about their dumbness and naivety.

  374. #374 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 2:36 PM

    Javed A Khan

    I saw it and was quite surprised at the beautiful (dumb) woman.

  375. #375 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 2:38 PM


    I am agree with you regarding the brilliance against Giles…..

  376. #376 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 21, 2009 - 3:01 PM

    LOL @ brilliance against Giles…….. and that was Akhtar’s first wicket, after all the 7 recognized English batsmen were out he took the wickets of the tailenders…. thats his true brilliance.

    Btw, khansahab being a BUDDING LAWYER you must read this article, by Nayyar Afaq, it will give you a wealth of information about Pay & Do CJC and his CarTooTs:


  377. #377 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 3:08 PM

    Javed A Khan

    After reading that article I wondered, why is the media so reluctant to bring these issues into the limelight?

    This CJ was a PCO appointed judge, why doesn’t anyone say it?

    Did you read that article on the cricket page from Arab News? (comment no 302)

  378. #378 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 21, 2009 - 3:10 PM

    I saw it and was quite surprised at the beautiful (dumb) woman. khansahab

    Khansahab, the reason I addressed VP was, I know you would have gone all out for that dumb blonde 😀 But, you still managed to discover her.

  379. #379 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 21, 2009 - 3:32 PM

    Yeah, khansahab I have read that comment # 302 on cricket page it was all about PUNJAB and Punjabi’s being GOODMEN. The rest in Pakistan are ALL evil. That Ch2So4 School teacher Sohail from Punjab knows nothing about Pakistan and Politics and he is “Kuwain Ka Duddoo” calling Nawaz Sharif & Cheap Justice as nice men not a thief and clean leaders, it shows his ignorance and also that of an idiot Buddoo of Arab News and his source. Its like Blind distribute sweets to Blind.


    Khanshab: Why don’t you copy paste that article of Nayyar Afaq on LS politics page for record purposes? At least it will give our readers a chance to know the other side of the story.

  380. #380 by Abdul on March 21, 2009 - 7:51 PM

    In school recently they were showing East is East to understand and appreciate different cultures. I quite frankly was finding the whole content as amusing. The film demonstrated Pakistani’s as a disgrace to British society by applying extreme household and public scenarios. The cases included the dreading factors of arranged marriages such as the groom fainting when he first saw the bride and the kids crying and arguing they didn’t want to get married by parental routes only to receive physical assaults from the evil father (Om Puri). To consolidate the negative image they described them (Pakistani’s) as “invading” places like Bradford and occupying British residency. To emphasise the *aki cultural disgrace they showed them being an uneducated laughing stock in public locations. Plus why show Paki’s being virgin’s until 25-30 +? Why go that far into one’s culture especially when showing to a British audience? This granted an overall drastic negative account of British Pakistani’s and Pakistani’s as a whole to an unthinkable extent although I have to admit the odd implications were right and rather embarrassing. But majority of the content was beyond reality and acceptance. That imitated shop keeping Asian tone was also showing plenty of insulting language for one to get carried away and imitate over as a joke. My personal opinion is the film should have been censored end of story. Regulations of prejudice and stereo-typing can and did come into play as a result.

    Anyone else seen it or herd about it ? Please share your veiws and openions.

  381. #381 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 21, 2009 - 8:13 PM

    OMG you must be a movie critic. You must write for Lifestyles or for some fashion magazine and with your expert opinion they will grab you with both hands. Or, at least they will hire you as one of the members of the Censor Board. We never “herd” about that and your “Openions” are “grate” Abdul. Keep it up!

    Kaa tay Jaa aur Chip kaye Jaa
    Jab tak Chalee tu Chalaye Jaa

  382. #382 by Vanilla pod on March 21, 2009 - 8:37 PM


    i was so shocked to see that video! they are so stupid!! i thot they were just joking around and being silly at first! its called Khuda ne ganjay ko nakhoon de diye hain. 😦

    i am not surprised Khansahab thought it was important to mention about that blonde woman, i am just surprised he thought she is beautiful 😀

  383. #383 by Vanilla pod on March 21, 2009 - 8:41 PM


    we were shown east is east in our english class too. i found it to be disgusting. and there was one other asian kid in the class apart from me and u can imagine what we had to face during and after the film, everyone was like: really? does it really happen in ur culture?! and i was like i have never seen or heard about anyone being like that old man (George Khan) in my entire family!

  384. #384 by khansahab on March 21, 2009 - 8:54 PM


    If that woman was not beautiful, she would not be sitting there. She had no intellect or anything worthwhile to say. So, she was only there as a showpiece.

  385. #385 by Vanilla pod on March 21, 2009 - 9:09 PM


    i think the men were dumber than her!

  386. #386 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 21, 2009 - 11:43 PM

    I dona dona no wot u all talkin abot? bakaoz I no see east is east or west is west, so ekescuze me for no commenting on it – abdul you are a good homo phone so forgate abot wot is written is past look it for tomarow.

  387. #387 by Dimple Rosy Cheeks on March 24, 2009 - 12:26 AM

    Man, it sucks having so much work to do 😦

  388. #388 by Mohammed Munir on March 24, 2009 - 4:03 AM

    Where are Theossa and Awas these days ??

  389. #389 by Theossa on March 25, 2009 - 12:42 PM


    I am agree that Alcohol since it is legal and easily available is worst than some drugs. Each year 42000 people die in U.S. because of driving under the influence and most of the deaths are alcohol related. It is people’s fault that they drive under the influence but blame also goes to impaired judgment.

    I am also agree that drinking even in moderation is not good for health. However, in the Omar’s case, drinking is his personal business and we shouldn’t be the judge of that. There are a lot bigger sins we do every day but somehow drinking is considered more evil. I do not like liquor but I wish I could smoke all the Opium I can but due to job requirement I can’t. I think I consumed that part of my Rizq pretty fast when I was young so I there is nothing left in my Rizq Basket. Hopefully by praying to Good God and after retirement I will be able to smoke some good amounts, Amin.

    Munir LOL @ 389

    Rora sahi khabara de okda, Javed sara dagha chul pakaar de.

    My NY trip was great. I attended a wedding and hung out with my cousins. You know it’s easy to make a fool of Americans by telling them it’s our culture. So I had fun with my guy cousins and partied all night while women stayed at home 😀


    Mien ne tumhien Muneer Bukre ke qurbani ka ubhhi kaha tha, Bukra Eid tuk intizaar ka nahin. Umeed hai tum ne uske uchchee botian banaye hongee 🙂


    It’s about time you send Maulana Theo some Halwa and Nazrana. He will do a wazeefa for your good essays and tests. Since he is a modern maulana he also accepts Visa, Master, and Discover cards. Thanks.

  390. #390 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 25, 2009 - 1:08 PM

    Theo, the debate with Omer was not at a personal level that he consumes alcohol, he never said that and I don’t even think like that. He was comparing the two and calling drugs as evil whereas, my point was and still is, alcohol is a bigger evil and the irony is they are not going to ban it like they are not going to implement capital punishment (I know some states in the US have), but the use of alcohol will remain open not only in all the states of the USA, but globally.

    As regards the stats of 42000 each year, I think it is a typo on your part, you added just an extra zero. 😀

    Sweetie herself is a Bakree these days so no use pumping her up. DRC may not send you halwa but she can send you the re-frozen Black Forest Cake for you. And iPOD realizing that she is left alone, is perhaps taking a nap. Oh jeez talking about naps, I am yawning……. I woke up early today at 5:30 and the Paratha, Omelet and yesterday’s nihari breakfast is intoxicating me, I must take a nap b4 I start my day! Jalnay walay jala kerain, kismet hamaray saath hai. 😀

  391. #391 by Theossa on March 25, 2009 - 1:32 PM


    Never call Sweetie a Bakree! She is more like a Coyote 😀 Since you challenged her she’ll be here soon with her K9s and 4 inches long nails or claws if you will.

    Btw I did not left iPod alone; I always keep it close to my heart while I work out in the gym. The Vanilla iPod is probably tied to a rope by Omar Trapper to catch the Gustave Croc 😀

    Javed, if you don’t mind me asking who makes your breakfast? My bet is it’s Chef JAK!

  392. #392 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 25, 2009 - 5:11 PM

    Theo to answer your question about breakfast.

    Surely WE created Man of the best stature ……… that is what God said in the holy book. Since Man is the best creature, he deserves everything that is best. As far as food is concerned, “All the best Chefs in the world are Men.” It is also true that my mother is the best cook in the world, so whenever I was with my mother or she was with me, she used to cook for me and make my breakfast, even when we had servants and, I ate the best food she made. (But, on April 10th this year, it will be one year since she departed.) So, I believe in, “Dast-e-Khudd, Dahane Khudd.” When I go hunting or fishing I do the cooking on the spot and enjoy the best and fresh food. Imagine you go for hunting and fishing and someone is shooting deers for you? Or, someone throwing the line and pulling the fish out of the water and then what?

    Theo my dear the point is, ishq may andhay ho ker tum apni “bitter half” kay hath ki pukee jullee rotiyaan bhee kha lo aur khush reho kay someone is there to look after you tou phir:

    Yae Jeena bhee kya Jeena hai
    Jhelum kay aagay Deena hai. 😀

  393. #393 by Theossa on March 25, 2009 - 6:43 PM


    I am agree NOT!

    Your clip of poetry should be:

    Yae Jeena bhee kya Jeena hai
    Kitchen mien pyaaz ke aanso peena hai

    & add that one too:

    Khana kha ker bhe chain nahee milta
    Ugla kaam phir burtan dhona hai

    Theossa tujh pe rushk aaye hai mujhe
    Life mien Hunting, fishing, Natalie, aor Tuna hai


  394. #394 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 25, 2009 - 8:07 PM

    Theo; ek tum hee ho jo Natalie kay Ansoo Peetay ho and thats why you think ansoo piyeh jaatay! Hum tou logon ko rulatay bhee hain aur khudd hustay hain 😀

    Kon rota hai aye dost, aur kis kay liyeh
    Sab ko apni hee kisi baat per rona aya
    Baat nikli tou har ek baat pay rona aya, laikin……
    Apni izzat hee yahan husnay hasanay say rehi

    rotay rotay zamanay may aye thay hummm
    hustay hustay zamanay say jainge hummm

    Rehi baat bartan dhonay ki tou tum kafi tajurbay kaar lag tay ho BUT we have a dishwasher for that 😉 Lagta hai week-end pay tum say wo “burtan dhulai, kapray dhulai, istaree karai, lawn mowing, vacuuming, dusting and car washing sab hee kuch ker wati hai.” AND no wonder you never write any comments on LS during the weekend. Computer is banned for you on weekends ! 😀

    All these weekend chores that I wrote above that you do, I don’t do a single one, I cook the main dishes bakaoz no one makes better than the undersigned, aur rehi baat roti, parathay, daal chawal key for that I have Mehbooba 😉

    signed /-
    Ba Qalam Khudd
    Aap ka Mukhlis 😀

  395. #395 by Vanilla pod on March 25, 2009 - 10:21 PM


    VP is not tied by a rope, she is miles away from gustave and was last spotted eating a Belgian chocolate cake, which her brother bought for her.
    it is reported that the perpetrator failed to catch her, because she was too smart for him, therefore he had to use something else.
    Rumour has it that that something, which is hanging over gustave is moving its arms in a spin bowling action 😀

  396. #396 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 26, 2009 - 12:36 AM

    Rumour has it that that something, which is hanging over gustave is moving its arms in a spin bowling action VP

    hahahahaha @ rumours and its arms…………..Arms and The Man would have been more apt but, the rumour is; that action is only 22 weeks old fetus 😀

  397. #397 by Theossa on March 26, 2009 - 2:09 PM

    LOL @ iPod’s comment# 453

    Hmmm…I wonder who that might be. I’m sure you did not mean Muralitharan because he don’t seem to be a very attractive bait. So did you mean DRC then? Perhaps she was stretching after writing multiple essays?

    Why you and DRC are always busy eating something
    sweet? I suspect you both have worms 😀

    Javed @ Lagta hai week-end pay tum say wo “burtan dhulai, kapray dhulai, istaree karai, lawn mowing, vacuuming, dusting and car washing sab hee kuch ker wati hai

    Mujhe Javed Asmaan Khan Afridi samajh rukkha hai kia? As far as I go I just compliment her like, “Do you know you look very pretty today” and after hearing thank you I continue like, “I was wondering if you could press my shirt”. This compliment before asking chore tactic always works on chicks. Just letting you know so you don’t have to do all those chores you mentioned above. Poor javed, mien ne socha Javed bhe kia yaad kere gee keh us ka bhee Theossa se paala padee thee.

    Shukker ada ker Javed ka bhi
    Jis ne hai saari karhai banai


    I have to go out in the field today so I’ll reply any whining later.

  398. #398 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 26, 2009 - 5:09 PM

    “Do you know you look very pretty today” and after hearing thank you I continue like, “I was wondering if you could press my shirt”. Theo

    Hai, hai……..Theo you have to put up an act to get your shirt pressed? God knows how far you need to go in getting something else pressed? 😀 Tactics may work on some dumb chicks but, not on your wife and not every day. Did you hear the famous expression, “you can fool some of the people for sometime and not all the people all the time?” Even a kid, if you ask him to come near you and you put your hand on his shoulder or give him a hug, he knows whether its love or an act? 😀 Now, I really sympathize with your bitter half that she cannot make out the difference between a real desi man and a desi actor. And, it also proves a point that you spend all the week-end acting and flooring for her to do those chores?

    So my dear I don’t do any chores they are all done for me, I don’t have to be a phony me and give her compliments to do this or to do that, its already done. The things that I cook are of my choice and things that I like and, I know for sure no one cooks like that. Besides, I enjoy cooking it and then invite friends and relatives who eat and they also enjoy it. The proof of the pudding is in eating and, they eat it and finish it and even ask me to give some to take home and that’s the proof, I don’t need compliments. Whereas you are always fishing for compliments. Hawwwwwww hai. 😀

  399. #399 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 26, 2009 - 6:22 PM

    Salam, I hope u guys are well.

  400. #400 by Theossa on March 26, 2009 - 7:30 PM

    LOL Javed, it takes skills to get a woman to obey you and it comes natural to Theossa as he does it in a romantic way so no jalan bhulan mere bhi, just chill. Like they say:

    don’t hate the player, hate the game

    So this weekend while I go fishing and play golf you will be doing Rona (cutting onions) and Dhona (Fabric and Dishes).

    I am also understand that you support Feminist Movement but Hawwww Hai is as feminine as giggling and cooking.

    Ab tum garam paapur ke turha chutkho ge mugger we collide a lot so that’s what going to happen 😀

    Like Munir said some time ago, pyaar bhare do sharmeele, LOL.

    Time for me to leave for home but I’ll check your would be curses or gaalian tomorrow. Have a nice rest of the day and don’t forget to make dinner 😀

  401. #401 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 26, 2009 - 11:25 PM

    Sweetie, good to see you back. Hope everything is fine?

  402. #402 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 27, 2009 - 12:35 AM

    LOL Theossa, this is a very nice way to retreat, each time you post a comment and then you say, “I am off for the day or, for the field trip.” You don’t have to explain us the details about how you are meaow-ing at home like a bheegi billi. Btw, like you beg her to iron your shirt, why don’t you do the same to use the computer at home? Are you afraid that the sandals will start flying and you would be dodging like Bush? 😀 If you get hit one on your nose, you would say like Regan “honey I forgot to duck.” 😀 And, mind you I am not showering gaaliyaan or curses, these are rose petals for your winning an Oscar for being such a phony hubby! 😀 😀 😀

    Being a Pathan all I know about Pathans is, they are never a PHONY. But, then there are exceptions like you and I don’t blame you ‘coz of your living in the west, especially in circumstances like yours where there is so much cultural gap that, you have to put up an act, which is so far from reality and a Pathani or even any desan would know that this kinda behaviour (that you demonstrated) is not real. I don’t want to say anything about your other half, because I ought to respect her.

    But, your junoon for Natalie in the virtual world, and the kinda craze and passion you have for Natalie mainly because of her physical attraction, you are dragging the same feelings from the virtual world to the real world, which is called “fantasy”. All, I can say is: ” Succhai Chupp Nahee Saktee Banawat Kay Osoolaon say…..” Wake up man smell coffee . 😀

    As regards my support for feminist movement, I am not an activist to promote any kinda women’s liberation movement or whatever, they are quite capable of liberating themselves. In my religion there is so much freedom for women and there is equality in many aspects. Unfortunately, our own people have made more strict laws which are against the religion. Like you will not find a “shuttle cork burqa” anywhere else but, in the NWFP or Afghanistan. And, I am clearly against it. Men are just men, they don’t need to prove Machoism to prove their manhood.

    Theossa, what is the point of all those steel head trouts and salmon or, the deer that you hunt and ALL you get to eat is just the same old canned TUNA? 😀 Man, one day while you are on your field trip, you are going to jump off the bridge and commit “Atma-Hattiya” like that Sardarji who was eating the same lunch everyday! 😀 Do I need to tell you that joke again? May be later.

  403. #403 by Theossa on March 27, 2009 - 12:16 PM


    LOL, Thanks for writing a whole essay to honor me Mien ne to kaha tha Javed Bhi keh aap ke sulge gee. Like Mir Taqi Mir said:

    Dekh keh Javed chair se uthta hai
    Ye dhuwan sa kahan se uthta hai

    @ this is a very nice way to retreat, each time you post a comment and then you say, “I am off for the day or, for the field trip.”

    Kia karon mujhe Javed Aasmaan Khan Afridi se durr jo lugta hai, LOL.

    @ Being a Pathan all I know about Pathans is, they are never a PHONY. But, then there are exceptions like you

    Phony, actor, aawaara, pagal, mujnoon, dewaana
    Mohabbat mien yeh naam hum ko milai hien
    Tumhien jo pasand ho ajee furmaana, Javed Khana
    Laiken pehle pyaaz ka tudka lagaana


    Sweetie bohut muddat baad tushreef lai aor yahan ka haal dekh ker ulte pawon wapus chale gaye, LOL. V Talk Eight should be named V Talk Crap. So my Akhroat brother when you are done taking your after-breakfast-naps, fire the cannons and I’ll be ready with my Apache choppers to spot them 😀

  404. #404 by Vanilla pod on March 27, 2009 - 12:24 PM


    how did u find out about our worms? this must be the work of les worms. our sweet-toothed worms contacted your tuna-toothed worms.

    on DRC’s and my condition, a poet once said:

    yeh jo halka halka sweet-tooth hai
    yeh meray worms ka qusoor hai
    kay cake khana sikha diya 😀

  405. #405 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 27, 2009 - 12:32 PM

    LOL Theossa, mai nay essay nahee likha bhai, bulkay 4 lafzaon may tumharay “judgebaat aur tumki jindagani” ki turjumani ki hai. If you want me to crystallize it or summarize it, I can do that even in two sentences 😀

    Dou lafzaon ki hai ……… Theo ki kahani ……………………………
    Ya hai khayali Natalie, ya hai saari zindagi Tinned Tuna Khaani

    Laa raa laa la Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa …… 😀 😀 😀 😀

  406. #406 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 27, 2009 - 12:36 PM

    VP – Theo bichara kya jaanay Sweets aur sweets kay mazay aur sweets ka suroor, iski kismet tou kisi Steel Head nay likhi hai, issi liyeh he gets Tuna Tins everyday 😀

  407. #407 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 27, 2009 - 12:42 PM

    Ye dhuwan sa kahan se uthta hai Theo Mir Dard. 😀

    Baagh may kisi Bul Bul ka dil jul reha hoga
    Ya phir Theo ki Kursi kay neechay wire fused hoga

    Abhi mai nay nashta bhee nahee kiya aur tum kaam per bhee aagaye!

    BV ki naukri may aur apnay business may yehi farq hota hai
    Naukri bakri hoti hai aur business sher hota hai

  408. #408 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 27, 2009 - 12:50 PM

    Yar Theo mazaa nahee aata when you type like a 70 year old with two fingers jis may say ek “trigger finger” ho gayee. It seems like your comments are coming from Mars, so slow.!!

    Dekho meri terha type kero thuka thuk thukk thukk……. key board bhee panah mangta hai aur tumhara jo haal hai wo tum hee jano 😀

    Today, I have an important meeting with my Accountant regarding the year end taxes and I have to give him some documents so that he can work it out on the weekend and send it before the month end. Besides, it is Javed Jummah Khan as you say! But, uss say bhee pehlay Mehbooba kay parathey are waiting for me. Good luck with your canned tuna.


    McDonald ad says ” I am lovin’ it “
    And, it is not licking it as you think with a wink 😉

  409. #409 by Theossa on March 27, 2009 - 1:46 PM

    LOL iPod

    Yeh jo halka halka maraor hai
    Yeh iPod ke worms ka qusoor hai
    keh usse cake khana sikha diya
    DRC ko bhe chuska laga diya

    & for you & DRC

    Ub pait pakar ker bhete ho spring ke shaamon mien
    Es turha to hotta hai es turha ke kamon mien

    : D


    Daal roti (Tuna, Bread) bhe kamani hai yaar, ub her waqt to LS per aane se raha muggaraap tum kia Bejnus kerete ho keh raat ko jaagte ho aor subha ko nashte ke baad sote ho? 😀

    Uccha bahana hai keh Bejnus mien lage rehte hian
    Saaf chuhpte bhe nahin saamne aate bhe nahin

    Aap keliye aik aor taaza kalaam urz hai:

    Dubbe mien dubba, dubbe mien cake
    Mera Tuna Sandwich laakhon mien eik

  410. #410 by Abdul on March 27, 2009 - 8:29 PM

    Tuna Sandwich is my typical lunch as well. Khansahab I saw your comment about your typical meals. Your breakfast of Cake Rusk and chai sounds like a typical Pakistani breakfast but I tend to prevent any sugars in tea for health reasons. Otherwise your lunch seems a little over the top but appetising! I mean all those mixtures and ingredients!

    Otherwise I would like to ask u about the progression of the ambition u stated at the start of the year of “getting a girlfriend”. This created a lot of debate around the time and even created question marks over my sexuality status LOL! Also Kaleem seemed to appear and discriminate youth as a result.

    Anyway yeah about the girlfriend let’s spill the beans…………

    Go one reveal it to us because as Munir quoted: we are all one big family here on LS.

    So don’t feel embarrassed and provide us (bloggers) with an insight into your achievements. Hopefully u haven’t unleashed authority quite as of yet.

  411. #411 by Mohammed Munir on March 28, 2009 - 5:38 AM

    LOL @ Theossa …

    I absolutely liked your parody ‘Shaairee’, more like a ‘Fil-Badee’ thing.

    Javed Khan …

    Yes, I am agree, it is “I am lovin’ it” 😉

    And about your Hansnan/ Hansaana, here is a nice qoute for you:

    Life laughs at you when you are unhappy.

    Life smiles at you when you are happy.

    Life “salutes” you when you make others happy.

  412. #412 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 28, 2009 - 11:03 AM

    Theo; Raat ko Bijnus nahee Ayeyashi kertay hain yaar! Live cricket match dekhtay hain aur agar week-end ho tou yaar dost aa jatay aur , Nihari / Biryani ya koi one dish stag party hoti hai aur ab tou Maosam bhee ijazat deta hai tou BBQ bhee aur June/July may mango parties etc., and there is no formality among friends. You phone them and ask, kya ker rehay ho? Kuch nai, accha tou phir ajao meri taraf and they come. If you invite them with their bitter-halves then you need two months notice and too many formalities and too much lawaazmaat. Guys are not formal.

    Some of my friends have carpet business, garment business and a few are Chartered accountants. And about me its written on my profile on LS. So, what else do you wanna know? Besides you are going to read this message on Monday. Right now you must be busy doing chores. Itnay saaray Dubbay hain tumharay pas kay Dubbay dhotay dhotay shaam ho jai ge! 😀 Aur, tum tou yaar juggler ho gaye balkay street performer – chota mota jaadoogar. Dubbay kay ander cake aur cake is sometimes converted into Tuna sandwich and sometimes Natalie Saand-witch.

    On your saaf chupte bhee nahee saamne aate bhee naheen ………. ek sher suno, balkay 2 sher.

    Paas aao tou bikhar jaye gaa Afsooon saara
    Dooor hee dooor say suntay reho shehnai ko

    AfsoooN = Jadoo (magic)

    Shehnai is sucha loud yet very melodious instrument that you have to listen to it from a distance. If you are near, tou kaano per itni buri lagaygi ka kaan kay na sirf parday balkay sofay bhee phut jain ge 😀

    Doosra sher hai on similar lines:

    Faasla Chaand bana dayta hai hurr pathaar ko
    Dooor ki Roshni nazdeek tou aanay say rehi

    If you land on the moon, do you think its shining as it appears from here? On a lighter side, they say that the back side of the moon is dark! I saw an old, old MAD MAGAZINE and on the cover, that buck teeth kid, Denis the Menace pulled his shorts down and showing his BUTT and saying, “Back side of the Moon.”

  413. #413 by Abdul on March 29, 2009 - 8:43 AM

    Gee your lives sound ever so fascinating and lively. The closest experiences I’ve had are a couple of close hugs or some fellow girls requesting for a photo next to me. Although once I was asked to dance at a school disco but denied the temptation for religious obligations. Theossa seemed to have the best experience with women. Blimey 29 girlfriends!!!!!

  414. #414 by Abdul on March 29, 2009 - 8:51 AM

    If u did u remind me of Mushy when he was younger before Saed Anwar’s preaching struck him and he reformed his character all together.

    Or even Shoiab Akthar and his many girlfriends he’s had in India and England.
    Here below is a evidence of a photo which has been well publicized with him in a Australian night club.

    But Imran Khan appealed as the real “lady’s man” with his relationship with Jemina Khan. Please consider the age difference though LOL.

  415. #415 by khansahab on March 29, 2009 - 9:19 PM


    Nah, nothing has happened. I am busy either doing house chores or studying these days. Whatever little time I get in the middle, I tend to watch cartoons or movies. I really don’t have time these days to go out or party.

    Friday night I was invited to a party which would have been good fun but I was too busy working at home. The party was advertised on Facebook and I saw the list of attendees. A lot of them were hot Sikhni chicks and I could have met a few had I attended.

    I don’t think it’s possible to hunt chicks unless I’ve got some income or a car of my own or something like that!

  416. #416 by dimplerosycheeks on March 30, 2009 - 12:52 PM

    Maulana Theo

    I am incredibly stressed and my workload seems to increase rather than decrease. These next months are going to be very tough. You guys will probably not see me on here much. Hope everyone is well inshallah.

    Take care

  417. #417 by khansahab on March 30, 2009 - 1:11 PM


    I’m sorry to hear the stress you’re going through! I hope things work out for you soon inshallah!

    I’ve also had a stressful last 2 weeks.

  418. #418 by dimplerosycheeks on March 30, 2009 - 1:43 PM

    I missed your call the other day sorry.I was making my way home. Will ring you soon.

    Better get back to it.

    I reckon the stress will continue till graduation 😦

    Speak to you soon and thanks

  419. #419 by Theossa on March 30, 2009 - 1:59 PM

    Javed Shehnai

    Aap ke haal to baqole Poet:

    Ghungru ke turha bujta he raha hon mien



    Maulana Theo’s recently performed Istikhaara tells him that lately you’ve been procrastinating especially regarding your school assignments, which is the root cause of your stress. Also, you have started to eat more, the guilt of which turns into stress later. Right now you are lacking organization and planning. In case you study by yourself Maulana Theo strongly recommends that you finish all your school work during the weekdays with the reward of having at least one weekend day for fun and relaxation. The idea of having a couple of stress free days will motivate you for studies. However group study is always fun. Maulana Theo finishes his advice with the following prayer;

    Summun Bukmun Fahum La Yarjioon. Amin.


    Do you think eating Tuna Sandwich has something to do with 6 ft plus heights and brilliant intelligence and writing skills? According to my thorough research conducted on LS the three Maths wizards i.e. Theossa, Awas, and Abdul all like fish sandwich or at least fried fish. However the rest of the guys have an average IQ i.e.

    Khansahab: 92 (No vision in front of eyes because babes block it)

    Omer: 88 (his additional 72 IQ is somewhere else :))
    Javed: 66 (How smart a cook have to be?)
    Munir: 120 (winking puts stress on his thinking abilities)

    In girls IQ is fluctuating:

    iPod: 150 (plays video games, sign of intelligence)
    DRC: 90 (Actually not bad but worms and lice get the most of her)
    Sweetie: 160 (Pretty eyes reflect brilliance)

    I have to work on a project but I’ll reply to any responses you guys have during another break, tub tuk keliye huff and puff

  420. #420 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 30, 2009 - 5:05 PM

    Theo, as long as my EQ is good I am happy besides all this IQ EQ BS is man made and what good a 150 plus IQ is if you don’t enjoy your life fully? On the BUTT of a Pakistani Truck it was written:

    Aqqul hai tou Maslay-e-Maslay
    Aqqul nai tou Moujaien-Moujaan

    How apt :D, I am agree fully!

    I think I have said this b4 the story about eating fish brain, in case the high IQ brains have forgotten lemme re-write it here:

    There was a dimwit dolt and people used to call him an a$$*ole. He met a fisherman and told him how people abuse him and make fun of him. The fisherman said, if you wanna be smart, eat fish brain everyday. So, the dolt started buying fish brain and was eating it, after about a month he stopped coming to the fisherman. A few more weeks passed by and the fisherman saw this dolt and asked him where he is and what he is doing, and why is he not buying fish brain anymore? The dolt replied I have realized that you sell me the fish brain for $2 and you also sell the whole fish to other people for $2 and besides this is all BS, it doesn’t work…………. the fisherman said, Dekha, Dekha……. ayee na aqqal? 😀

    Now, the point is not about eating fish, I love fish and I eat a lot of fish, at least once a week a different fish, cooked differently so that I don’t get bored. Eating the same tuna tin fish is like a torture. Oh, btw this reminds me of a true story.

    My sister who is a doc in the UK, she said one of her doctor colleagues, a single bachelor Indian doctor, was proudly telling all his colleagues that he has paid off his entire house mortgage in 8 years, whereas normally people pay it in 20-25 years. They asked him how did he manage to do that? Because their salaries are about the same as his and their expenses do not permit them to pay an extra installment. He said, he saved on food. He used to go to these big chain food stores like Safeway and ASDA and during the sale time he used to buy cartons and cartons of tuna fish cans at less than half the price and store them in his house and for 8 years he ate only canned tuna fish by making sandwich or curry. Thats how he was able to pay off the entire house mortgage in 8 years. Mais, c’est la vie!

    On savings, here is another short story. A bachelor bengali guy was so tight on his budget that when his towel got torn off or used up, he couldn’t buy a new one because of his fixed salary and had to think of cutting on something to buy a new towel. After deliberate thinking he realized that if he doesn’t shave for a month, he can afford to save enough money to buy a towel. So, he grew a beard and after a month when he went to buy a towel at a Bengali shop, he saw the owner’s beard was almost 8 inches long. The man asked the Bengali shop owner : “Aapka kya Rojai (blanket) Futt gaya?”

  421. #421 by Abdul on March 30, 2009 - 5:36 PM

    Khansahab please check your email. I am thinking of perhaps revealing my identity to u !!!!!!

    Ironically I watched a drama yesterday and saw a Khansahab character. He was a right Budha Baba. So I am speculating are u old or is it a family tradition ?

  422. #422 by khansahab on March 30, 2009 - 6:23 PM


    I received no email.

  423. #423 by Abdul on March 30, 2009 - 7:11 PM

    Check now I accidentally saved it as draft !

  424. #424 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 30, 2009 - 7:21 PM

    What is this REVEALING MY IDENTITY BUSINESS? I mean who cares if you are a boy or a girl or something in between, or you are sweet sixteen or in mid thirties? Why are you trying to make a mountain out of a mole? Identity na hoi Tashkent ki Billi ho gayee!

  425. #425 by Abdul on March 30, 2009 - 7:43 PM

    Also Javed if u don’t know I’m technically a county cricketer and Khansahab although having his flaws like Musharraf was ever so eager to find out about my youth and profile on cricinfo.

    If it doesn’t appeal to u the best thing u can do is stay out of the conversation and get back to criticising every player in the game. Do u want to pick on Waqar Younis next ? LOL

  426. #426 by Mohammed Munir on March 31, 2009 - 4:46 AM

    LOL @ Theo’s totally hilarious IQ analysis.

    LOL @ Javed Khan …

    Absolutely fantastic stories about the ‘Fish Brain’, ‘Indian bachelor repaid mortgage’, and ‘Bangu Babu’.

    All three stories were just great to read and there was a deeply hidden lesson in each storey for all “Fish eaters” 😆

  427. #427 by Kaleem on March 31, 2009 - 5:04 AM

    I have been very busy @ work and no time to write comments but I read and enjoy some comments and people have to excuse me for saying this as i cannot resist this time and i have to say this to my beloved Abdul.

    Abdul you behave like a strip dancer on a stage who wants to reveal her portfolio but at the same time feels shy and getting jitters about public reaction thats because its her first time and she likes to go in a private booth to reveal her half fried eggs and twisted bacon to any eager beaver before it becomes a public news. Thats exactly the same impression you are giving us by pestering Khansahab to read your email in which you have reportedly uncovered the last leaf that was hiding your true identity and now you want to shock him by revealing it and you want him to believe that the virtual 6 ft. 2 inches tall hunk is actually a Hoochi Mama with two flat tires and a dented bumper. Or, two floppy discs with an outdated motherboard.

  428. #428 by Mohammed Munir on March 31, 2009 - 9:39 AM

    Kaleem Sahab …

    LOL @ your comments on Abdul.

    I must say, Aap Bohat Kum Boltay Hain, Pur Ghazab Ka Boltay Hain 🙂

  429. #429 by Awas on March 31, 2009 - 12:46 PM

    Hey guys

    Like Theo said, I love fish too but only one other person in my household has got that liking. Although these days nothing is healthy but I believe seafood is the healthiest of all meats.

    Theo, after bundles of problems, including financial and health, I too am contemplating of stocking up on Tuna tins like Javed mentioned 😦

  430. #430 by Vanilla pod on March 31, 2009 - 1:12 PM

    I like tuna too but i dont eat it as much now as i used to before because sometimes it stinks really bad and leaves a bad taste, feel like puking.
    but whenever i can, i have tuna subway on italian herbs and cheese bread with honey mustard sauce 😀 good stuff

  431. #431 by Theossa on March 31, 2009 - 1:58 PM


    LOL, good jokes there. It’s good to see you retrieving vision in front of your eyes about the benefits of Tuna Sandwich. See, it could make you smarter and save you money. What else you could ask for? The reason cooks voice propaganda against Tuna Sandwich because who is going to compliment their 2 hour plus making of Biryani when a better food could be prepared in less than 5 minutes? I know all the conspiracy against Tuna Sandwich. Only this time I am agree U.S. and Israel are against the very existence of Tuna Sandwich and they have their agents spread in countries like Canada and England.


    Your uncontrolled winking can be fixed by gazing at Tuna Sandwich. In any circumstances Do not try gazing at Tuna Sandwich when a hot looking Arab girl is eating it. It could leave you with a black eye.


    I sometime spread the Tuna on hot wild rice and then put some hot sauce and ketchup, tastes really good for a quick meal. In subs I usually go for roast beef. Do you guys have Chinese orange chicken available in your area? I love it on white rice with crushed red pepper spread on it.


    I hope you overcome health and financial problems very soon so we get to see you more often on LS. I’m glad to see more Tuna fans emerging. There is a saying;

    Fish nahin to kuch nahin

    About your temporary financial problems if I were you I would ask iPod to lend me some money. She has been helping out people but she won’t lend me anything for ammo to hunt and feed Deer to poor. I guess she never donate money for good causes 😦 But you can try; you never know when a woman would change her mind which is usually very dynamic one.

  432. #432 by Abdul on March 31, 2009 - 3:40 PM

    Kaleem and Khansahab do u want my mobile number.

    Here is it : XXXXXXXXX

    Feel free to contact !

    Yeah and Khansahab I smoke like theo and possess class A drugs like LSD and cocaine LOL

  433. #433 by Abdul on March 31, 2009 - 3:40 PM

    Just joking LOL

  434. #434 by khansahab on March 31, 2009 - 3:49 PM


    Thanks for clarifying that you were just joking. Otherwise I would have really thought you are in possession of Class A drugs!

    Anyway, I am sure you like all of us, have a life and value your dignity. That is why I have censored your phone number. Otherwise am you not agree that you would get calls from any Tom, Dick and Harry? You want Kaleem ringing you at 2am abusing you and your family members?

    Seeing that you have recently written intelligent and flawless comments, I was slightly surprised that your number only contained 9 digits whereas mobile numbers in the UK contain 11 digits. Even if you add the “0” at the start, that would make 10 digits. So where did your 11th digit go Abdul?

  435. #435 by Abdul on March 31, 2009 - 3:54 PM

    Oh it wasn’t even my phone number but I’m sure this random figure would have fooled and tempted Kaleem LOL

  436. #436 by Abdul on March 31, 2009 - 3:54 PM

    Anyway please check your email m8 as that would be gr8

  437. #437 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 31, 2009 - 3:55 PM

    LOL @ hoochimama and abdul’s X rated numbers ….. I always wondered who calls these OOkers by paying $4.00 per minute? And, what kinda satisfaction they get by calling them? Laikin Ch2So4’s ki kami nahee ek dhoondo hazzaar miltay hain.

    Theo, I never said I disliked fish, in fact I have always said, that I love fish. So why are you putting words in everyone’s mouth that people don’t like Tuna fish, only you do? The point is not about fish but it is about boredom and monotony.

    Ajit’s favourite cutree (secretary) Mona conspired against him and married his Chamcha Tony secretly. Raabert the other chamcha comes running to Ajit and says: ” Baaas Ghazab ho gaya, aapki Mona Daaling nay Taony say Khufiya shaadi ker li.” Ajit takes a big deep breath and says: “Phir tou iski loife may bahot hee Mona-Taony hogi.”

  438. #438 by Theossa on March 31, 2009 - 3:57 PM

    LOL @ Funny Abdul

    Haha, cocaine is definitely a bad drug but smoking marijuana is considered very sexy in U.S. When chicks here smell the smoke of Marijuana they get horny and are all over you! Btw have you noticed Omar looks high in his picture on LS.

    Kaleem and Khansahab are extremely jealous of you and you make them very frustrated by not revealing your identity. Javed is jealous because you are an emerging spin bowler and he hates popular cricketers. He has been writing against Wasim Akram who I think was a master of reverse swinging yorkers and reverse swinging bouncers. I don’t know what’s up with Javed?

    Oh, I like the tit for tat and very funny comments you have been posting lately. Keep up the god work Spin King 😀

  439. #439 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 31, 2009 - 4:12 PM

    Abdul here is a riddle for you: What is that which cannot be straightened even if you keep it in a Phukni for 12 years?

    My point about Wasim Akram was not about his bowling and I made it very clear that other than his bowling which is great, I am very disappointed by WA’s behaviour in general. But, being a spin kid that tail is terhee ki terhee. Even with this hint, I am sure you won’t make out what the riddle is all about.

    And you are not just technically a county cricketer’s butt, you are a dame good hooker of the bouncer’s balls and you only reveal those hidden talents to those who are bowling at you, so “I impressed” with your technicality and specialty and this is a rare “Kwalty.”

  440. #440 by Abdul on March 31, 2009 - 4:22 PM

    “Kwalty.” Are u dyslexic ?

  441. #441 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on March 31, 2009 - 6:03 PM

    Javed , I wanna answer tat riddle, its Kuttey ki dum, aka MUNEER!! lollll

  442. #442 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 31, 2009 - 8:49 PM

    Uffffoh BB tum nay sara maza kirr kirra ker diya balkay satyanaas ker diya by revealing your puppet’s name. Khair, how are you? And welcome back to the blog jo kay saieen saieen ker rehi thii tumharay binaa. Btw usko kennel may bheja kay nahee? If not when are you calling the k9 catchers? 😀 Just dial K911

  443. #443 by JAVED A. KHAN on March 31, 2009 - 9:02 PM

    Are u dyslexic ?

    aNO, I have a cylinder in one eye and astigmatism in the other which causes a blur vision and that’s why instead of abdul I read bull bull. I got an RK (radial keratotomy) as well as PRK (photorefractive keratectomy) after that I started seeing 2 bull bulls. One on the branch and the other on a stage, one is ready to reveal its true identity and the other is already making indecent exposures.

    Perhaps I need to go for a LASIK (Laser assisted in situ keratomileusis) but, I am afraid if I get that done, then I meet see bull bull kay bucchay aur bucchaon kay bucchay daal daal kucchay…….. God knows what will happen to this blog.

  444. #444 by JAVED A. KHAN on April 1, 2009 - 12:04 AM

    Theo on your hunting & your one sided affair with Natalie, here is something for you:

    Mai Shikaar hoon kisi aur ka
    Mujhay Maarta koi aur hai
    Mujhay BV nay Bakri Bana diya
    Varna vo bhairiya koi aur hai

    Kayee Sardiyaan bhi guzar gayeen
    Mai Natalie kay kisi kaam na Aasaka
    Mai Lay-half hoon kisi aur ka
    Mujhay Orta koi aur hai

    Natalie meray samnay tou aagayee
    Meray robe may tou jhukk gayee
    Mujhay Laat kha kay khabar hoiee
    Mujhay peet-ti meri BV hee hai


    Jo garajtay hain vo barastay nahee
    Yahan bhonkta koi aur hai
    Yahan Kaat-ta koi aur hai 😀

    Now, go ahead and add a few more lyrics to this parody … I am expecting a retort here. 😀

  445. #445 by JAVED A. KHAN on April 1, 2009 - 12:11 AM

    Sweetie knows a lot about jaanwar, I am not talking about her K9. Its during those days this so-called jaanwar wrote a nazm, here it is:

    Apni zindagi may hum dou (2) bar mohabat may giraftar howay

    Ek baar hum nay mohabat kee
    Aur doosri baar humay mohabat ho gayee

    Apnay aap say humnay mohabat kee
    Aur apni zaat say humay mohabat ho gayee

    Aap ko hum nay apnay paas hee rekkha
    Aur zaat ko hum nay apnay dil may rekkha

    Kabhee apnay aap say jo bay-qaboo howay
    Tou zaat nay humay apni aoqaat may rekkha

    Yani zaat paat kay chakkar may apnay aap say ulajhtay rehay
    Rafta, Rafta aap kay kuch bhee na rehay, aur zaat kay hum jaanwar bhee na rehay

    Adaab Arz 😀

  446. #446 by ¨*¤ §weetie ¤*¨ on April 1, 2009 - 2:35 AM

    LOL @ Jaanwar!
    Did u write tat for Paroo? hehe

    Javed , i so badly wanna send the dog to a dog pound, where the belongs, but i cant get myself to do such a terrible thing.

  447. #447 by Mohammed Munir on April 1, 2009 - 5:02 AM

    Javed Khan …

    Here is second ‘Missra’ to your ‘Shair’:

    “Ch2So4’s ki kami nahee ek dhoondo hazzaar miltay hain”.

    Naqad Maango, Udhaar Miltay Hain. 😉

  448. #448 by kaleem on April 1, 2009 - 9:30 AM


    if you think a 9 digit mobile number would “fool and tempt” me into ringing you, then you are assuming me to be as intelligent as yourself? dont you know mobiles have 11 digit numbers?

    lol @ khansahab’s comment.

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